Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
Advanced search  

News:

Did you know...
That you can post photos to the TOUAMB Flickr Pool?

Pages: [1] 2   Go Down

Author Topic: Greetings from Birmingham  (Read 3209 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

AugustWest

  • Over Easy
  • Philosopher King
  • Dude since Knucklehead times
  • *
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 774
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 10549
  • Bulbous, also tapered.
    • View Profile
Greetings from Birmingham
« on: January 05, 2006, 11:33:29 pm »

Here I am in the middle of Alabama on a three and a half hour layover between flights.  This airport is just astoundingly airport-y.  Just like every other damn airport I've ever been to in my life.  Woot.

Anyhow, I'm fogey enough to think it's cool that I can surf the web hundreds of miles away from my home and without hooking wires to anything.  I know it's far from new technology anymore.  I know it's not a cure for cancer or a rocket car.  But it's cool, dammit!  Just like the phone the size of a Zippo that I carry.  It's so easy to be blase about this stuff once you're used to it, but 25 years ago (hell, 10 years ago) some of the tech things we take for granted would have made me shit my ****** in amazement.

Now if we could just find a way to eliminate fuck*ng layovers we'd be getting somewhere.
« Last Edit: January 06, 2006, 12:14:38 am by AugustWest »
Logged
Infinitely vast, infinitely detailed.

wombat

  • English-Speaking Pizza
  • Moderator
  • Dude since Knucklehead times
  • *
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 644
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 12493
  • Yeah man, these are pugs, not some fuck*ng lolcat.
    • View Profile
Re: Greetngs from Birmingham
« Reply #1 on: January 06, 2006, 12:08:39 am »

Easily amazed fogeys unite!  Isn't it charming that we are so easily impressed?  Heck, I can't get over the fact that I'm sitting in my own living room typing this - observe as I pass my hand above, below and to both sides of the computer with no hindrance -

 LOOK MA! NO WIRES.

And you - you are in an airport.  Gee whiz.  Seriously.
Logged
What is this, the fuckin' Algonquin Round Table or some shit?  - Nabu

If you're going to change your life then you have to change it every day, not just the days the world isn't taking a shit on you. -Doc

Hobo Frenzy

  • Showbiz
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 3
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 222
  • fuck*ng Moto Guzzi
    • View Profile
    • the best site in the universe
Re: Greetings from Birmingham
« Reply #2 on: January 06, 2006, 12:48:04 am »

While I'm not always amazed by this stuff, every once in a while I stop and think about it. That's when my head starts to spin. I think about all the little things that are going on inside a laptop and all the calculations that are happening. WOW! How did someone think this stuff up!?

And think about all the waves and info in the air around (and going through) you! Radio, Blue tooth, WiFi, Satellite stuff and WOW! Listen to that...that hum. DO you hear it? It's COSMIC RAYS!

exciting
Logged
Hey, what's this? Cursive?

AlohaDawg

  • Mod Squad
  • LAZARUS, Tasseled Loafer of the Powerful
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 79
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 4184
  • Crawlin' back to prosperity
    • View Profile
Re: Greetings from Birmingham
« Reply #3 on: January 06, 2006, 12:51:28 am »

My Grandfather was around before people generally used cars and airplanes. He died before the milennium turned over but I am sure it was an amazing and bewildering world to him. And he was what you would call an adopter back in the day - rode motorbikes in the 20s and flew, too.
Logged

Golfhaus

  • VIP
  • Onstad's Left Shoe
  • *
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 116
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 1625
  • He does not approve. Not at all.
    • View Profile
    • http://www.prolefeed.com
Re: Greetings from Birmingham
« Reply #4 on: January 06, 2006, 02:43:32 am »

And think about all the waves and info in the air around (and going through) you! Radio, Blue tooth, WiFi, Satellite stuff and WOW! Listen to that...that hum. DO you hear it? It's COSMIC RAYS!

I first had this thought when I was about 13. I asked for (and got) a shortwave radio for Christmas one year (because I was that kind of nerd). I also came down with the flu, so while the rest of the family bundled off for my mom's husband's mother's house, I was laying down on the spare sofa I kept in my bedroom, listening to the BBC World Service. And it amazed me that RADIO SIGNALS FROM ENGLAND could get to me that clearly over this little $90 box. I used to listen regularly to an Atlanta AM station that broadcast the Jim Ross Report when he was with the NWA/WCW on Sunday nights, and that was amazing too. I used to think, "How many radio signals are bouncing through the air around me right now?" Then I would think "Someday they're going to tell us radio waves cause cancer, and we're all totally hosed."
Logged

V-Adore

  • Guest
Re: Greetings from Birmingham
« Reply #5 on: January 06, 2006, 03:12:24 am »

I first had this thought when I was about 13. I asked for (and got) a shortwave radio for Christmas one year (because I was that kind of nerd). I also came down with the flu, so while the rest of the family bundled off for my mom's husband's mother's house, I was laying down on the spare sofa I kept in my bedroom, listening to the BBC World Service. And it amazed me that RADIO SIGNALS FROM ENGLAND could get to me that clearly over this little $90 box. I used to listen regularly to an Atlanta AM station that broadcast the Jim Ross Report when he was with the NWA/WCW on Sunday nights, and that was amazing too. I used to think, "How many radio signals are bouncing through the air around me right now?" Then I would think "Someday they're going to tell us radio waves cause cancer, and we're all totally hosed."

This reminds me of my gobsmacked amazement as an elementary-schooler when our Gifted/Talented teacher introduced us to one of his big hobbies... ham radio. That shit was mystical -- a huge, complicated box, and then somehow the voices of people from Brazil would emanate out of it, desperately seeking for some contact through the ether. When I was about six, I wanted to be a ham radio person more than anything in the world.

And just look at me now. If anyone had told me back then that one day there would be something just like ham radio but visually-focused, easier, clearer, and more useful, to the point that it would become an omnipresent part of life, and that I would use it to view and talk about comic strips... I think I might have died on the spot.
Logged

Lister

  • Teodor
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 101
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 892
  • 2, 4, 6, 8, time to transubstantiate!
    • View Profile
Re: Greetings from Birmingham
« Reply #6 on: January 06, 2006, 03:48:05 am »

First of all: ZOMG BIRMINGHAM IS WHERE I'M FROM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!oneeleven

But the airport is basically blah, yeah.  Not real crowded, though.

Secondly:  The first night I ever played a MUD, I took a moment to consider that I was sitting in Birmingham, Alabama, playing a game running on a server in Brisbane that was based on books written by a guy in England.  The people I was talking to were located in Singapore, Perth, Seattle, Capetown, and Stockholm.  And it was all "free."  That was pretty darn cool.

Every now and then I wonder how I could explain what I do (I'm in MMORPGs) to someone living 100 years ago.  How would you even begin to explain an online computer game to someone who hadn't even seen a movie or made a phone call?

And what the hell is going to happen in the next fifty years?  What will our grandchildren do in kindergarten that we haven't thought of yet?

And WHEN the HELL do I get my FLYING GOD DAMN CAR?
Logged
Lister.  Not that one, the other one.

pmcd9

  • Mod Squad
  • Dude since Knucklehead times
  • *
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 608
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 12778
  • The Kid is up to no good
    • View Profile
Re: Greetings from Birmingham
« Reply #7 on: January 06, 2006, 04:31:33 am »

I'm sitting in a hotel room in San Antonio typing on my new laptop.  Everytime I turn it on a dialog box pops up telling me it's detected a wireless network.  They also have a network cable so I am plugging in.  But I could be wireless right now if I wanted to take the time to set up my computer.  I'm assuming there is some setup involved.  Technology is wonderful, I plan to retire to a little condo on Mars.  If I last long enough i'd love to visit the moons of Jupiter.

~Paul
Logged
I hope I never have to refer to a scone in spoken conversation.

AlohaDawg

  • Mod Squad
  • LAZARUS, Tasseled Loafer of the Powerful
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 79
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 4184
  • Crawlin' back to prosperity
    • View Profile
Re: Greetings from Birmingham
« Reply #8 on: January 06, 2006, 04:48:25 am »

No, Paul - just go to Recall. They can give you any vacation you want.
Logged

jough

  • God's Own Dick
  • Administrator
  • Philippe is standing on it.
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 948
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 6871
  • If you've got the time, we've got El Guapo.
    • View Profile
    • poetry archives
Re: Greetings from Birmingham
« Reply #9 on: January 06, 2006, 05:07:52 am »

I was a ham radio operator when I was seven years old.  I got the second license too, which was Technician at the time (it's all different now) which allowed you to use the 2m band, which was shorter range but much cooler for an 8 year old boy to have an HT and talk to people via a local repeater.  I should've gotten the next licence, which was then called "General" - because then I could've gotten use of the 20m band which enables you to pretty much talk to anyone in the world on it since the waves are so big (yes, the wavelength is 20 meters).

Ham radio clubs used to have (and probably still do) annual "field day" which meant making your gear portable, running your rig off of a couple of car batteries and talking to people throughout the world while being completely self-contained.  It was a good annual dry run in case of disaster too. 

When hurricane Katrina knocked out all other communications, hams were there saving people's lives. 

For some reason I let my licence expire back in the 90s, which was stupid of me, since it only cost like $4 to renew and you didn't have to retake the test and were good for ten years after that.  Anyway, I haven't even touched a ham radio since I was 15 or so, so I'd be a little out of sorts anyway.

Besides, the internet is even more wondrous, although it's not as easily self-contained. 

I'm still geeking out with my newish PDA that has built-in WiFi to access the net from outside of McDonalds, Borders, or Starbucks (or anywhere else you can get a WiFi signal).  It's kind of awesome.

So I understand August's post.  I still share the wonders of geekery.  Wireless internet never gets old for me.

side_show

  • Sweet Fancy Moses
  • Mod Squad
  • Philippe is standing on it.
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 501
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Female
  • Posts: 6487
    • View Profile
Re: Greetings from Birmingham
« Reply #10 on: January 06, 2006, 09:13:33 am »

Oh my god Jough, you had a ham radio license?  And you make it sound just as cool as I imagined it would be.  I am thinking of myself as a lonely teen, all in love with Christian Slater in "Pump up the Volume."  I actually have a memory of kissing a poster of Christian Slater that I had on my bedroom wall.  Dude, I made out with a poster, not even of a decent celebrity, more than once...  and that is probably the saddest thing.  Cripplingly sad.  Oh, god that is so sad... Anyway - you had a ham radio.  That is interesting.

I'm sorry, I'm so tired and messed up from seeing the middle school bully of my nightmares on TV... I don't even know what I was talking about just then.

I need to take a shower, but something tells me I won't be feeling clean for days and days.

Yeah...

Anyway, the only reason you gave up your license is because people like us replaced your need for actual human voices.
Logged
Abuse of power comes as no surprise.

Golfhaus

  • VIP
  • Onstad's Left Shoe
  • *
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 116
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 1625
  • He does not approve. Not at all.
    • View Profile
    • http://www.prolefeed.com
Re: Greetings from Birmingham
« Reply #11 on: January 06, 2006, 02:05:31 pm »

Radio in its various forms is probably one of the oldest means of communication still being used that doesn't involve writing. It has, for the most part, been replaced by bigger, shinier, faster, more interactive things - the television and telephone, and along comes the Internet to trump all. And yet people like us still get fascinated by it. I wish I could place it. It's mystical, like V said.

Roger Taylor knew what the fuck he was talking about when he wrote that song.
Logged

AugustWest

  • Over Easy
  • Philosopher King
  • Dude since Knucklehead times
  • *
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 774
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 10549
  • Bulbous, also tapered.
    • View Profile
Re: Greetings from Birmingham
« Reply #12 on: January 06, 2006, 10:48:43 pm »

Ready for part II of this story.  Or the back story and how it turned out.  Or the rest of the story to get all Paul Harvey about it?

I drove my father to Orlando.  I did this because my mother's doctor didn't think the long drive would be good for her (she has blood clot issues) and because my Dad's eyesight is increasingly lousy.

So, I got myself out of bed Wednesday at 6:45, showered, shaved and trundled over to their house, ready to make the 18 hour or so journey.  We did it two days, not being incredible masochist nor having other pressing engagements. 

My Dad and I generally get along well.  We haven't always been especially close, but we're gotten moreso in the past few years.  99.9% of the time we are just fine.  But when we fight, brother, we FIGHT.  We got along perfectly on this trip -- that wasn't the source of what drama there was.  However, the possibility that I might have to spend two solid days locked in a tiny cube with someone with whom I furious yet could not punch had me slightly nervous.  Thankfully that wasn't a problem.

No problems until just after lunch.  We stopped about halfway between Birmingham and Montgomery (Alabama) for gas, at which point Dad noticed that the rear driver's side tire was utterly flat.  The friendly lady at the convenience story (everybody was very friendly in the deep South, even friendlier than they are here) told us there was a Wal-Mart at the exit we'd passed just 3 miles ago, so with the help of a can of Fix-a-Flat we limped back up I-65 and spent 45 minutes (quick!) getting our flat tire replaced (215 70R15).

Back on the road, to Dothan where we had some decent Barbeque for dinner at joint with friendly waitresses (or at least on friendly waitress who waited upon us.)  Then on into Florida to Tallahassee where we stayed at a La Quinta.  I watched the football game which was exciting.

Didn't sleep well, but I hadn't expected to as I never sleep well in hotel/motel/hostelries.

Now, I should explain the game plan a little here. Dad and I were driving down Wednesday and Thursday.  Mom was flying down Thursday morning, leaving the car (Dad's Prius) in the airport parking lot.  We would meet her at the Orlando Airport, they would drive to where they were staying and I would fly back to Louisville.  A lovely little plan.

The drive through Northwest Florida on Thursday morning was great.  I've never been in that part of the state, and the road we were on was almost empty.  Interesting scenery, easy driving.  It did take a little longer that we thought.  My flight left at 2:45.  We made it to Orlando Int'l at about 2:15.  So I was a little stressed.  Gave Mom a quick kiss, got the parking ticket for the Prius, made sure she found Dad and then hustled.  Turned out, it took about 30 seconds to get a boarding pass and no more than 3 minutes to get through security.  A quick monorail ride to the gate (They loves 'em some monorails in Orlando!)  and I was waiting in line for the first leg of my flight, to Birmingham.

Uneventful flight.  When I got there I called Mrs. West, checked in, let her know where I was, vented a little about the layover I mentioned in the OP.  I had something dreadfully overpriced to eat, then unpacked the laptop and settled down to a little Alpha Centauri.  I think I had just finished building the Citizens Defense Force when my phone rang.  It was Mrs. West. 

"Hey, how's everything?"  she asked.  She had that tone in her voice.

"Just fine," I said.

"Really?"

"Really.  As far as I know..."

"You didn't happen to forget anything in Florida, did you?"  That tone again.

"I don't think so.  I put all of my stuff in my briefcase..."  at that moment, comprehension dawned.  I knew what I'd forgot.

The keys to the Prius.  Mom had one set, Dad had the other.  I had none.

I said "Fuck" considerably louder than I am wont to do, at least in public places.  Then I started laughing. 

There followed a flurry of mobile calls between Dad, Mrs. West and his Toyota dealer.  My suggestion was that he just overnight the keys and we'd eat an extra day of parking, but no.  They were forced to run a security gauntlet several times fiercer than anything I saw that day.  Blessedly, I wasn't involved in this part of the project.  My phone battery was dying and I wanted to preserve as much juice as possible, so I got off the hook.

Remember that layover I was complaining about in the OP.  3 and a half hours.  I've had worse (8 hours in Newark once and I was flat broke.  Or two hours in Kansas City with a rampaging case of influenza).  Not the worst thing that I've ever had to face, but the plane was 45 minutes late, so that added insult to whatever injury there was.

I have to admit that the flight from Birmingham to Louisville was wonderful.  Only 45 minutes -- about half of what I'd expected.  And I got a front row seat on the side where the bulkhead is far away.  I could stretch my legs out.  And I was on the aisle, so I could raise the armrest and let my, uh, fundament expand.

Landed in Louisville, walked to the terminal and found my lovely family waiting for me.  That was very nice of them.  They could have just stuck the key under the mat and gone about their business.  But they wanted to see me.  They were in good spirits.  I was too, but rather tired.

We tromped over to the garage to the Prius (Mrs. West had managed to park right next to it).  She gave me the key that the dealer had made (for the low, low price of only $17.50).  The girls and I got in (Mrs. West was going to work -- she works overnight, at the airport as a matter of fact).  I inserted the key, turned it, lights and radio came on, and that was it.  The car did not start.

I made sure it was in Park.  Nope.  Pushed every button I knew to push.  Nope.

So, we called Toyota Roadside Assistance.  After an explanation about as long as this post, they sent a tow truck. 

Ten minutes later I noticed I had a voice mail.  It was the tow truck driver.  He couldn't leave until he'd talked to us.  He wanted to know which airport we were at.

I'm actually quite proud of myself -- I think I exhibited an astounding level of self-control.  I did not give in to the grave temptation to berate this bonehead.  Louisville, while it does in fact have two airports (one large and one tiny), only has one airport with a parking garage.  But I forbore and he showed up within the half-hour.

By this time it was about 10:50.  The dealer stayed open until Midnight.  If we got there in time they could program the key (they had somehow neglected to tell us that the key needed to be programmed and that the car had to be present for them to do this) and we could be on our way.

After a little confusion at the parking garage exit we were all on our way.  Rather surprisingly we made it to the dealership in ample time.

"Oh, your Dad didn't tell us he needed a Master Key," the garage guy said.

I feel that I was doubly deserving for withholding my withering scorn this time.  Why the hell would we go through all this rigamarole to obtain a key that WOULD NOT START THE CAR.  But I held my tongue.  We were there, the car was there, they could program the key, let's do it and perhaps I will finally reach home.

"Sure, we can do probably do it."  Probably?  "It'll be an hour's labor.  $97.50"

I did a lovely dance across the service bay floor at that point.  I whistled a tune.  I think it was "I'm Forever Blowing Bubbles."

"Fine, may we just leave it upon the lot for a couple of days until the keys could be sent?"

"OK, but don't leave it too long."

So, today I spent the morning in my new office (another story, with pictures) trying to reach Dad, who has overnighted the keys.  I'll go pick up the Prius tomorrow.  Everything will be OK.  And I think my adrenaline levels are just now returning to normal.
Logged
Infinitely vast, infinitely detailed.

wombat

  • English-Speaking Pizza
  • Moderator
  • Dude since Knucklehead times
  • *
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 644
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 12493
  • Yeah man, these are pugs, not some fuck*ng lolcat.
    • View Profile
Re: Greetings from Birmingham
« Reply #13 on: January 06, 2006, 11:00:36 pm »


Why the hell would we go through all this rigamarole to obtain a key that WOULD NOT START THE CAR.  But I held my tongue. 


For this you deserve sainthood, but all I can give you is a tiny can of Dr Pepper.
Logged
What is this, the fuckin' Algonquin Round Table or some shit?  - Nabu

If you're going to change your life then you have to change it every day, not just the days the world isn't taking a shit on you. -Doc

CortJstr

  • Mod Squad
  • Philippe is standing on it
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 338
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 9820
  • Which gives us AN EXCUSE TO DRINK!
    • View Profile
Re: Greetings from Birmingham
« Reply #14 on: January 06, 2006, 11:07:40 pm »

Damn. Just damn. Of course this is why I only support garages that don't pull that "1 hour minimum" bullshit.
Logged
Pages: [1] 2   Go Up