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Author Topic: Trench Warfare  (Read 7803 times)

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Jeepers

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Trench Warfare
« on: March 15, 2006, 07:29:10 pm »
This is why we invented science

Maybe next, we can develop an anti-taliban bomb that makes everyone think that their food has turned into pork.
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theinevitable

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Re: Trench Warfare
« Reply #1 on: March 15, 2006, 08:20:00 pm »
man...
it would make most kids I know so much happier with their lives if they invented a bomb that made all terrorists gay.
having to dislike more than one group can be taxing.
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robot_god

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Re: Trench Warfare
« Reply #2 on: March 15, 2006, 09:26:22 pm »
That's the gayest thing I ever heard.



What if they used the gay bomb and the bad breath bomb simultaneously?
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ACHIEVE

V-Adore

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Re: Trench Warfare
« Reply #3 on: March 15, 2006, 10:00:40 pm »
C'mon, folks. Clearly the news here isn't the gay bomb, it's the Enraged Wasp and Angry Rat Bomb. Now that's classy! My responses are twofold:

1) I guess a return to rat-based biological warfare is really all we did need to get back to the good ol'-fashioned Crusade model.
2) Wouldn't it be much simpler to just fill the bombs with live wasps/rats and trust that they'll be enraged when they land?
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wombat

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Re: Trench Warfare
« Reply #4 on: March 15, 2006, 10:13:18 pm »
Quote from: V-Adore on March 15, 2006, 10:00:40 pm

2) Wouldn't it be much simpler to just fill the bombs with live wasps/rats and trust that they'll be enraged when they land?

Speaks the voice of rat experience!
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If you're going to change your life then you have to change it every day, not just the days the world isn't taking a shit on you. -Doc

V-Adore

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Re: Trench Warfare
« Reply #5 on: March 15, 2006, 10:19:41 pm »
Quote from: wombat on March 15, 2006, 10:13:18 pm
Speaks the voice of rat experience!

Seriously, you do not need a special chemical to get a rat angry. All you have to do is carry it around a little while! This is sufficient both to get the rat frothingly angry and also to give it cancer.

(My Psychology tutorial partner and I are about to start an experiment that will involve playing Bob Marley music for baby rats. It's a far cry from my last rat-lab experiment, thankfully...)
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Jeepers

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Re: Trench Warfare
« Reply #6 on: March 15, 2006, 10:35:28 pm »
I just envisioned a catapult launching a payload of angry gay rats.
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Doc

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Re: Trench Warfare
« Reply #7 on: March 15, 2006, 10:59:57 pm »
I say we give the rats bad breath and then make the soliders irresistable to them.

The weird part of this for me is that the rat/wasp thing involves there basically being tonnes of rats or wasps wherever the soldiers are, rats are pretty common I guess but how do you get enough wasps together to cause serious inconvenience to an army?

And no, the rats should be loaded into shells like the headcrabs in half life 2. The wasps can be shot from machine guns.
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CortJstr

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Re: Trench Warfare
« Reply #8 on: March 15, 2006, 11:05:58 pm »
Quote from: Doc on March 15, 2006, 10:59:57 pm
And no, the rats should be loaded into shells like the headcrabs in half life 2. The wasps can be shot from machine guns.

What about dogs with bees in their mouths. And when they bark they shoot bees as you.

I can't even begin the wrap my head around the black market value of the Sexually Irresistable chemical bomb. Proms, night clubs, porn movie shoots, Girls Gone Wild. If they were to ever perfect it the entire global economy would completely dissolve with 3 days.
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wombat

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Re: Trench Warfare
« Reply #9 on: March 16, 2006, 12:20:01 am »
Quote from: CortJstr on March 15, 2006, 11:05:58 pm
What about dogs with bees in their mouths. And when they bark they shoot bees as you.


Nooooo!  The bees will bite the dog's soft pink mouths!  They will get an allergic reaction and swell up and die!

I am sorry, I am a dog hypochondriac. 

As for where they'd get tons of wasps, the government is already breeding zillions of bees in secret bee farms.  I saw it on X-Files, it must be true.  But Doc's idea of the rats with bad breath is the best.
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Re: Trench Warfare
« Reply #10 on: March 16, 2006, 01:04:03 am »
Quote from: CortJstr on March 15, 2006, 11:05:58 pm
What about dogs with bees in their mouths. And when they bark they shoot bees as you.

What are you gonna do, sic your dogs on me?  Or your bees?
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Doc

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Re: Trench Warfare
« Reply #11 on: March 16, 2006, 01:49:11 pm »
Release the *****ic richard simmons!

Possibly a tad obscure
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CortJstr

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Re: Trench Warfare
« Reply #12 on: March 16, 2006, 02:44:56 pm »
Quote from: Doc on March 16, 2006, 01:49:11 pm
Release the #####ic richard simmons!

Possibly a tad obscure

His ass is gonna blow!
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Doc

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Re: Trench Warfare
« Reply #13 on: March 16, 2006, 03:55:54 pm »
'Jstred!
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Drygioni

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Re: Trench Warfare
« Reply #14 on: March 16, 2006, 04:26:56 pm »
If you want to make the average 15-16 year old laugh (and who doesn't?) this story is basically the single best thing to do this with. It encompasses homosexuality, terrorists and the American military, making it a smorgasboard of chuckles for the criminally immature. I experienced this today.

No wonder the idea didn't get through. If military history taught us anything, the bond between soldiers is a beautiful thing.

EDIT: Links fixed. Oops.
« Last Edit: March 16, 2006, 05:16:06 pm by JudyIsADickSlap »
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I am sorry for my behaviour last night.
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