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Yes, with a paunch of at least Ray-esque proportions.

1 (9.1%)

No, the man who posts my comic is svelte as the dickens.

3 (27.3%)

This speculation is cruel and irrelevant to his genius.

7 (63.6%)

Total Members Voted: 10

Voting closed: October 23, 2005, 05:47:49 am

[AlohaDawg]

That's very sad.  Some day, I hope you have bigger balls.

why?

So she can post a poll about your ball size that will be as intellectually towering as the one about Onstad's waist size.

Kai: Don't mess with KevBob. Mr. Toof, as you could see if you read the other thousands of threads on this board, has got it going on in the brains department. All you have to show for yourself is speculation as to whether Chris O. can buy belts that are made from one piece of leather or not.

[wombat]

they also made me realize that she, as an artist, like most artists, isn't a genuis, just good at seeing interesting details and telling stories.

Hey, but what's wrong with that, if you thought the end product was brilliant? How is that not genius?

[Kai]

All you have to show for yourself is speculation as to whether Chris O. can buy belts that are made from one piece of leather or not.

Okay, imagine a cow.  

The cow weighs seventeen hundred pounds.

Imagine her circumfrence.

Now imagine putting this cow into a machine such as the type which cores, peels, and slices apples for pies.  

Remove the slicer attachment.

Peel the cow.

You will have a belt large enough for Paul Bunyan.

And no doubt large enough for Chris Onstad, even if he's so grotesquely obese as to eclipse any two contributors to this message board.

How's that for throbbing, awe-inspiring, arkabee-esque 'brain power'?

[pmcd9]

You are not endearing yourself to this board Kai.

~Paul

[V-Adore]

Don't make me start giving out Onion Offenses, here.

[AugustWest]

I think Chris Onstad has a c*ck that is 3 million miles long, but most of it is in the 18th dimension.

And Gina can take every inch of it.

[jough]

I think Chris Onstad has a c*ck that is 3 million miles long, but most of it is in the 18th dimension.

And Gina can take every inch of it.

With room to spare.

[misterqueue]

The thing I wonder is... why in the hell would someone join to ask this question?

But then that made me ask why the hell *I* joined.

Then I got sort of sad and ate a whole tub of Edy's and now I'm almost as fat as this mythical Onstad everyone's gabbing about.

[pmcd9]

That reminds me of a joke.  Didja ever hear about the fella who was going down on his girlfriend and exclaimed "Damn you've got a big pussy, damn you've got a big pussy."  She said "You didn't have to say it twice," to which he replied "I didn't, I didn't."

Do you get it?  You see, her pussy is so big it's like shouting in a cave.

~Paul

[pmcd9]

Onstad is so fat he doesn't have six pack abs he has a keg.

~Paul

[robot_roll_call]

That reminds me of a joke.  Didja ever hear about the fella who was going down on his girlfriend and exclaimed "Damn you've got a big pussy, damn you've got a big pussy."  She said "You didn't have to say it twice," to which he replied "I didn't, I didn't."

Do you get it?  You see, her pussy is so big it's like shouting in a cave.

~Paul

What a coincidence, I just watched Predator last night.

Anyways, I like the mystery-man person Onstad has going for himself. As others have said, the more you know about the author, the less his work speaks for itself. Sometimes, as far as historically or culturally important things go, it IS good to get some context by learning more about the author and his Circumstances. But since Achewood is just a comic where a cat tucks his friend's genitals into a toliet paper tube, I don't think it's important to know more about the Big O than we already do.

Also, let's take the example of showing what you really look like from Gabe and Tycho of Penny Arcade Yeah. Thought so.

[V-Adore]

Onstad is so fat he doesn't have six pack abs he has a keg.

~Paul

A keg of Rainier Beer?

[side_show]

'God, yeah, I just really don't care at all - what he's like, what he looks like, if it's boxers or briefs.  I have no interest in speculating.'

Yeah right.

You know what buddy, I put up a well supported post as to why I do not care at all to meet the man or know more about him.  I've had plenty of opportunities to meet writers whose work I deeply respect in my day, and every time I've turned down the opportunity - but really, why should I have to defend my point of view?  I'm sorry you're so close minded that you can't imagine someone thinging in a way different from the way your brain works.  

You have been pointlessly rude and disrespectful in the first ever thread you posted in - congradulations, you've been noticed for all the wrong reasons.  Yay for you.

[AugustWest]

The thing I wonder is... why in the hell would someone join to ask this question?

But then that made me ask why the hell *I* joined.

Then I got sort of sad and ate a whole tub of Edy's and now I'm almost as fat as this mythical Onstad everyone's gabbing about.

Fuck you, I bet I'm fatter.

And I got fat on Vodka and Oysters, you fuck*ng punks.

[AlohaDawg]

All you have to show for yourself is speculation as to whether Chris O. can buy belts that are made from one piece of leather or not.

Okay, imagine a cow.  

The cow weighs seventeen hundred pounds.

Imagine her circumfrence.

Now imagine putting this cow into a machine such as the type which cores, peels, and slices apples for pies.  

Remove the slicer attachment.

Peel the cow.

You will have a belt large enough for Paul Bunyan.

And no doubt large enough for Chris Onstad, even if he's so grotesquely obese as to eclipse any two contributors to this message board.

How's that for throbbing, awe-inspiring, arkabee-esque 'brain power'?

I think what I would do is make the belt the other way around (chest and sides, not over-the-spine) and put the buckle where her asshole is. But that is just me.