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[wombat]

Then if they don't ask me about the fake thing I know they haven't even read the resume.

Oh, this is rad.  And I thought I was clever putting joke entries in the index to my dissertation.

Isn't it weird that people do that?  Interview you without knowing what's in your resume?  I'll never understand it.

[side_show]

My whole inspiration behind posting this thread is that I am currently working with my boss to hire a new theatre school vice principal, and spent over two days solid going through resumes.  Some of them were so obviously padded, it was a joke.  More interesting is that many of the men who were applying sent in head shots or even a couple of photo portfolios, which is deeply confusing since this is an admin job.  "Hey buddy, I don't give a fuck what your face looks like, but if I did, this picture ain't selling it!"

[V-Adore]

On the subject of "fear of falling": oh yes. I don't fear planes, high floors on buildings, or any other situation where I'm obviously enclosed and safe, but anything with a ladder or a railing and I'm dead. (Escalators are okay unless they're really steep.) That Grand Canyon Skyway squirmifies me.

On lying: does lying to your prof count? Because I've definitely used "I was sick"/"I had a commitment" instead of "I just kind of forgot I had lab today." (Admittedly, the one time when this was really egregious -- twenty minutes late to a fifty-minute discussion section -- my explanation was true, but still.)

[miles]

I am somewhat scared of heights, but I like to push myself a bit.  I've been bungee jumping before, and it was great.  I don't know if I'd try skydiving, but I'd try lots of other things, and I think the skybridge would be delightful(ly terrifying).

On lying: does lying to your prof count? Because I've definitely used "I was sick"/"I had a commitment" instead of "I just kind of forgot I had lab today." (Admittedly, the one time when this was really egregious -- twenty minutes late to a fifty-minute discussion section -- my explanation was true, but still.)

I have done this more often than lying to bosses, yes.  I figure, you know, I'm fuck*ng paying you guys, so it's OK to lie every once in a while.

[wombat]

This example shows that sometimes lying is the right thing to do. Speaking as a former professor, I definitely would have wanted my students to have the good sense to make something up rather than saying "I kind of forgot I had lab today."

[Lister]

I am a strategic liar.  I build up credibility for The Big Lie.

Any lies I tell are generally on the social level, like saying "Hi" when I mean "Go to hell, you worthless prick."  Stuff that's expected, you know.  I try to own up specifically in cases where most people would lie, just to build up the impression that I'm honest.  In most cases it just isn't a big deal if I'm five minutes late, so why bother?

Then, when I need it, I have The Big Lie.  My best use of it so far was in my senior year in college, when I set up a professor who I'd had for several A's previously.  Half of our final grade was a huge pain in the ass paper, and I just didn't get it done before it was due.  I ran into the professor somewhere on campus a few hours before the deadline, asked him when he'd be in the office, etc.  I dropped by his office later and engaged in conversation but didn't actually turn anything in.  I went home for the weekend, finished the paper by Monday, back-dated the file just in case, and went about life as normal.

After a few days the professor saw me in the hall and asked if I'd turned in a paper.  I told him I had, and referenced the conversation we'd had in his office.  He said he'd look for it again.  Friday, a week after the due date, he said he couldn't find it and asked for a new copy, which I provided later that day.  All in all, I got a week extra to work on it (even though it only needed a few more days), and an A, because I'd set him up to believe I was honest and acted consistently.

Whether he actually believed me or not was immaterial, because he had no reason to suspect me (and also I hid a duplicate copy of my paper in his office, later).

I do have a phobia related to falling, though escalators aren't a problem.  Looking at that horror bridge at the Grand Canyon made my palms sweat.  Yerg.

[miles]

Lister:  wow.  You are my hero.

[wombat]

Lister:  Now that is evil and wrong.  

Also more to the point it's much more risky.  If someone's found out in the lie about why they were late to lab, I think it would be no big deal.  But if someone had somehow found you out, well, they would have thought it was evil and wrong and the consequences would be worse.

[V-Adore]

Yeah, the only problem with Big Lies is that they're much riskier than little lies; like Wombat said, most profs don't care about why you were late to class or lab as long as it doesn't become a chronic problem, but all but one prof I have known would roast you over the coals for lying to their faces about having turned in a final paper. (The only one I have had who wouldn't was also the kind of prof who just sort of let you turn in papers whenever, with no explanation expected, and even he would probably be peeved about the violation of trust.) Were I in that situation, I would be truthful and apologetic to the prof and make sure that the paper was exceptionally good.

That said, since you pulled it off: do they clang together when they walk, dude? Honestly.

[Lister]

Honestly, I'm not sure I could pull something like that off again.  At that period in my life I was basically depressed and didn't care.  Senior Blahs and stuff: I also got an incomplete that quarter for not going to my Statistics class.  I only went to five of my programming classes, too, but they were all the exams (though I did go to the wrong room for the final).

Fun with college!  Stuff that would get you fired so bad is forgiveable.

And no clanging, but they kinda chafe in hot weather.

[wombat]

(though I did go to the wrong room for the final).

Oooh, classic nightmare. Did you figure it out before you sat down to take the exam?  Had you forgotten to wear ##### too?

[Lister]

(though I did go to the wrong room for the final).

Oooh, classic nightmare. Did you figure it out before you sat down to take the exam?  Had you forgotten to wear ****** too?

I was wearing #####, but I didn't realize it was the wrong class until I actually looked at the test (It was FORTRAN or something; I'd been taking C).  I looked through it, turned pale, walked up, turned it in, and walked out.  Lots of people stared at me, too.  That was kind of neat.

I was lucky on two counts: first, that the exam schedule was posted in that building, and second, that I went earlier than my exam actually was.

You know, that quarter was really bad for me.

[antioch]

Ooooh, FORTRAN nightmare. That's stone cold. I'm expecting some frightening ADA hallucinations this spring.

[V-Adore]

Man, and I thought my anxiety dreams were bad. (Last night it was "I failed my Japanese 401 exam so badly that they made me return to Japanese 302, so I couldn't complete the major," and a few nights before that it was "Cornell has a cursory interview with me and rejects me immediately because they don't like the cut of my jib, or something." But Fortran? Eegah!)

[wombat]

OK, I had a dream last night about dropping a class and a protracted process trying to find a drop-add slip and get it signed.  I can only imagine it's the fault of reading you guys's posts since I am fifteen years out of school and several years out of being on the other side of the desk.

PS:  They still teach Fortran?