My story about the song "Closer"
A friend of a friend of mine was having her bachelorette party at a strip club. Now, I'd seen a few other male strippers, but always by accident, and usually at a gay bar, when I'm all in the back of the bar that just happens to have man strippers, and I turn around and accidentally glimpsed one while trying my hardest to not see one. But this was different. I was out with a group of horny ladies who wanted to see naked men shaking it. I knew when I got into the van and all the other ladies cheered "Meeeeel!" that this was going to be interesting.
Two things you'll need to know before I proceed: 1) I was a goth kid at the time, and only had black clothes & 2) In Canadian currency we have one and two dollar coins - paper money starts at the $5 bill.
Cut to the bar. There are lots of clearly stripper men, in tight jeans wandering around, but otherwise the place is basically empty, but for a few groups of cougars and my group of fine young things. The show is going to start really soon. Thankfully it starts to fill up, though it's a mystery where all the women appeared from so fast, and the MC guy gets up and introduces the stripper guy, and out he comes, and on comes "Closer" and my bestfriend, who found the fact I was a goth girl at the time already quite laughable turns and grins sarcastically at me. The stripper guy is wearing those rubber-y vinyl #####, a stupid vest... I don't remember what else. But he is gyrating around and I'm just so embarrassed for him and for the screaming cougar women and mostly for me being there. Then takes off his vest and dances around, then he gets to his #####, unzips and lays on his stomach on the floor for some reason, and he's kind of humping the floor rhythmically, then it starts to look like he's just sort of struggling, then it becomes clear that he is actually trying to get his ##### off but that they are too tight or rubbery to take off, and he's sort of splayed out on the floor just tugging on his ##### frantically. Finally he yanks them off in a really inelegant and awkward sort of way, with one of the legs still half on and inside out around his ankle, he gets up and the ladies go wild because of his leather thong with front zipper... It goes on from there, and then he's naked and sort of doing these dick flips... the dick flips are just like the whole experience awkward and embarrassing... finally after an eternity the song ends and the women are throwing coins at him and he is basically crawling around on all fours picking up dollar coins while he's basically getting pelted with them. It was basically the least sexy thing I'd ever seen. and now whenever I hear "Closer" I think of a stripper sprawled on the floor and unable to get his rubber ##### off.
Afterward he walked around the bar naked selling photos of himself, and he was just waving them back and forth in front of his dick like they were windshield wiper blades. One of the girls I was with bought one, and he made her take it from in front of his crotch. He actually refused to hand it to her.
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Topic: Trent Reznor: WTF?!? (Read 21338 times)