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Author Topic: Pravda Declares End of World Nigh  (Read 9363 times)

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Bobby Isosceles

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Pravda Declares End of World Nigh
« on: October 18, 2005, 02:20:17 pm »
With typical Russian efficiency, we see this gem:

Quote from: "Pravda"

The world rotates round its axis. This fact does not seem to cause any fear or worry. However, the dangers are lurking about every bend. This rotation system is not mechanically stable as tones of snow fall on the continental platform of Greenland and Antarctica every year. This snow forms a so-called icy dumbbell the, which increases in size every year. This is where the danger is lurking. It is well-known that the rotating dumbbell tends to hold a posture that is perpendicular to the axis of rotation. When the weight of this icy dumbbell reaches its critical point, the thin stone membrane floating on the scorching Earth's surface will start moving. While the planet will maintain its orientation in space there will be variation in altitude of the poles both magnetic and geographic. This is accompanied by significant deformations of the Earth surface as the rotation influences the shape of the Earth. If the Earth did not rotate it would be a perfect sphere. It does rotate, though. That is why any dumbbell or a sphere located on its surface is additionally affected by centrifugal force. Under this force this sphere will roll to the equator and finally stop at it. The equator is 40 thousand kilometers long, so it makes a complete turn in 24 hours (86400 seconds). Each point of the equator rotates at the speed of 463 meters per second. Thus, any solid body that starts moving from the pole gains the speed of the bullet at the equator.


...


Therefore, gravitation that affects each of its molecules decreases, whereas by contrast centrifugal force increases. This means that in the end this spherical object will gain the mentioned speed of 463 meters per second! Imagine, what kind of danger is hiding in the mountain glaciers of Greenland and Antarctica!


YES IMAGINE!
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Carlos del Vaca

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Pravda Declares End of World Nigh
« Reply #1 on: October 18, 2005, 04:14:17 pm »
Bird flu, peak oil, global warming... now I gotta worry about the earth falling off its axis?  Oh for fuck's sake.
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Mantonio

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Pravda Declares End of World Nigh
« Reply #2 on: October 18, 2005, 05:34:48 pm »
Quote from: "carlosdelvaca"
Bird flu, peak oil, global warming... now I gotta worry about the earth falling off its axis?  Oh for fuck's sake.


You left out loose nukes on the black market.
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AlohaDawg

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Pravda Declares End of World Nigh
« Reply #3 on: October 18, 2005, 08:40:55 pm »
I think Global Warming balances out the 'tones of snow' dumbell effect. Nature in action.
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Golfhaus

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Pravda Declares End of World Nigh
« Reply #4 on: October 18, 2005, 09:02:08 pm »
My first thought to this was, "Christ, those fucks really NEED to concentrate on their fashions and leave this kind of shit to the scientists."

Then I realized that I'd gotten them confused with Prada. Again.
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Imperator Severn

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Pravda Declares End of World Nigh
« Reply #5 on: October 18, 2005, 09:35:27 pm »
Remember, PraVda has a "V" for "Vladimir."


What I'm really worried about is how much fatter people in the US are getting.  Unless the Australians start packing in the pounds soon, we'll overweight the northern hemisphere!  CATASTROPHIC.
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Bobby Isosceles

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Pravda Declares End of World Nigh
« Reply #6 on: October 18, 2005, 10:02:03 pm »
Quote from: "Imperator Severn"
Remember, PraVda has a "V" for "Vladimir."



Just any old excuse to plug my whiteboard doodle of lenin, or marx, or castro, or someone:

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Imperator Severn

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Pravda Declares End of World Nigh
« Reply #7 on: October 18, 2005, 10:17:39 pm »
Basically anyone with a beard and crazy eyebrows.
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Mueran todos los reyes.

Bozack

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Pravda Declares End of World Nigh
« Reply #8 on: October 18, 2005, 10:44:26 pm »
David the GNOME?
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AlohaDawg

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Pravda Declares End of World Nigh
« Reply #9 on: October 18, 2005, 10:51:02 pm »
I'm thinking Rasputin.
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Mantonio

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Pravda Declares End of World Nigh
« Reply #10 on: October 18, 2005, 11:14:22 pm »
Quote from: "AlohaDawg"
I'm thinking Rasputin.


Yea, Lenin's beard was smaller and pointier...

LIKE THE DEVIL'S!

friggin' godless commie
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CortJstr

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Pravda Declares End of World Nigh
« Reply #11 on: October 19, 2005, 12:25:34 am »
Quote from: "Imperator Severn"
What I'm really worried about is how much fatter people in the US are getting.  Unless the Australians start packing in the pounds soon, we'll overweight the northern hemisphere!  CATASTROPHIC.

This reminds me of the question of what would happen if ever person in China jumped at the same time. Would the planet be thrown off its axis?
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AugustWest

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Pravda Declares End of World Nigh
« Reply #12 on: October 19, 2005, 01:01:12 am »
Quote from: "CortJstr"
Quote from: "Imperator Severn"
What I'm really worried about is how much fatter people in the US are getting.  Unless the Australians start packing in the pounds soon, we'll overweight the northern hemisphere!  CATASTROPHIC.

This reminds me of the question of what would happen if ever person in China jumped at the same time. Would the planet be thrown off its axis?


Uncle Cecil already answered this.
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V-Adore

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Pravda Declares End of World Nigh
« Reply #13 on: October 19, 2005, 01:19:09 am »
Quote from: "AugustWest"
Quote from: "CortJstr"
Quote from: "Imperator Severn"
What I'm really worried about is how much fatter people in the US are getting.  Unless the Australians start packing in the pounds soon, we'll overweight the northern hemisphere!  CATASTROPHIC.

This reminds me of the question of what would happen if ever person in China jumped at the same time. Would the planet be thrown off its axis?


Uncle Cecil already answered this.

That response made Uncle Cecil my hero.

Anyway, the apocalypse sure as hell ain't coming. And if it is, hey, I get out of grad school.
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CortJstr

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Pravda Declares End of World Nigh
« Reply #14 on: October 19, 2005, 02:15:41 am »
Quote from: "AugustWest"
Quote from: "CortJstr"
This reminds me of the question of what would happen if ever person in China jumped at the same time. Would the planet be thrown off its axis?

Uncle Cecil already answered this.

That's actually where I found this several years ago. I'm not creative enough to come up with a question like that on my own.
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