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[Bozack]

Owning a subwoofer.
Playing a) Mexican banda music, or b) that ridiculous "The Birdman flies in ANY weather!" song, at 2 in the morning on a Wednesday.
Having some sort of fuck*ng track & field meet in your apartment, wherein people with giant, lead-filled shoes run up and down the length of your apartment. I swear to God, they were doing hurdles yesterday.
Have very loud, very, very short sex, punctuated by shouting in Spanish.

[wombat]

We once lived in an apartment where we were positive that someone practiced bouncing a basketball in the bedroom right above ours.  I still can't figure out what weird sexual fetish would have sounded like that, so I think it really was a basketball.

[sunnystar]

I live above a go-cart shop. Yet, I've never heard a rip roaring go-cart either. I suppose there's always a time for firsts, but I think my floors must be pretty well insulated.

[V-Adore]

Things you shouldn't do in a dorm:

Have a repeated afternoon ritual which involves a few of you holding a door shut while another bangs increasingly loudly on it and starts shouting "FUCK YOU, OPEN THE DOOR!" for upwards of twenty minutes.

This is all.

[acoxcae]

Things you shouldn't do in a dorm:

Have a repeated afternoon ritual which involves a few of you holding a door shut while another bangs increasingly loudly on it and starts shouting "FUCK YOU, OPEN THE DOOR!" for upwards of twenty minutes.

This is all.

Did you live in my dorm?

I hope this is not a country-wide phenomenon.

[misterqueue]

Another thing you shouldn't do is leave used heroin needles and peanut butter out for weeks.

When I lived in KC, there was a couple upstairs from me that fancied themselves "poets" in the sense that they couldn't really write prose so they fell back on ridiculousness.  (This is not a jab at actual poets mind you, just delusional ones.)

Normally their peanut butter and heroin needles would not have mattered to me as it didn't really affected me except that it's really hard to keep roaches out of an apartment when they're all coming from upstairs where they can feast like kings.  KINGS I TELL YOU.

[sunnystar]

Q, your peanut butter roaches make me kinda queazy...

[misterqueue]

Q, your peanut butter roaches make me kinda queazy...

You should've tried living there.  You'd open the door to where the heater was and it was like watching an undulating sea of brown that quickly grew holes and evaporated into cracks in the wall.  I spent most of my nights in terror of swallowing one of the little bastards.

[sunnystar]

Thank you, Q, for adding to the ever growing image of nasty in my brain. :shudder: I am now going to be terrified of roaches attacking me with peanut butter in my sleep.

On a small side note, I once went to get in bed and found a spider as big as your head (or so it seemed) hiding in my covers. I made Alex kill it and then take the whole bed apart in case it had friends and family. Even after seeing that there were no more I was still afraid to get into the bed. For more nights than just that one.

True story.

The end.

[misterqueue]

Once as I was sitting I saw something fuzzy a little in the corner of my eye and felt a tremble.  I have unusually long eyelashes which ladies are always jealous of but I find a pain in the ass since they get all pressed down when I wear sunglasses.

I mention this only because it explains why I didn't notice what I found much sooner.

There was a spider right on my eyelash.

For some reason, the very idea of a spider on you is repellant but on your eye is all the more horrifying.  When I pulled my hand back from my eyelashes and saw what I had caught I think I threw that thing hard enough to create a sonic boom.  It was very unnerving, but I did not cry. The End.

[Biz Markizzle]

That is nothing to be ashamed of spiders are goddamned nasty. Eight legs, poison fangs, can walk on ceilings and walls, can shoot a material from their ass that serves as both a home and a weapon -- those are way too many powers for one animal.

The problem with my apartment building is the mentally ill family that lives on the bottom floor, and just take any package that is left in the entryway. I don't think they even know it's wrong; it's just like Christmas every day. Also we sometimes have millipedes the size of grapefruits; I swear these things could goddamn eat a ferris wheel.

[sunnystar]

Oh...my...god...I think your story, Q, just gave me a mild heart attack. I WOULD have cried. And also refuse to be calmed for many an hour. Just traumatizing!

Also, I am already jealous of your eyelashes of which I cannot see.

[misterqueue]

The problem with my apartment building is the mentally ill family that lives on the bottom floor, and just take any package that is left in the entryway. I don't think they even know it's wrong; it's just like Christmas every day. Also we sometimes have millipedes the size of grapefruits; I swear these things could goddamn eat a ferris wheel.

Damn, I don't think I can top that.  Though the girl across the hall did write "JACK OFF" on my washer all because I asked her to please stop using it since she did so without asking and I was paying the utilities on it.

Until she washed it off whenever I heard her in the hallway I would yell out, "Man oh man I am jacking off in here so good, this is such a good jack off!"  or "I wish I could get some things done but I can't stop jacking off!" or simply "WOOOO JACKIN' OFF!"

Does this make me Pat?  I don't want to be Pat.

[CortJstr]

That sounds a little more like Vlad, to me

[misterqueue]

Actually I'm pretty sure Vlad would say, "The jackink off, is so delicious; is sood good."