The OFFICIAL Unofficial Achewood Message Board

Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
Advanced search  

News:

@achewood C:\> Get on the Night Train. || You are on the Night Train. There is an Axl Rose here.

Pages: [1]   Go Down

Author Topic: Fuck Everything, We're Doing Five Blades  (Read 3892 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

pmcd9

  • Mod Squad
  • Dude since Knucklehead times
  • *
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 608
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 12778
  • The Kid is up to no good
    • View Profile
Fuck Everything, We're Doing Five Blades
« on: September 15, 2005, 02:33:15 am »
Gillette, apparently unaware of the complete mockery of such a thing written over a year ago, actually announced that they're making a five-blade razor. It even has the second aloe strip. fuck*ng hilarious.

~Paul
Logged
I hope I never have to refer to a scone in spoken conversation.

jough

  • God's Own Dick
  • Administrator
  • Philippe is standing on it.
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 948
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 6871
  • If you've got the time, we've got El Guapo.
    • View Profile
    • poetry archives
Fuck Everything, We're Doing Five Blades
« Reply #1 on: September 15, 2005, 06:36:22 am »
Yeah, I wrote a piece for Slate a couple of years ago (I can't find it in the archives now) about the Nuevo, which has nine blades.

The first blade taunts the hair, the second fucks its mother, the third blade acts as lookout while the fourth blade comes up behind the hair with a shiv, the fifth blade... blah blah blah.

I actually use a Shick Quattro because I got one for free in the mail and liked it well enough.  It really does give a very smooth shave.
Logged

acoxcae

  • Todd
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 1
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 314
  • Because I don't have one. Never have.
    • View Profile
    • My Blog
Fuck Everything, We're Doing Five Blades
« Reply #2 on: September 15, 2005, 01:33:24 pm »
I remember reading the Onion article a while back and thinking "Haha, yeah, they probably will have five blades before too long."

Now I can't believe how completely spot-on such a ridiculous article at the time was:  Straight from three to five blades, TWO aloe strips!  The people at the Onion are clearly shaving gods from the future, come back to prepare us for what might eventually be.

I use an electric.
Logged
this new board has a shitload of buttons.

why are there no zippers?
-thanks ark

AlohaDawg

  • Mod Squad
  • LAZARUS, Tasseled Loafer of the Powerful
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 79
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 4184
  • Crawlin' back to prosperity
    • View Profile
Fuck Everything, We're Doing Five Blades
« Reply #3 on: September 15, 2005, 05:29:35 pm »
Not exactly stratight from three to five blades...don't you think the Quattro just <might> have four blades?

Best of all, the new Gillette five-blade model comes with a trimmer! So really, there are six blades.

the most confusing thing to me?

Quote from: "CNN"
NEW YORK (CNN/Money) - Gillette has escalated the razor wars yet again, unveiling a new line of razors on Wednesday with five blades and a lubricating strip on both the front and back.


Is the lubricating strip on the back to make the thing harder to hold? Unless you're shaving someplace between....

never mind.
When will it end?
Logged

jough

  • God's Own Dick
  • Administrator
  • Philippe is standing on it.
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 948
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 6871
  • If you've got the time, we've got El Guapo.
    • View Profile
    • poetry archives
Fuck Everything, We're Doing Five Blades
« Reply #4 on: September 15, 2005, 06:53:35 pm »
Well, the Quattro is made by Shick (sp?) and Gillette is making the Cinqo (or whatever they're calling it) so yes, Gillette jumped right from the Mach3 to the 5-bladed razor.

Interesting to note that most electronics companies (like Palm) will skip numbering something the "_____ 4" because the word four is a homonym for death in Japanese.
Logged

AlohaDawg

  • Mod Squad
  • LAZARUS, Tasseled Loafer of the Powerful
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 79
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 4184
  • Crawlin' back to prosperity
    • View Profile
Fuck Everything, We're Doing Five Blades
« Reply #5 on: September 15, 2005, 07:43:34 pm »
From here on Gillette will only develop and maket razors where the number of blades is the next higher prime number.
Logged

Doc

  • Growing Cucumbers of Impressive Dimensions
  • Writer's Workshoppers
  • Philippe is standing on it.
  • *
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 1408
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 5017
  • an emergency backup pug
    • View Profile
Fuck Everything, We're Doing Five Blades
« Reply #6 on: September 26, 2005, 03:58:52 pm »
I would totally buy the Gillette Death Razor.

Also I always get into arguments with my brother on electric vs. non electric, any preferences here?

ok maybe only we discussed it once and parted on good terms.
Logged
Inev: 'A lot of things are ridiculous if you think about them long enough, you know?'

CortJstr

  • Moderator
  • Philippe is standing on it
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 338
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 9820
  • Which gives us AN EXCUSE TO DRINK!
    • View Profile
Fuck Everything, We're Doing Five Blades
« Reply #7 on: September 26, 2005, 05:00:06 pm »
I don't get as close a shave with electric but I use it anyway for three reasons: I'm lazy and electrics are faster, I have sensitive skin, I have pretty thick beard. So whenever I use a regular razor it takes like 15 minutes and leaves me with razor burn, especially on the corners of my chin.
Logged

miles

  • Stinkfist
  • VIP
  • Ocular Shenanigans
  • *
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 10030
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 3476
    • View Profile
    • Last.fm
Fuck Everything, We're Doing Five Blades
« Reply #8 on: September 26, 2005, 05:38:23 pm »
Quote from: "CortJstr"
I don't get as close a shave with electric but I use it anyway for three reasons: I'm lazy and electrics are faster, I have sensitive skin, I have pretty thick beard. So whenever I use a regular razor it takes like 15 minutes and leaves me with razor burn, especially on the corners of my chin.


I use a regular razor because I have sensitive skin.  The electric ones tear me up.
Logged
Order is indeed the dream of man, but chaos, which is only another word for dumb, blind, witless chance, is still the law of nature. - Wallace Stegner

slink

  • Moderator
  • Ocular Shenanigans
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 47
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 3051
  • Слінк Ядранко
    • View Profile
    • OMD on MySpace
Fuck Everything, We're Doing Five Blades
« Reply #9 on: September 26, 2005, 09:13:32 pm »
I did try to switch over to electric, but it did do worse shit to my face. So I use a three blade razor, just 'cause it is nicer to my face than Bic disposables.

p.s. I hate shaving!
Logged
FOOD CHAIN! GET USED TO IT!

Doc

  • Growing Cucumbers of Impressive Dimensions
  • Writer's Workshoppers
  • Philippe is standing on it.
  • *
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 1408
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 5017
  • an emergency backup pug
    • View Profile
Fuck Everything, We're Doing Five Blades
« Reply #10 on: September 27, 2005, 02:03:43 pm »
I used to use an electric and then switched to a 3 blade because I thought it gave me a better shave (also because I suddenly realised one lunch I was meeting the girlfriends parents and had to shave by the time I left uni) mainly I was asking just to make sure I'm not crazy.
Using it for a better shave is way hypocritical of me though as I shave maybe twice a week normally.
Logged
Inev: 'A lot of things are ridiculous if you think about them long enough, you know?'

arkabee

  • VIP
  • -=Ray=-
  • *
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 153
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 1280
  • i still hate the new forum software.
    • View Profile
Fuck Everything, We're Doing Five Blades
« Reply #11 on: September 27, 2005, 05:54:22 pm »
Quote from: "Doc"

Using it for a better shave is way hypocritical of me though as I shave maybe twice a week normally.


nani-oh?

i try to shave as rarely as possible, but when i do i want as close a shave as possible, i want to shave my insides i want as close a shave as possible.
Logged
"God forbid I'd ever be separated from my Duran Duran for a single minute!"
-August West
"Maybe Hanson or the Jonas Brothers might finally lose their shit one day."
-Nabubrush

CortJstr

  • Moderator
  • Philippe is standing on it
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 338
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 9820
  • Which gives us AN EXCUSE TO DRINK!
    • View Profile
Fuck Everything, We're Doing Five Blades
« Reply #12 on: September 27, 2005, 06:34:29 pm »
Twice a week? Damn. If I skip one day it's obvious to everybody. If I skip 2 then I need to bust out the clippers and trim down before I can shave.
Logged

Choop

  • Mod Squad
  • LAZARUS, Tasseled Loafer of the Powerful
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 1010
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 4260
  • www dot at rick and morty dot com www
    • View Profile
Fuck Everything, We're Doing Five Blades
« Reply #13 on: September 27, 2005, 08:28:48 pm »
I shave like every other week, unless I'm feeling particularly ambivalent.

It pretty much only grows in where I keep it grown in anyway (the goatee) but I have a nasty patch on my neck that I have to trim down every once in a while. My cheeks, the hair there is none.
Logged
Nobody exists on purpose; nobody belongs anywhere; everybody's gonna die. Come watch TV?

slink

  • Moderator
  • Ocular Shenanigans
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 47
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 3051
  • Слінк Ядранко
    • View Profile
    • OMD on MySpace
Fuck Everything, We're Doing Five Blades
« Reply #14 on: September 30, 2005, 07:11:06 pm »
Quote from: "CortJstr"
Twice a week? Damn. If I skip one day it's obvious to everybody.


That doesn't stop me. From... you know... not shaving...
Generally I will shave every other day if I am going out, and then not bother over the weekend.
Logged
FOOD CHAIN! GET USED TO IT!

Pages: [1]   Go Up
« previous next »