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[side_show]

Last night I had a dream that Wikipedia, in order to stop the abuse and misinformation of its database, started employing "Chroniclers" whose job it was to run around the world collecting info but never interfering or getting noticed.

Only men were allowed and they all had to have their vocal chords and genitals removed so that interaction beyond typing was moot.

I saw one walking by my apartment building and because he was noticed he pulled a gun and shot himself as rivlets of crimson ran through to the gutter.  As I went inside I noticed another Chronicler across the street typing up the event on a wireless laptop. 

I think I need to start eating better or something.

I suggest you copyright this right away, then turn it into a film script, and get Terrt Gilliam to directed.

-enjoy your millions.

[misterqueue]

I suggest you copyright this right away, then turn it into a film script, and get Terrt Gilliam to directed.

-enjoy your millions.

Should it bother me that even my dreamsa re kafkesque?   

[V-Adore]

Why should it bother you? That's the best dream ever.

The night between my big day of interviews at Cornell and the wrap-up, I dreamt that they decided to do pop-quiz interviews that morning with fictional characters. In the dream, my reaction was "this can't be! They said that interviews were over -- they can't go back on that! Graduate department's honor, man!!" When I woke up, it took me almost fifteen minutes of consciousness for the thought "... also, fictional characters don't exist and thus could not interview me unless I go Daniel-Handler-insane" to hit my brain. Damn good times.

[Doc]

Should it bother me that even my dreamsa re kafkesque?   

Does that mean that the rest of your life is so surreal that you would like some respite in your dreams? Is your every day life even more messed up than  this?

[misterqueue]

Does that mean that the rest of your life is so surreal that you would like some respite in your dreams? Is your every day life even more messed up than  this?

You have no idea.  Half the time I don't even want to type it up lest I'm being thought to be a paranoid delusional or a liar.

[theinevitable]

golfhaus-- Roast Beef day is the day after my birthday! hoorah!

Certain of my friends got all miffed that my school didn't fly the flag at half-mast when Mrs King died. As if the school specifically thought "screw her, what did she do?"

I actually asked "what, is there like a website they should have checked? How do they know when to put it at half-mast?"

misterqueue-- I love you. that dream is beautiful.



My vote for most disturbing dream goes to my friend... she dreampt for like a month straight that she was pregnant. and then she dreampt that she was in labor, had the baby, etc. She dreampt that she was breast feeding the baby.
She woke up in the middle of the night, and thought that the baby would be there. She couldn't understand where it was, and she couldn't stop crying.

She was depressed for like a week. Because she could remember that feeling (the one your parents tell you you'll get when/if you have a kid). Damn. It took her wayyy too long to convince her subconscious that it had just been a dream. (do you know what I mean? when you're upset, and you just have it lurking in the back of your mind all day?)


also: my girlfriend consistently has dreams that are essentially long chains of jungian archetypes. They're the sort of dreams that I used to think only characters in novels had.
"my mom was walking on the beach with me, when I was a baby, and dropped me in the water. I was raised by these old people, who kept me in the attic... (etc)".

[jough]

All of my dreams are in black and white, and nothing really happens.  I am usually just sitting across from an old woman who is reading a newspaper.  We do not speak.

Sometimes I dream that I am feeding babies to mountain lions, but usually it's just sitting at a table, watching someone else do something mundane.

[AlohaDawg]

My vote for most disturbing dream goes to my friend... she dreampt for like a month straight that she was pregnant. and then she dreampt that she was in labor, had the baby, etc. She dreampt that she was breast feeding the baby.
She woke up in the middle of the night, and thought that the baby would be there. She couldn't understand where it was, and she couldn't stop crying.

She was depressed for like a week. Because she could remember that feeling (the one your parents tell you you'll get when/if you have a kid). Damn. It took her wayyy too long to convince her subconscious that it had just been a dream. (do you know what I mean? when you're upset, and you just have it lurking in the back of your mind all day?)

She should get hypnotized and have a past life regression. I'm betting she lost a kid along the way.

[V-Adore]

My vote for most disturbing dream goes to my friend... she dreampt for like a month straight that she was pregnant. and then she dreampt that she was in labor, had the baby, etc. She dreampt that she was breast feeding the baby.
She woke up in the middle of the night, and thought that the baby would be there. She couldn't understand where it was, and she couldn't stop crying.

She was depressed for like a week. Because she could remember that feeling (the one your parents tell you you'll get when/if you have a kid). Damn. It took her wayyy too long to convince her subconscious that it had just been a dream. (do you know what I mean? when you're upset, and you just have it lurking in the back of your mind all day?)

Daang. That, sir, is impressive. And I know "lurking in the back of the mind all day" dreams -- today I had a dream that, in some kind of vague post-apocalyptic future, I had joined a bizarre cult whose initiation rituals involved mutilation and poisoning with a substance that accelerated aging, such that everyone only lived for a week after joining. (This was explained to me, inexplicably and hilariously, via an animated montage displaying the average life cycle of a cult member.) I spent most of the dream freaking out ineffectually and attempting to fix things, until eventually I ended up setting the building in which the cult was situated on fire. (If I recall correctly, I did this by realizing I had fire in my inventory and typing "light room" into a text-based adventure interface. Inexplicable!) Sure enough, all of my back-brain processing power today has been dedicated to trying to puzzle this one out, especially in light of most of my dreams lately being straightforward anxiety crap ("oh god MORE INTERVIEWS").

[AlohaDawg]

She should get hypnotized and have a past life regression. I'm betting she lost a kid along the way.

Did she have an abortion at some point? I know several women who have had hell of issues with that after the fact.

[wombat]

Sure enough, all of my back-brain processing power today has been dedicated to trying to puzzle this one out, especially in light of most of my dreams lately being straightforward anxiety crap ("oh god MORE INTERVIEWS").

Um, what's the puzzle, V? That sure sounds like a dream about grad school to me.  That is exactly how I remember it.

[V-Adore]

Um, what's the puzzle, V? That sure sounds like a dream about grad school to me.  That is exactly how I remember it.

Fair enough. I did spend last Saturday night getting drunk with a guy who wouldn't stop talking about his nature documentary idea and how much his research advisor sucked; I suppose that's something like a cult initiation.

[wombat]

And then you spend five years freaking out ineffectually and attempting to fix things.  And at least wishing you could set the building on fire.

[theinevitable]

alohadawg-- she's like 17 (or maybe, newly 18.) She's never even kissed a boy (or girl).

[misterqueue]

Last night I dreamed I was working late and eating an Arch Deluxe, which is really odd as I haven't been to McDonald's in many moons.  There was a ridiculous number of pickles on the bottom of the burger part.  I stared in horror at what must've been like 2 inches of pickles.

As I pulled away a tiny man jumped on my burger and explained to me why.  "Y'see.. the pickles are for flavor AND espionnage.  They know... they know!"  I said the whole thing was ridiculous and I would not stand for it.  To which he replied, "Well what about funding a project I have instead?"

He showed me a video game called Virtual Bangin' which was essentially about Fuckin'.  His idea was that the lonely gamer could invite a girl over and get his message of desire across without social skills.  I replied that playing a game called Virtual Bangin' was no substitute for social skills but if he changed the name to Bangin' by Proxy then he had a deal.


Other ways I don't recommend trying to be all cutesy about your desire for rutting which I know from experience:

Grabbing your ladyfriend's ass in the shower and screaming "Where is your god now?!"
Dancing naked while singing the theme song to 3...2...1...contact
Doing a puppet show without your hands

These also should not be tried on a random strangerlady to begin with as that would probably land you in jail anyway.