My problem is that this just seems to be magnifying my usual problem with work-- I get so overwhelmed just thinking about it that I get stressed before I even start. So then, once I actually -do- start, I immediately feel like I need a break.
I used to have that problem a lot, back in the day. I also sometimes took ritalin back in the day, and yeah, it never helped with that. If I'm stuck on an assignment because it's just too damn boring and trying to keep my attention on it is like trying to keep a toddler from touching something shiny, then the drugs come in handy. But if I'm stuck on an assignment because for some reason I've decided that working on it would be terrifying and tragic, then ritalin doesn't change that. I also don't really find "will power" that helpful in that situation either, and by "will power" I mean "threats, yelling at myself, beating myself up, etc," because it only stresses me out more and makes the assignment seem more ominous. So when that happens to me, and it mostly happens with writing assignments, I try to think, "Okay Alternate, you've got two assignments for tonight. The second assignment is to write this paper. But the first assignment is to figure out why you're so scared of writing this paper, and figure out how to be less scared." That way it's kind of like a puzzle. And puzzles, I can do.
Basically, though, it usually comes down to talking an assignment down instead of talking it up, for me. Like, if I've got an important paper to write and I'm playing tetris instead of writing it, it's natural to try telling myself, "Stop playing tetris right now! You have to write your paper! If you don't write your paper you'll fail at everything, you'll never have friends or children, for the rest of your life strangers on the subway will glare at you as they silently mock your work ethic..." But when I say that the scared part of my brain just hides under the bed and covers its ears and goes, "La la la I can't hear you the tetris music is too loud!" So instead I tell myself, "You know what? This assignment is dumb. This assignment is no big deal. I'm just going to write some bullshit for it, who the hell cares what I write? Look at me, writing this random stream-of-consciousness bullshit, here I go! Ha!" And of course I can edit it later. But it usually turns out to be not-bullshit-after-all, because I actually do have thoughts I want to express and facts to back them up and a basic grasp of the english language, the hard part is just convincing myself that it's okay to start writing those thoughts down, and that god isn't reading over my shoulder, holding a lightning bolt, just waiting for an excuse to smite something.
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Topic: Coffee Or Tea Mother Bitches? (Read 19551 times)