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Author Topic: Feline built into wall of house; don't worry, it's okay  (Read 5271 times)

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Bobby Isosceles

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Feline built into wall of house; don't worry, it's okay
« on: October 27, 2005, 04:06:42 pm »
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aparrish

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Feline built into wall of house; don't worry, it's okay
« Reply #1 on: October 27, 2005, 04:21:29 pm »
Those fools!  The cat must have been walled up for a reason.  They've doubtlessly unleashed the re-incarnated soul of the serial murderer who brutally murdered dozens on that VERY REAL ESTATE fifty years ago.

I think we've just witnessed the beginning of a horror movie.  (cf. The Tenant)
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Bobby Isosceles

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Feline built into wall of house; don't worry, it's okay
« Reply #2 on: October 27, 2005, 04:53:08 pm »
Quote from: "aparrish"
Those fools!  The cat must have been walled up for a reason.  They've doubtlessly unleashed the re-incarnated soul of the serial murderer who brutally murdered dozens on that VERY REAL ESTATE fifty years ago.

I think we've just witnessed the beginning of a horror movie.  (cf. The Tenant)




(EXT shot of house)
IN A WORLD
(shot of cat being found and picked up by young girl)
where nine lives isn't enough
(shot of cat's eyes glowing red when no one is looking)
ONE FAMILY WILL FIND OUT ...

(jungle drums; text whooshes on screen)
CURIOSITY
(whoosh; shot of cat slashing at the camera)
DIDN'T
(whoosh; shot of screaming mother)
KILL
(whoosh; shot of father cocking a shotgun)
THE CAT!
(shot of unidentified body hanging from the ceiling, swinging with a creaking sound and dripping in blood and with clothes shredded; a dingle ball hangs from its lifeless foot; cut to black screen with ominous hissing)
COMING FALL 2005
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misterqueue

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Feline built into wall of house; don't worry, it's okay
« Reply #3 on: October 27, 2005, 08:10:13 pm »
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So it's satire, is it?  Well that changes everything!

Lockjaw is serious times.

Bozack

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Feline built into wall of house; don't worry, it's okay
« Reply #4 on: October 28, 2005, 03:20:27 am »
Damn! Poe'Jestrd!
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Hey, things are going okay now!

aparrish

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Feline built into wall of house; don't worry, it's okay
« Reply #5 on: October 28, 2005, 03:09:33 pm »
Wow, I like how this movie is both "based on true events" and "inspired by a short story by Edgar Allen Poe."  I think it could work.  Somebody call M. Night Shyamalan or something.
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Beatrice

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Feline built into wall of house; don't worry, it's okay
« Reply #6 on: November 24, 2005, 05:34:37 pm »
My weird new boss at this ice cream/breakfast/sandwich shop place showed me how to make muffins on my first day at work.  Not that I didn't already know how, but he showed me that you only spray the bottom of the tins because "the muffins need traction.  They need to be able to climb out and crawl up on the sides...  You know, I think Edgar Allen Poe wrote a short story about that."

???  

I'm not sure how long I can be employed by a crazy person.
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andalucia

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Feline built into wall of house; don't worry, it's okay
« Reply #7 on: November 24, 2005, 06:14:00 pm »
You know, I think there is just something about people who make muffins for a living that turns them Wrong.  I would recommend you get out now.
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AlohaDawg

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Feline built into wall of house; don't worry, it's okay
« Reply #8 on: November 25, 2005, 06:21:32 pm »
Frank Zappa sang about a slightly deranged mad scientist muffin man. I think you may have something there.
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misterqueue

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Feline built into wall of house; don't worry, it's okay
« Reply #9 on: November 25, 2005, 08:36:28 pm »
Quote from: "Beatrice"
Incriminating things


Are you mocking my poejstr'ing?

Cause if you are... *shakes fist*
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So it's satire, is it?  Well that changes everything!

Lockjaw is serious times.

antioch

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Feline built into wall of house; don't worry, it's okay
« Reply #10 on: November 26, 2005, 01:30:32 am »
Quote from: "Imprudent carpenter"
"Poor little thing. So sorry we built you into the house"


That concludes today's edition of...

Seldom Heard Apologies
TM, Rupert Murdoch 2005
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pmcd9

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Feline built into wall of house; don't worry, it's okay
« Reply #11 on: November 26, 2005, 04:22:48 am »
Quote from: "aparrish"
Somebody call M. Night Shyamalan or something.

Saw a preview for the next M. Night Shyamalan flick.  Looks interesting.  Starring Paul Giamatti playing a lonely guy living in a pool house and involves a mysterious phantom swimmer.

~Paul
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miles

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Feline built into wall of house; don't worry, it's okay
« Reply #12 on: November 26, 2005, 08:30:00 am »
Quote from: "pmcd9"
Quote from: "aparrish"
Somebody call M. Night Shyamalan or something.

Saw a preview for the next M. Night Shyamalan flick.  Looks interesting.  Starring Paul Giamatti playing a lonely guy living in a pool house and involves a mysterious phantom swimmer.


I saw it too (Harry Potter?).  After The Village, I'm skeptical.  I didn't see Signs but liked Unbreakable.  But, man, I hate The Villiage.

But I love Paul Giamatti.
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Order is indeed the dream of man, but chaos, which is only another word for dumb, blind, witless chance, is still the law of nature. - Wallace Stegner

side_show

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Feline built into wall of house; don't worry, it's okay
« Reply #13 on: November 26, 2005, 02:55:33 pm »
Quote from: "pmcd9"
Saw a preview for the next M. Night Shyamalan flick.  Looks interesting.  Starring Paul Giamatti playing a lonely guy living in a pool house and involves a mysterious phantom swimmer./quote]

...where, in a suprise twist, the mysterious swimmer turns out to be the living inhabitant of the pool house, and Giamattie turns out to be the ghost that haunts it!

I kid, but just watch - you know it's gonna be something like that.  Who knows, maybe I even called it.

Yeah, when I saw the Village, I was all like, why did M. Night Shymalan make a movie about Mennonites?  Also, there have been rampant rumours that Shymalan stole this story from the Margaret Peterson Haddix children's book "Running out of Time."  Still, I don't know if I agree that the story was stolen, and am more likely to believe that we all have a fear of going into the woods (or being chased by something scary) long imprinted into our collective unconciousness from years of evolution, and that films like the Blair Witch Project, The Village and countless other horror films that have people running through the woods with something chasing them just tap into that.
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pmcd9

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Feline built into wall of house; don't worry, it's okay
« Reply #14 on: November 26, 2005, 03:19:41 pm »
Quote from: "miles"
Quote from: "pmcd9"
Quote from: "aparrish"
Somebody call M. Night Shyamalan or something.

Saw a preview for the next M. Night Shyamalan flick.  Looks interesting.  Starring Paul Giamatti playing a lonely guy living in a pool house and involves a mysterious phantom swimmer.


I saw it too (Harry Potter?).  After The Village, I'm skeptical.  I didn't see Signs but liked Unbreakable.  But, man, I hate The Villiage.

But I love Paul Giamatti.


Hey i'm with you on this one.  Very conflicted.    I loved Ths Sixth Sense and Unbreakable, Signs however was ridiculous and I didn't even bother to watch The Village.  But whereas I could tell from the preview that The Village was gonna suck, this one looks interesting and Paul Giamatti is great.
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