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[Mr. Gary]

Hi everybody.

Achewood's been kind of big on absurdity lately, and I have no problem with that, but this comic was such a breath of fresh air. Kinda like late-career Bill Murray compared to early career Bill Murray.

I love Ray's acceptance of the situation. He just raises an eyebrow, and calls up Beef, then goes back to check his e-mail and presumably have another martini. What seals the deal is the *puff*, and, of course, the alt text. Wishful-contemporarymanship indeed.

If a military man riding on a missile went careening into Ray's backyard, he'd probably just raise his eyebrow, take a puff on a cigarette, and blame it on Pat.

Also I note that the fine tradition of "k"s is being carried over from "klamp" a couple of days ago.

[Bozack]

Hello, Mr. Gary. I refuse to smoke your pole, as beautiful as that act might be.
I love the fact that finding a giant Nike on your doorstep automatically means that Russel Simmons is pissed at you. It's his version of the hoss-head-in-bed: the giant-Nike-on-doorstep.

[mudokon]

Well, at least this explains the shoe, right?

[jough]

I don't know how Ray could come to that conclusion, since the shoe is obviously a Nike and Russell Simmons, entrepreneur and self-whoring bidnissman that he is, would never leave anything but a Phat Pharm (his company's brand of clothing and shoes) on someone's doorstep.

Ray's conclusion is specious here. Specious!

[CortJstr]

Wait, wasn't Russell Simmons the "Def Comedy Jam" guy? Is he still around?

[Turbo Ninja]

Nikes are more of a Spike Lee joint.

[aparrish]

This guy in my office went to Harlem to look for an apartment on what he claimed was "Franklin Douglas" boulevard.  Later, he claimed that Tina Turner sang "Respect."  Oh, the fun we had making fun of him.  "Hey, Joe, I think Monday's Martin Luther day!"

I mention this only because I had to google "Russell Simmons" and am hereby humbled.

Oh, and regarding the huge black shoe: I can't believe that there were those of you who doubted me.  The shoe thing is getting out of control.

[acoxcae]

Hmm - is it a match to Onstad's giant plaster shoe?  Who knows!?

Ray's reaction to this is perfect.

"Giant shoe on the doorstep?  Well, obviously I offended Russell Simmons.  I'd better check."

I have a feeling that along with toaster-oven shopping, Onstad might be looking for new shoes, and thus is slightly preoccupied.  No problem, a rollerskate is nearly a shoe, and it's always exciting when they're around.

[V-Adore]

Do we, dare I say it, have a new Achewood motif? Something to rival the rollerskate, except shoes are just connected with absurdity?

Also, welcome to the board, Mr. Gary. May you enjoy a wide variety of non-pole-smoking activities (and also, hey, pole-smoking if that's what you're into).

[CortJstr]

Also, welcome to the board, Mr. Gary. May you enjoy a wide variety of non-pole-smoking activities (and also, hey, pole-smoking if that's what you're into).

Dammit, now "pole-smoking" doesn't sound like a word any more. And I sure hope that Mr. Gary knew what he was getting into when he picked that user name.

[filas]

I don't know how Ray could come to that conclusion, since the shoe is obviously a Nike and Russell Simmons, entrepreneur and self-whoring bidnissman that he is, would never leave anything but a Phat Pharm (his company's brand of clothing and shoes) on someone's doorstep.

Ray's conclusion is specious here. Specious!

jough, i too was thrown by the ray's nike brand connection to russell simmons.  however, my first shoe connection to R.S. would have to be adidas (recently 'merged' with reebok).  
i thought that ray was just mistaken, but the alt text explains that ray did do something to upset R.S.

[Formica]

I thought Ray quit smoking.

[jough]

No!

Russell Simmons is a complete and utter WHORE for his Phat Pharm clothing and shoes.  He doesn't go to RESTAURANTS without bringing some of his own bling to spread around and advertise to the staff, the other patrons, people he passes by on the street, etc.

The man would not be seen wearing or delivering Nikes to anyone's doorstep, let alone paying to have a giant Nike delivered (although given the cat scale it could just be a regular human-sized Nike).

It should have been a Phat Pharm shoe. Onstad fucked up.

[Bobby Isosceles]

No!

Russell Simmons is a complete and utter WHORE for his Phat Pharm clothing and shoes.  He doesn't go to RESTAURANTS without bringing some of his own bling to spread around and advertise to the staff, the other patrons, people he passes by on the street, etc.

The man would not be seen wearing or delivering Nikes to anyone's doorstep, let alone paying to have a giant Nike delivered (although given the cat scale it could just be a regular human-sized Nike).

It should have been a Phat Pharm shoe. Onstad fucked up.

Jough, you are far too white to be continuing this line of reasoning. Also, do not say 'Phat Pharm.'

[AlohaDawg]

I was thrown by the scale issue too - first I thought maybe it was Onstad's Giant Plaster Shoe as mentioned in the blog, but this shoe compared to Ray doesn't look like it would be giant to Onstad. So then it becomes about three non-sequitors chained together which is absurdity.

So, in the words of Eugene Ionesco: Watch out for the potted plants!