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Author Topic: It's not from a giraffe but it'll have to do...  (Read 4121 times)

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AlohaDawg

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Re: It's not from a giraffe but it'll have to do...
« Reply #15 on: April 19, 2006, 06:30:40 pm »

Placenta link in another paper

Because the Hawaii Paper SUCKs ROCKS when it comes to keeping links alive for 24 hours.

Anyhow, it's an interesting sincere story about cultural practices around the placenta.
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theinevitable

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Re: It's not from a giraffe but it'll have to do...
« Reply #16 on: April 19, 2006, 08:14:37 pm »

there is no way that it is that much pain.

I know it because of this: a woman's urethra is the same as a man's. the urethra does not stretch. My mom, who has obviously given birth, passed out cold from the pain of passing a tiny kidney stone. this did not occur when giving birth to me, or my 2 siblings.

although I guess the body is built to deal with the pain of giving birth, but not the pain of pissing out a rock.

so, she had the baby. No mention on CNN on whether the placenta has been consumed.

*makes a fruity hand sign that means "I love you" at Suri*

ok, speaking of wierd birth rituals: I had a dream that one ofmy friends found out that she was adopted. She traced her birth parents to some third world country.

she returned, and said "yeah, they wanted me to do this female-circumcision thing. I figured... why not? I mean, guys are circumcised, right?"
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robot_god

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Re: It's not from a giraffe but it'll have to do...
« Reply #17 on: April 19, 2006, 08:39:09 pm »

Scientology is pretty much the most hilarious religion. It is essentially the religion of new-wave kooky celebrities who can't think of more ways to make some very clever people very rich by giving them money for nothing. Such is life.

Silent birth? I heard somewhere child birth has the same amount of pain as a man squeezing a golf ball through his dick. I'd love to see Tom Cruise do that.

I think it's really more of a scam than a religion.  They lure in celebrities with "ain't it hard being famous?  We can help."  I hear that they get their followers to disclose all their personal secrets for some reason, probably some kind of cleansing.  So even if these celebrities realize what's going on, the fear of having their dirt revealed (and careers annihilated) probably keeps them from quitting.  Also, butt orgies.
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Carlos del Vaca

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Re: It's not from a giraffe but it'll have to do...
« Reply #18 on: April 19, 2006, 08:42:07 pm »

There was speculation that the Michael Jackson - Lisa Marie Presley marriage was actually a plot by Scientology (Lisa Marie was/is a member) to get Michael, his deep impressionability, and his trailer-loads of money in the door.
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Re: It's not from a giraffe but it'll have to do...
« Reply #19 on: April 19, 2006, 09:17:44 pm »

And even Michael wasn't crazy enough to buy into it. Amazing.
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theinevitable

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Re: It's not from a giraffe but it'll have to do...
« Reply #20 on: April 19, 2006, 10:06:46 pm »

the TA of my psych class over the summer did a foray into scientology.
she went to their headquarters to have a "test" done. She says that as someone whose entire life is based around making tests for people to take, and then grading those tests, their tests made no sense. They were essentially "scientific" looking graphs that meant nothing. The questionnaire was a badly photocopied fill-in-the-bubble type test. they graded it in 5 minutes. she says that it was not made in a way that it could have been graded by one of those machines.
she just bullshitted them, and they tried to tell her about herself.
"I've always thought I was kind of insecure"
"yes, it says you are very insecure, right here *points at squiggley line*"
Well that's funny, because that line is labeled "anger"
"yes, well, insecurity is based on anger"
then, she showed us the graph. it didn't even look respectable.

I laughed so hard. it is so fun to make fun of that religion.
plus, it was invented by a science fiction writer to make money off of people. early on, he took his followers out on his yacht. None of them knew how to navigate, and so they got lost.
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Doc

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Re: It's not from a giraffe but it'll have to do...
« Reply #21 on: April 24, 2006, 05:19:14 am »

Whenever I hear this story I can't help but think of the last panel of this PA.

That said were I a rich-ass celebrity you bet I'd act like a total fruitcake. I mean, why the hell not? Tabloids are probably going to make shit up anyway, may as well have some fun with it.
'Hey honey you'll never guess what I told them today. I said you had to give birth in total silence in the middle of an african village and then I was going to eat the placenta! Isn't that brilliant? Anyway, Dr. Swanson called, he'll be by later to set you up with an epidural and I'll be at my club if you want to give me a buzz after your done ok?'

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