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"Artists need to make money to eat and to continue to make art. Artists used to rely on middlemen to collect their money on their behalf, thereby rendering themselves innocent of cash-handling in the public eye. Artists will now be coming straight to you (yes YOU, you who want their music, their films, their books) for their paychecks. Please welcome them. Please help them. Please do not make them feel badly about asking you directly for money.” -Amanda Palmer

Poll

Who made the worst first post ever? (links below)

Monkey Punch
- 10 (26.3%)
Imperator Severn
- 8 (21.1%)
Todd
- 0 (0%)
Kai
- 20 (52.6%)

Total Members Voted: 35

Voting closed: February 12, 2006, 02:57:10 am


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Author Topic: Award Presentation Thread: Worst First Effort Award  (Read 6483 times)

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AlohaDawg

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Award Presentation Thread: Worst First Effort Award
« on: January 17, 2006, 01:57:32 am »
« Last Edit: February 12, 2006, 02:28:30 am by AlohaDawg »
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pmcd9

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Re: Award Presentation Thread: Worst First Effort Award
« Reply #1 on: February 13, 2006, 02:13:14 am »
Seriously, I am really touched.  I actually didn't think I would win.  I thank everyone for voting for me.  I love you all.

[choking back a tear] To present the award for worst first effort.  is V, who has been catching her breath in the green room is now ready to take the stage and announce the winners in this category...  V

[paul runs off stage and grabs a tissue]

~Paul

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V-Adore

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Re: Award Presentation Thread: Worst First Effort Award
« Reply #2 on: February 13, 2006, 02:20:14 am »
Thank you, Paul. Please forgive me, folks; I drove uphill, in the snow, both ways to get to tonight's show, and only by the grace of God and cheap cherry-flavored vodka is my mind holding together. And, of course, your smiling faces tonight!

I'm "pleased" to present the award for the Worst First Effort, a.k.a. the worst first post from a n00b, of 2005. (Or some year, anyway.) We have four lovely nominees, in no particular order:

monkey punch's first post, "echoes of the classical tradition in Nate Small." monkey punch is on this list for twinned honors: first, writing perhaps the most pretentious post in the long and storied history of this board; and second, bitching at AlohaDawg because he wrote this post in 2004 and hasn't been around since his ignominious mocking. Here's a little more, monkey!

The intro post of one "Imperator Severn!" He called himself "Imperator Caesar Lucius Septimius Severus Pius Pertinax Augustus"; we, I believe, called him "Spanky," and that was in public. He turned out to be a less crap dude in a few posts or so, but man, did it start out workin' some rough chuckles.

Todd's first post, from the Sept 8th, 2005 strip thread -- to be honest, folks, I have no idea why this got nominated. It looks like he has a perfectly good point here, unlike the other yablos. Hey, I'm just readin' the prompter.

And last but certainly not least, we have Kai starting an entire topic to speculate about whether or not Chris Onstad is a Dude of Gravity. It's stalkertastic, and Kai just keeps digging a hole from there! You go, dude. Good luck on those Maximum Cuddles!

And the winner is...

(rip and tear)

... Kai, for the "I Want to Properly Visualize My Masturbatory Fantasies About Chris Onstad and Teodor Double-Teaming Me" thread! Congratulations, Kai. While monkey punch and Severn were also extremely considered, you should find yourself honored to be a crap n00b among crap n00bs. You, too, may one day be on the level of our sadly unconscious luminary SUGAH RAIN.
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side_show

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Re: Award Presentation Thread: Worst First Effort Award
« Reply #3 on: February 13, 2006, 02:22:53 am »
You know, at first I didn't want Kai to win because he (?) was so nasty to me, but I'm glad this award happened.  Fuck you again Kai.
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jough

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Re: Award Presentation Thread: Worst First Effort Award
« Reply #4 on: February 13, 2006, 02:23:38 am »
Really, you're all losers.  Way to go.
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