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[side_show]

An email I wrote and distributed to the entire staff today:

Hi all!

Announcing the Spring Cleaning Smack Down!

If you even so much as enter the theatre school office, Studio 4, or the costume room please read this announcement carefully!!

Studio 4 is starting to look like it’s becoming Theatre School’s garbage dump, the costume room looks like a cyclone hit it, and the Theatre School office is getting oh-so cluttered!    Please, please, please remember to pick up after yourself!   As a refresher, please read the rules for the costume room posted on the cork board in the theatre school office!  I realize things are hectic right now with open classes and the up coming shows (yay!) but this doesn’t mean anyone is exempt from keeping things organized (in fact it’s more important now that ever!)   Please be reminded that if you need to store any props or costumes for class use that these items must be labeled and stored in the costume room – not stashed in the office or in any of the studios. 

Studio 4 is used for workshops and lunches for visiting schools and is also used by Aboriginal Arts three times a week, and it is very unpleasant (and a little embarrassing) for everyone else to have to work around the messes that have been left behind.  If you have left props or costumes on Studio 4, please put these items away immediately – they are in the way of other people who are using the space, and they look terrible scattered everywhere!

On Thursday, March 23rd, Claire and I will be mercilessly Spring Cleaning both the theatre school office and Studio 4.  This means anything that hasn’t been removed from these two rooms that looks like garbage will be thrown out, anything that looks like a costume or prop will be moved into the costume room, and anything that doesn’t have a practical use will be accessed and either donated, recycled or thrown away.  After we scour the office and studio, we will move on to organizing the costume room, so please, if you have items/costumes stored in the costume room, make sure they are labeled so we don’t disturb your items in the process of cleaning up.

Also, I complained to two different co-workers about people leaving half-drunken beverages on my desk every day for the past month.

[Drygioni]

Pat merely complains about Mexicans and dentists, while running the business of a theatre is of course -VERY- serious and demands an upright, tell-it-like-it-is attitude. I'm sure Pat would be proud of your managerial skills.

Not saying you are like Pat, though. Of course.

[pmcd9]

Feelin' better Mel?  That's mighty fiesty talk for someone not feeling well.  Also, I thought you were on the road promoting your play...  What gives?

~Paul

[side_show]

Ah, no I am feverishly at home, working on re-writes for said play. 

Also, yes, thank you, I am feeling much better, and am even going for a run at the YMCA tonight!

[CortJstr]

A costume room looking like the aftermath of a cyclone is just a fact of nature. Every one I've ever seen has looked like this. Prop closets never seem to look that bad, however.

I think there's an episode of NewsRadio focusing on Phil Hartman's desk somehow becoming the designated graveyard for half-eaten food. It looks like you might be in the same boat that he was.

[Hobot]

This means anything that hasn’t been removed from these two rooms that looks like garbage will be thrown out, anything that looks like a costume or prop will be moved into the costume room, and anything that doesn’t have a practical use will be accessed and either donated, recycled or thrown away.

I don't know why, but I read "donated" as "detonated."  Maybe you should consider using explosives.

[robot_god]

An email I wrote and distributed to the entire staff today:

Also, I complained to two different co-workers about people leaving half-drunken beverages on my desk every day for the past month.

What's so bad about free drinks?

Unless it's Gatorade, yuck. =p

[V-Adore]

I think this post demonstrates that the powers of Pat must only be deployed in desperate situations, and managing a theater is one such situation. I mean, with all due respect, in my experience the average thespian is basically an australopithicene when it comes to taking care of things. I think gorillas may actually take care of their sticks better.

(Also, why the hell would multiple people be compelled to leave half-finished drinks on your desk?)

In any event, as long as you don't start getting irrationally angry at barbers, I think you're in the clear.

[Doc]

Pat would involve much more mindless screaming.

[wombat]

I just want it to be clear that leaving half finished sodas ON SOMEONE ELSE'S DESK should be punishable by execution.

[miles]

ALSO: Add used tissue on someone elses desk to the execution list.

Next to a bottle of Jergens.

[side_show]

What's so bad about free drinks?

- Mix sweet drinks with the office's rampant fruit fly problem

- Mix coffee and cream with sitting twelve hours at room temperature

This my friend, is what is wrong with free drinks.

[wombat]

ALSO: Add used tissue on someone elses desk to the execution list.

OMG, this has to be worse than execution.  This will require some thought.

[psilogen]

Next to a bottle of Jergens.

Isn't that some kind of occult office-sex proposition? I am thinking of Palahniuk's "Choke" where an unlocked-but-occupied airline bathroom is basically an invitation to free anonymous sex.

Maybe I am imagining work environments to be more exciting than they actually are.

[pmcd9]

Maybe I am imagining work environments to be more exciting than they actually are.

You ain't spent much time in an office.  It's where excitement goes to die.

~Paul