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[pmcd9]

Dammit Mr Online, you keep this up and you'll be giving Wombat a run for the money in the tiny cans department.

~Paul

[misterqueue]

*blush*

At least now I have a personality that will set me apart from miles!  Huzzah!

[V-Adore]

Q, you are an eternal delight. More Dr Pepper for you.

That said, picturing AW Noir makes me think of something else entirely:

The stage lights threw Trebek's face into hard, hideous shadows as he realized we were coming out of commercial. I glanced sideways, pleased to see the returning champion sweating bullets, ratlike face twitching. He knew I'd seen his weakness and that the times in my life when I'd have had mercy were so much water through the sewer now. I caressed my buzzer like a lover, getting it ready, tensed like a panther. "Welcome back," said Trebek, "as we get started with Double Jeopardy..."

[wombat]

V wins the internet.

This thread makes me want to lay down my crown of tiny cans and retire.  Carry on, young ones, I pass the torch on to you... 

[AugustWest]

(Speaking of which can you be an attourney at anything else?)

Yes.  Lloyd's Plan Insurers use something called an attorney-in-fact.

[AugustWest]

I'm not sure how comfortable I am being fictionalized like this.

[misterqueue]

AW: I promise it was an homage.  A poor one at best.  But, I shan't go any further... despite my desire to write the story of your amazing briefcase brawl with "Two-Tone" Tony, of the bad side of the tracks legal team.

It really was an amazing brawl

[wombat]

Aug, you've forgotten you're imaginary in the first place, so what could be the harm of being fictionalized.

And anyway, now aren't you dying to hear about the briefcase brawl?

[AugustWest]

I didn't say stop, I was feeling a little ambivalent.

[V-Adore]

I have to admit, I got nothin' further. I guess I'll just have to wait for further inspiration to strike.

Assuming AW's ambivalence doesn't waveform-collapse into disapproval, of course...

[misterqueue]

I didn't say stop, I was feeling a little ambivalent.

Well in that case.

There I stood.  Pressed between a rock and a hard place.  The hard place was the brick wall of my office and the rock was the head of "Two-Tone" Tony, one of the vile counterweights from the lawfirm of Smith, Johnson, and Suckit.  Tony wasn't big enough to get his name on a board, and their kind traveled in packs.  I travel alone, but then I'm Frank L. Dempsey, Attourney at Law!

Tony smiled with the self-satisfied smug of a thug who knows he'll get his doggie treat for the night.  Catching me out of sorts was probably the only thing the rat bastard had ever done right in his life.

"So Frank, what's it gonna be?  You gonna give up the goods on the dame's daliances past or am I gonna beat em out of ya?"

I wiped the blood from the side of my mouth where he had hit me earlier with his briefcase.  It tasted like a sack full of pennies, which is, just what I had in my own briefcase.  I saw him start to reel back, waiting for another blow I dove to the ground, snatched up my sack of pennies and whirled on him.

I heard it him before I'd even realized I landed my target.  He was out; cold.  Slumped against the wall like a ragdoll that a little girl doesn't want to play with anymore.

Tonight was a night for justice.  Tonight a dame would sleep soundly and safe, and she didn't even have to know I did this just for her.  That's the way it is in this world.  That's how it is for me, Frank L. Dempsey; Attourney at Law!

[jough]

The Adventures of Frank L. Dempsey, Attorney at Law

The paperwork hit my desk like McCluskey's personal gorilla hit the deck after I popped him one because I didn't like his shoes.  McCluskey was on the warpath for me when he found out I was on the case.  He was trying to break ground on a new distillery but had neglected to file the RF8713.32a report with the county.  I just happened to have an RF8713.32a sitting on my desk.

I put McCluskey's name on the top of the form.  No two-bit bourbon hussler was going to put one over on this county - not on my watch.  I proceeded to fill out that form like Babs O'Houllihan fills out her prom dress.  I quickly checked the "Categorically Exempt" box on the section for "Environmental Accessment" and wondered how many palms McCluskey had to grease to get the job started without filing the RF8713.32a "Right of Way Construction Permit," but I could feel a bit of it on my hand.  This was big.  This went all the way up to the top.  Right to the same people who I meet when I file paperwork down at the courthouse.  Right down to the very people I'm supposed to serve.

I'd show 'em how to file the proper forms.  I'd file 'em so well no one would suspect they were never filed to begin with.  I'd file 'em with perfect precision on an old Underwood typewriter that's been sitting on this desk as long as there were desks for them to sit on.  I'd file 'em tonight.  I'd file 'em in triplicate.

The only thing I had to do was to make sure McCluskey's insurance underwriter would be immune from claims.  So I filled out the waiver of the Permittee's immunity under the industrial insurance provisions of Title 51 RCW, which waiver hasn't been mutually negotiated by the parties, but which my forms claim they have.

The way I'm cookin' it, in the event it is determined that RCW 4.24.115 applies to this permit, the Permittee (that'd be McCluskey) agrees to defend, hold harmless, and indemnify the county to the maxiumum extent permitted thereunder, and specifically for its negligence concurrent with that of the county to the full extent of Permittee's negligence.  All that's left to do is to make sure the distillery burns like Rome, and I'm Nero, and this RF8713.32a permit is my fiddle.

No dames are going to swig cutrate hooch.  Not tonight.  Not ever.  I'm Frank L. Dempsey, Attourney at Law, and if you cut corners, I'll cut you down like a frat boy outgrowing his predilection for leggy blondes cuts down his dorm room poster of Sadie d'Orfee.

[misterqueue]

Yay!  A tiny can for you jough.  Nice.

[arkabee]

fanfic.
chat rooms.
tiny cans of dr pepper.

--

congrats on your new office AW.

[wombat]

QUEEN WOMBAT OF THE TINY CANS DEMANDS YOUR PRESENCE --

Oh, who am I kidding.  I'll never pull that one off.

Where was everyone last night?  I swear I was kidding when I complained about youall keeping me up too late. You're not going to leave me alone just when my Technical Staff is about to go away on vacation without me?  Tomorrow through next Saturday? Not too late because I still have to go to work early on weird days?  Please?