Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

[pmcd9]

Actually St. Bernard's are genetically predisposed to grow tiny kegs around their necks as part of their maturing process.  It is actually a Westminster standard to expect this.  The content of the tiny keg is what determines if the dog is a true winner or not:  NeoCitran?  No, this dog will lose. Hot Chocolate?  This dog may place. Fine Brandy?  This is indeed a top dog.

St. Bernards are awesome dogs, but sloppy kissers.

~Paul

[Lister]

St. Bernards are awesome dogs, but sloppy kissers.

~Paul

I once heard that very phrase used to describe Rue McClanahan.

[pmcd9]

I once heard that very phrase used to describe Rue McClanahan.

I'd hit it.

~Paul

[side_show]

Okay, story tangent:

Bea Arthur:

In 2001 my friend and I made it our life's mission to get on the front page of the local sensational-trash-news paper (the kind with a photo of a girl in Bikini in the back pages).  We both agreed to think up schemes and mine won.  I can't remember his idea anymore, but mine was that we would egg Bea Arthur.  Why?  Because she's Bea Arthur.  And also she was coming to town with her one woman show: BEA!.  There were posters all over the city of Bea Arthur posed in a suggestive way a top a piano all over the city.  It was that simple.  So we were excitedly awaiting tickets for Bea's show to come on sale, fantasizing over the possible headline, and arguing over whether we'd use rotten or fresh eggs (fresh of course!).  Then 9/11 happened.  Bea Arthur cancelled her tour, and we never got to do it.  Sadly, my life's ambition to egg Bea Arthur remains unfulfilled to this day.  I've told many this story, and often the response is: "Why do you hate Bea Arthur?" to which I emphatically reply "I don't hate Bea Arthur, I want to egg Bea Arthur."  People just don't understand.

Recently, I was watching the Comedy Central Roast of Pamela Anderson, mostly for the enjoyment of seeing the train wreck that is Courtney Love, and to my amazement there was Bea.  She's looking pretty frail.  I doubt she'll ever pass through Winnipeg.  Sigh.

[theinevitable]

This morning, I was driving home, and I passed a dog that had been hit by a car.
WAIT. What kind of dog was that? I look again.
It was a wolf. i swear. Or else, one of those dogs that looks like a wolf.

in my neighborhood in Illinois when I was little, deer would just walk down the street. it was crazy.

[pmcd9]

I got my car fixed.

Took it to the bodyshop last friday, Alan made the estimate while Cindy did the paperwork.  I picked it up yesterday afternoon and it looks pretty good.  Alls well that ends well I suppose.  No harm, no foul, except for the $500 dollar deductible and $320 dollars to rent a gas guzzler.  Oh yeah, the gas guzzler had a lot of power and I recieved a speeding ticket which cost another $232 dollars.  So I had to settle for now on a much smaller television .

~Paul

[pmcd9]

Bea Arthur:

That's Maude.

~Paul

[Hobo Frenzy]

Paul, I love your picture stories. I don't think you get enough thanks for the effort you put into it. What do you tell people when you want them to take your pictures? Especially as you pay a speeding ticket? Thank you for photographing your life for us!

[Drygioni]

Paul, you should be a children's illustrator. You tell stories effortlessly through imagery, and put a smile on all and sundry while doing it. Damn, it's not like the competition is particuarly stiff, you'd be rich in no time. And, erm, spiritually fulfilled as well.

[wombat]

Judy is either joking or a bit naive about the state of the publishing industry.  But dang, now my life will never be the same until I get to read Paul's picture book for toddlers about getting a speeding ticket.

[pmcd9]

Thanks Hobo, Judy.  If I wrote a picture book it may be childish, but probably not for children.

~Paul