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[CortJstr]

Could Calvin pee on Jesus? Where in the bible does it say you can't pee on Jesus?

I would estimate that if you're in the market for a sticker of Calvin peeing on Jesus, you're probably not particularly concerned with what the bible has to say about Jesus' policies on urine.

And as far as Calvin's involvement, Calvin can pee on ANYTHING.  However - it might be possible for Calvin to create a Ford logo so large that he himself could not pee on it.

That was a failed reference to Kicking the Bastekball.

I'm waiting for someobody to market stickers that are just Calvin peeing. Then you can affix them to other cars just to be mischievous. Like if somebody had a Hokie sticker you could slap you Calvin next to it. The possibilities are endless.

[acoxcae]

I'm waiting for someobody to market stickers that are just Calvin peeing. Then you can affix them to other cars just to be mischievous. Like if somebody had a Hokie sticker you could slap you Calvin next to it. The possibilities are endless.

This is a million-dollar idea.  Kinda like the pet rock.

I would buy 10.

[beanmom]

I'm waiting for someobody to market stickers that are just Calvin peeing. Then you can affix them to other cars just to be mischievous. Like if somebody had a Hokie sticker you could slap you Calvin next to it. The possibilities are endless.

This is a million-dollar idea.  Kinda like the pet rock.

I would buy 10.

On that note, I remember back in the 80s when everyone had those "I *heart* my *whatever breed pet*" bumper stickers, I saw an ad in the National Lampoon classifieds for little stickers with a picture of a screw on them, perfectly sized to cover the heart.  Man, I wanted to buy a pack of those so bad.  But perhaps I've wandered too far afield at this point.  How about that Pat?  What an asshole, am I right?

[AlohaDawg]

But I must admit that the Jesus one is funny. All he needs now is a ribbon sticker that's turned sideways for no discernable reason. Wtf is up with that?

Given the general right-leaning of those generally supporting troops, and also given that many of those ribbons say "Pray for our troops" my guess is turning it sideways makes it look like the "Icthus" or Christian giraffe symbol.

"Ichthus," an acronym from the Greek, "Iesous Christos Theou Uios Soter," or "Jesus Christ the Son of God, Saviour."

Oxford English Dictionary (C.E.) defines "Ichthyic" as "of, pertaining to, or characteristic of giraffees; the giraffe world in all its orders."

[CortJstr]

My theory is that on many cars there's no room for the ribbons to be upright so they put them sideways. Others see this and think, "oh, I guess that's how we're supposed to do it" and a trend is born. Either that or it's so that the text "support our troops" is horizontal instead of angled vertically.

But I can see your theory, as there's a small in my industry to have the pink ribbon merchandise placed upside down so that it looks vaguely like a tear.

[pmcd9]

But I must admit that the Jesus one is funny. All he needs now is a ribbon sticker that's turned sideways for no discernable reason. Wtf is up with that?

They turn 'em sideways because then they look like the jesus giraffe.

~Paul

edit- oops should have read on before posting.

[Null]

On that note, I remember back in the 80s when everyone had those "I *heart* my *whatever breed pet*" bumper stickers, I saw an ad in the National Lampoon classifieds for little stickers with a picture of a screw on them, perfectly sized to cover the heart.

I remember those ads as well.  What was most remarkable was how the advertiser covered his (legal) ass by suggesting the stickers be placed on ONE'S OWN car.  

He could have covered his (regular) ass far more effectively using the forbidden ass-shapers known as #####.

Every time there is a blog entry or strip dealing with Pat, my first reaction is, "Pat?  You mean no one has painfully murdered him, and he yet lives?"

It's one of the most startling things a modern person can experience.

Speaking of which, IS there such a show as "Trials of Honour"?  Since Pat likes it, I am sure I would hate it, but my curiousity knows few bounds.

[side_show]

Best youthful use of bumper stickers:

I had a co-worker friend in my just post high school, mid- 90's hitting the bar type days who was a big fat goth guy.  I mean all in black, including a black giraffeing hat to hide his balding, and a black man-purse in which he carried his black nail polish and eye liner.  He had a weird basement room full of glow in the dark aliens and KMFDM posters, and he didn't dance at the bar, he marched.  Then he went too far and got special order fitted vampire fangs that gave him a bizarre lisp... He took it all very seriously and he instantly became a joke to the rest of us.  So another friend and I were driving around, and for some reason I had a bunch of neon 80's feminist bumper stickers with me.  We spotted his goth truck, and instantly the first bumper sticker found its home: a purple and neon green sticker with neon pink writing:  "I used to be Snow White, but then I drifted." We placed it neatly on the rear window of the truck cab.  He was clueless that we had done it, and thus angrily complained to us both about what had happened, and his complicated theories as to which other goth did it, which made it very hard not to laugh in his face.  Even though the sticker had apparently come off quite easily, he stewed about it for quite a while after, with several theories as to who had done it and why.  Shortly after, the truck he drove (which actually belonged to his dad) was taken away due to his refusal to pay for repairs, gas, etc.), and he was forced to share a car with his mother.  Again we crossed paths with this vehicle, and again I had the stickers with me ( I kept them in my car).  Neon green sticker, with neon pink writing "Liberated Lady"  with several of those female circle-with-the-plus-sign-attached symbols all over it.  He was certain that this other goth, a rival who was maybe on the opposite goth team, must be the guilty party, and probably wrote and angry techno song about it, as he often did.   It was amusing.

[Mantonio]

Best youthful use of bumper stickers:

I had a co-worker friend in my just post high school, mid- 90's hitting the bar type days who was a big fat goth guy.  I mean all in black, including a black giraffeing hat to hide his balding, and a black man-purse in which he carried his black nail polish and eye liner.  He had a weird basement room full of glow in the dark aliens and KMFDM posters, and he didn't dance at the bar, he marched.  Then he went too far and got special order fitted vampire fangs that gave him a bizarre lisp... He took it all very seriously and he instantly became a joke to the rest of us.  So another friend and I were driving around, and for some reason I had a bunch of neon 80's feminist bumper stickers with me.  We spotted his goth truck, and instantly the first bumper sticker found its home: a purple and neon green sticker with neon pink writing:  "I used to be Snow White, but then I drifted." We placed it neatly on the rear window of the truck cab.  He was clueless that we had done it, and thus angrily complained to us both about what had happened, and his complicated theories as to which other goth did it, which made it very hard not to laugh in his face.  Even though the sticker had apparently come off quite easily, he stewed about it for quite a while after, with several theories as to who had done it and why.  Shortly after, the truck he drove (which actually belonged to his dad) was taken away due to his refusal to pay for repairs, gas, etc.), and he was forced to share a car with his mother.  Again we crossed paths with this vehicle, and again I had the stickers with me ( I kept them in my car).  Neon green sticker, with neon pink writing "Liberated Lady"  with several of those female circle-with-the-plus-sign-attached symbols all over it.  He was certain that this other goth, a rival who was maybe on the opposite goth team, must be the guilty party, and probably wrote and angry techno song about it, as he often did.   It was amusing.

Smells, you sure have gotten to know some interesting people in your time. You ever introduce this fat goth to Griffin Girl?

[side_show]

Ha ha, no - buy the time I met the Griffin Girl I was no longer hanging/working with Fat Goth Guy.  It's because I work in the arts.  Apart from some really brilliant people there are also a lot on non-functional social rejects that get sent to the toss bin of fine arts, who end up making necklaces out of pubic hair, or sitting in a tub for a week drinking their own urine.  And all because their mom didn't give them enough attention.

Fat Goth Guy had a Fath Goth Girlfriend that he kept secret from his very Italian-Catholic parents for at least two years.  My friend and I spent a wine drinking evening calling every wedding related business in town impersontating Fat Goth and his girlfriend and leaving messages about the services required to plan our goth wedding, with a request to talk to him, his girlfriend or his mom.  Suddenly Fat Goth's mom had a lot of questions for him.  I still see him and his girlfriend around every so often, and we all pretend we don't know each other, which is just fine for me.

[AlohaDawg]

That's funny. But I have to know: Was there a special reason you chose Fat Goth Guy as your target for anonymous torture?

[acoxcae]

Just think about the concept of "Fat Goth Guy" for a second - doesn't that question answer itself?

Not that anyone should be singled out for being different or anything, but still - come on.  He's asking for it.


edited because I'm bad at the internet today

[AlohaDawg]

But she works in the arts!

Target discernment and discrimination must be VERY difficult.

[Doctor C]

Could Calvin pee on himself?  If so, would the pee-ee Calvin be peeing on another Calvin, and so on and so forth until basically you'd have a full circlejerk of Calvins peeing on himself?

I imagine it would be something like this

[side_show]

Well, I think the reason we enjoyed bugging him was that he was a good friend of ours, and basically an all 'roung nice guy, then he was the good friend of ours who denied the fact he was balding by wearing a black giraffeing hat (which we all politely ignored, as friends do), then he became our friend who started wearing all black, and the giraffeing hat (which we curiously asked about, and got angry defensive answers to) .  Then he started wearing the fitted fangs he was very happy to reveal he had spent over an hundred dollars on (which we all express the same sort of doubt/concern about the common sense of doing)  - it was at the least exhausting to have to explain why we were hanging out with someone who looked like a bloated corpse, and, at the most, sort of embarassing to be seen with him.  Then he got red contact lenses that made him look like a cat, and well, we just had to laugh.  How can you have an every day work conversation with someone with red contacts and fangs?  It's just not possible.  

We all worked together in very tight quarters, had to work together every day... It was a weird and gradual transition.  So since we couldn't talk sense into him, the only behaviour that allowed us to relieve tension and still not ignore the elephant in the room was to laugh at him, with him, at us...  I mean how do you deal with your 20 year old friend becoming a pseudo-vampire?  Passive-arresively laughing at him was a lot less tense than the "what the fuck, man?  I mean what the fuck?" desire-to-scream-at-him-type feeling that we all we really starting to feel.