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Author Topic: Canadian University Lightbulb Jokes  (Read 10803 times)

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Limmo

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Canadian University Lightbulb Jokes
« on: October 10, 2005, 05:05:27 pm »
For our friends up north.  

How many Queen's students does it take to change a lightbulb?
1, but it never really gets done. He holds the bulb up and waits for the world to revolve around him.

How many Ryerson students does it take to change a lightbulb?
Trick question. Ryerson isn't a real university.

How many Lakehead students does it take to change a lightbulb?
None. Thunder Bay doesn't have electricity.

How many U of T students does it take to change a lightbulb?
2. One to change the lightbulb and one to crack under the pressure.

How many Algonquin students does it take to change a lightbulb?
Only 1. But he gets 6 credits for it.

How many Laurentian students does it take to change a lightbulb?
None. Sudbury looks better in the dark.

How many Waterloo students does it take to change a lightbulb?
5. One to design a nuclear-powered one that never needs changing, one to figure out How to power the rest of Waterloo using that nuclear-lightbulb, two to install it, and one to write the computer program that controls the wall switch.

How many Western students does it to change a lightbulb?
5. One to change the lightbulb and four to find the perfect JCREW outfit to wear for the occasion.

How many McMaster students does it take to change a lightbulb?
2. One to change the bulb and the other to say loudly How he did it as well as any Queen's student.

How many Carleton students does it take to change a lightbulb?
2. One to change the bulb and one to complain about How, if they were at a better school, the lightbulb wouldn't go out

How many McGill students does it take to change a lightbulb?
1. But SHE can't do it on Friday night.

How many Brock students does it take to change a lightbulb?
7. One to change the bulb and six to throw a party because he didn't screw it in upside down this time.

How many Guelph students does it take to change a lightbulb?
7. One to screw it in and 6 to figure out How to power it on manure.

How many Mt.Allison students does it take to change a lightbulb?
5. One to do it and 4 to be in the Macleans photo of it.

How many UVic students does it take to change a lightbulb?
None. Llava lamps don't burn out man!

How many UBC students does it take to change a lightbulb?
4. One to do it and three to translate the instructions.

How many Laurier students does it take to change a lightbulb?
All of them. They make it a campus affair.

How many University of Manitoba students does it take to change a lightbulb?
There's a university in Manitoba?

How many York University students does it take to change a lightbulb?
3. One to take directions from the science student, the science student and one to philosophise about life as a lightbulb.

How many University of Ottawa students does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
1. She screws everything why not a light bulb?
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jough

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Canadian University Lightbulb Jokes
« Reply #1 on: October 10, 2005, 05:12:12 pm »
Canadia has universities?

Man, you learn something every day.
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andalucia

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Re: Canadian University Lightbulb Jokes
« Reply #2 on: October 10, 2005, 06:24:55 pm »
Quote from: "Limmo"
How many McGill students does it take to change a lightbulb?
1. But SHE can't do it on Friday night.


Can someone explain the joke about my school to me?
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arkabee

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Re: Canadian University Lightbulb Jokes
« Reply #3 on: October 10, 2005, 06:27:56 pm »
Quote from: "andalucia"
Quote from: "Limmo"
How many McGill students does it take to change a lightbulb?
1. But SHE can't do it on Friday night.


Can someone explain the joke about my school to me?


McGill is a girl's school populated with women who wouldn't go out with the author of the jokes on a friday night?
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Re: Canadian University Lightbulb Jokes
« Reply #4 on: October 10, 2005, 06:29:49 pm »
Quote from: "arkabee"
McGill is a girl's school populated with women who wouldn't go out with the author of the jokes on a friday night?

Because they're all lesbians and that's the night they get together and wash each others hair?

~Paul
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AlohaDawg

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Canadian University Lightbulb Jokes
« Reply #5 on: October 10, 2005, 06:33:49 pm »
Girls at McGill don't get jokes?
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andalucia

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Canadian University Lightbulb Jokes
« Reply #6 on: October 10, 2005, 06:45:12 pm »
I guess, it just seems like there's a lot more that you could make fun of McGill for.  

Some of the other ones are pretty funny, although making fun of, say, Algonquin, is not unlike shooting giraffe in a barrel.  I don't think it's technically a university, since I once dated a guy who was going there to learn to be a cop, and another girl I know is going there to learn how to be a whitewater rafting instructor.

I also don't think Ottawa U is especially sleazy so much as they ran out of jokes, and college students generally tend to get laid a lot, so it's fairly probable that this also applies to students at Ottawa.
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CortJstr

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Canadian University Lightbulb Jokes
« Reply #7 on: October 10, 2005, 07:46:43 pm »
I know I've heard almost every one of those applied to Virginia schools so I'm going with the "randomly picking schools to fill up all the slots" theory.

Also, how many Mary Washington students does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
All of them. It's the most exciting thing to do in Fredricksburg.
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V-Adore

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Canadian University Lightbulb Jokes
« Reply #8 on: October 10, 2005, 07:48:12 pm »
The "one; s/he stands still and the world revolves around him/her" joke I have seen applied to sopranos, flute players, and trumpet players. (In all cases, relatively accurately, but nonetheless...)
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Canadian University Lightbulb Jokes
« Reply #9 on: October 10, 2005, 08:22:04 pm »
Oh dear. This is going to make my mother, and the next conference (it's a person!) very happy...
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CortJstr

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Canadian University Lightbulb Jokes
« Reply #10 on: October 10, 2005, 08:34:07 pm »
Quote from: "V-Adore"
The "one; s/he stands still and the world revolves around him/her" joke I have seen applied to sopranos, flute players, and trumpet players. (In all cases, relatively accurately, but nonetheless...)

When I was at UVa that was the one applied to us. Internally we used "4, one to screw it in and 3 to say how much better he did it than a Berkely student"
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Ben-San

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Canadian University Lightbulb Jokes
« Reply #11 on: October 10, 2005, 08:42:03 pm »
Quote from: "V-Adore"
The "one; s/he stands still and the world revolves around him/her" joke I have seen applied to sopranos, flute players, and trumpet players. (In all cases, relatively accurately, but nonetheless...)


Hey, why did the soprano spend all day standing on the doorstep?
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V-Adore

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Canadian University Lightbulb Jokes
« Reply #12 on: October 10, 2005, 09:02:02 pm »
Quote from: "Ben-San"
Quote from: "V-Adore"
The "one; s/he stands still and the world revolves around him/her" joke I have seen applied to sopranos, flute players, and trumpet players. (In all cases, relatively accurately, but nonetheless...)


Hey, why did the soprano spend all day standing on the doorstep?

She couldn't find the key and didn't know when to come in?

Of course, you know why all the soprano jokes are one-liners.
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Bozack

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Canadian University Lightbulb Jokes
« Reply #13 on: October 11, 2005, 12:51:29 am »
So tenors can understand them?

This is a joke that has been factually confirmed for me by several knowing personages:

How many teen Unitarians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
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AugustWest

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Canadian University Lightbulb Jokes
« Reply #14 on: October 11, 2005, 05:24:07 am »
Quote from: "Bozack"
How many teen Unitarians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?


Two, but we can't figure out how they got in there.
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