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[Hobot]

I guess we can talk about Emeril's blog here or in the "Exciting New Character Blog" thread; you know, whatever floats your boat.

I thoroughly enjoyed Onstad's newest entry about playing the Lottery.  Of course, it reminded me of that Shirley Jackson short story, but I got over it.  My favourite part: "She gave me that one-eye-squint look she gives to me when I ask how to do basic life functions...."  Brilliant.

[CortJstr]

I've gotten that look. I often have no idea how to do basic chores because my mom is OCD and nobody can clean up to her standards. So even if I tried to help and vacuum she'd just do it again. Around age 7 I decided to just give up and not even attempt to clean anything.

[theinevitable]

oh jeez, I get this squint all the time.
I have realized how much my parents basically do for me, and it is horrifying.
also, I am very hesitant to do a large number of things because of a few experiences where I assumed I knew how to do something, did it incorrectly, and then failed spectacularly. I now ask how to do things-- every time.

[Mite]

I give this squint to my husband whenever his supremely bad sense of direction rears its ugly head, and he returns it to me when he says things like "What do you mean you've never seen Hudson Hawk?!"

[pmcd9]

Talk about a guy who pulls his testicles away from his body with both hands.

.

Is this something done for pleasure?

~Paul

[misterqueue]

I took that to be the lift-n-spread of someone getting inspected in prison, but that didn't make 100% of sense to me either.

[Beatrice]

as distance from testicle grow, manhood diminish

[goldenchurchhill]

I thought he had big balls?  I guess it would be hard to have to use both hands no matter how big they are.  MAybe he does it because he is a prick.

[Drygioni]

I can play the lottery in three months or so. Among other things.

I've always enjoyed Onstad's blogs over the 'real' characters. Sometimes there's just a limit to the enjoyment I can get out of knowing the lives and backstories of cartoon characters, whereas most here relish the prospect of finding out just that little bit more about Achewood. Obviously, I'm not a true fan; I don't even have the cookbook, for chris'sake.

I do enjoy this man who shouts at phones and tells the Internet about his newborn baby, though.



   

[pmcd9]

I'm not a true fan; I don't even have the cookbook, for chris'sake.

Buy the cookbook for Chris' sake and your own.

~Paul

[theinevitable]

ok people

I think it was a joke about the man's balls not having descended. he is trying so hard to make them come down, and they will not.

also: does this really happen to people? I mean, I don't to be awkward by asking this, but... I don't seem to remember any such event. I know it happens to dogs and such, but... people? really?

just ignore that if that is too awkward.

[jough]

I cannot remember a moment in my life where my balls weren't right where they are now.

[pmcd9]

I cannot remember a moment in my life where my balls weren't right where they are now.

In your boyfriends mouth?  Oh damn!!!

~Paul

[littlefallsmets]

I'm often mocked for putting two dollars on each lottery drawing that I remember when in a convenience store (I live in California, so that's two Superlottos and two Megamillions a week, eight dollars a week) once its found out that I do as such.

People tell me "Mike, you are not a Dumb Person. You have a degree from a college that is not made-up. You have read many books. Clearly, you know that you will not win the lottery. The odds are millions to one every time and they are not cumulative. You will not build up luck in the lottery by involving yourself many times. Every time, it is millions to one again you. Every lottery will always be won by a nurse's assistant in one of the poorer parts of Orange County. This is how it works."

It takes a while to explain to people that I don't really think I'll win, you know, or at least that I understand how nearly-impossible it is for me to win. What I'm doing is... renting the fantasy. For two dollars, I can rent that fantasy for three or four days, the fantasy that everything will be okay. That every problem that money caused can disappear and that every problem that money can fix can be fixed in the blink of an eye.

It is not such a high cost for a fantasy of those heights, eight dollars a week.

[Carlos del Vaca]

I tend to agree with you.  I did the math and figured out that Mega Millions and PowerBall need jackpots of well over $200 million before they're a good bet.  But I still drop a buck on them every once in a while, because it's nice to dream.