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[Carlos del Vaca]

There are exactly two things which turn me into a frothing, flag-waving American crazy person:  Olympic hockey, and World Cup soccer.

I watched the US-Germany quarterfinal match last time 'round on the Jumbo Tron at RFK Stadium with a couple thousand other idiots at like 6 AM.  I don't know if I'll go to such extremes this time, and I certainly won't watch every single match, but I'll do what I can.

[CortJstr]

Since the World Cup is legitimately a world title I approve of its continued existence. Baseball however can suck it.

[side_show]

I don't really follow the World Cup, but if I happen to be somewhere with a game on, I do like to watch it.

A little under two years ago, was driving home one day, and stopped at an intersection, when suddenly I was surrounded by drunken Portuguese men who were filling the streets: waving flags, jumping up and down and motioning insistently for me to honk my horn.  I obliged, and suddenly I was surrounded by even more Portuguese men, and all four directions of the intersection were unable to move.  Then a guy with a flag came to my car, and started slowly leading my car down the road as he waved a flag, andthen I was someone in a parade down the street.  Drunken fans were trying to get into my car, but the guy with the flag who was "escorting" my car waved them away.  I suppose, I look like I could be Portuguese, and I was laughing pretty hard.  It took me about 45 minutes to make what should have been a 10 minute drive, but it was sort of sweet to see all these men who were so happy about their team winning.   Until that point I had no idea that we had a Little Portugal here, and now whenever I drive through that intersection I think of that time.

[pmcd9]

This sounds like something that might happen only in the movies.  Very Mr. Beanesque i'm thinking.

~Paul

[Drygioni]

I don't really follow the World Cup, but if I happen to be somewhere with a game on, I do like to watch it.

A little under two years ago, was driving home one day, and stopped at an intersection, when suddenly I was surrounded by drunken Portuguese men who were filling the streets: waving flags, jumping up and down and motioning insistently for me to honk my horn.  I obliged, and suddenly I was surrounded by even more Portuguese men, and all four directions of the intersection were unable to move.  Then a guy with a flag came to my car, and started slowly leading my car down the road as he waved a flag, andthen I was someone in a parade down the street.  Drunken fans were trying to get into my car, but the guy with the flag who was "escorting" my car waved them away.  I suppose, I look like I could be Portuguese, and I was laughing pretty hard.  It took me about 45 minutes to make what should have been a 10 minute drive, but it was sort of sweet to see all these men who were so happy about their team winning.   Until that point I had no idea that we had a Little Portugal here, and now whenever I drive through that intersection I think of that time.

This is really what the World Cup is about. Going completely over-the-top because some guys representing you put a ball in some net thousands of miles away. It's so beautiful.

Maybe only children play football in America 'cause only other countries keep the 'football' gene their entire lives, while you have genes that mutate into a 'baseball' or 'golf' or 'American Football' gene. Either way, most people have at least one element in them that can cause them to cry and scream at a TV when something happens to a ball.

Sidenote: You guys call it Soccer because at Oxbridge they had a habit of shortening words and putting an '-er' on the end: Brekker (Breakfast) and Rugger (Rugby) for example. Association Football become known as Soccer (thank god it wasn't 'footer') and as these guys dominated the sport for years, it stuck in quite a few places.

[theinevitable]

I read a pretty good article once about how Football (non-american) just isn't an American game. And it went on to explain exactly what elements of football made it so uninteresting to most americans. I do not understand sports, so I don't really remember what exactly it said. I will attempt to find the book.

I think one part of it was the ability to not look like a "loser". He said something like "I watched a bunch of kids play soccer once. It seemed like they were all doing really well-- chasing the ball all over, staying on their sides, etc. And then I realized that about half the kids never even touched the ball. And that in soccer, this was Acceptable."

I can attest from my suburban-soccer-playing years that this is true. I touched the ball maybe twice, ever.

[AugustWest]

To expand on my earlier curt (perhaps rude) answer, I love soccer.  I played in High School, college and law school.  I played indoor and outdoor, and once a summer these days I play in my High School's alumni game.  I'm big and slow and I'm a fullback.  I'm hard to get past.  I love to play soccer.

But I cannot stand watching it. 

[Hobot]

To expand on my earlier curt (perhaps rude) answer, I love soccer.  I played in High School, college and law school.  I played indoor and outdoor, and once a summer these days I play in my High School's alumni game.  I'm big and slow and I'm a fullback.  I'm hard to get past.  I love to play soccer.

But I cannot stand watching it.

Woo, fullback!  I played left fullback in field hockey, and that was my default position in football/soccer matches in gym class.  I am neither big nor slow, but defence is just plain fun.

[Carlos del Vaca]

I was a goalkeeper.  You have to be crazy or stupid, preferably both.

[Drygioni]

You're most likely all long past caring, but like the lone operator of a forgotten funfair I continue to beg for your attention and hope beyoned hope you become interested in something that will seem pointless to you. I then cry as you shun my efforts. Moving on:

Seeding placements

Most of you: You are Seed 9 in the World Cup! Well done. You did very well last time, and your dear leader even called the American team. I will be supporting them in matches because you guys are pretty awesome.

Doc: Australia are seeded 28. I'm as shocked as you.

Roger: I am sorry you do not enjoy football, but your team is predictably Number 1. Have fun with the unofficial national holidays.

England are seeded 2, which is complete bollocks. We hardly deserve to be in the top 10 at all, I think they just put us that high as a joke to make all of England cry salty tears into their lager as Germany beat us AGAIN.

Pestering over. Have a lovely day!

[Carlos del Vaca]

Most of you: You are Seed 9 in the World Cup! Well done. You did very well last time, and your dear leader even called the American team. I will be supporting them in matches because you guys are pretty awesome.

Yeah, but that seeding is kind of a joke, considering that so much of our world rank comes from our success in our region, which includes precisely two fairly decent teams.  Easy to pile up a gaudy record when you're whoopin' up on the likes of Trinadad & Tobago or St. Vincent & the Grenadines.

[AlohaDawg]

St. Vincent & the Grenadines.

They let lounge bands play in the World Cup?

[pmcd9]

They let lounge bands play in the World Cup?

*rimshot*

[littlefallsmets]

It is a sport entirely for children here.

Well... I mean, that makes total sense.

Maybe the most fun game in the world to actually be playing and maybe the most boring sport in the world to be watching, in my opinion, it makes perfect sense that the only people interested in it are the people playing it and the people who are forced to show up with them because they're kids.

Pong can be fun to play, too, but man is it dull to watch, you know?

Back... bounce bounce... forth... bounce bounce... back... bounce bounce... forth.

Americans ultimately need sports with lots of intermediate statistics because we're stat-heads and we love measuring up performances against each other. At the end of the day, the only significant stats in soccer are... shots on goal and goals made. Did the player kick the ball in or not, did the goalie block the ball going in or not? Everything else is just, like, people kicking a ball around.

Football has yards and attempts and passes and all sorts of neat stats between scoring and not-scoring that you can crunch and weigh and debate. Baseball's got hits and extra base hits and walks and strikeouts and averages and ERA and onbasepercentages and all sorts of other things to yammer about. Basketball, not so much, but there's so much scoring to be done that we can make other stats from it.

But soccer and hockey, the two sports that keep trying to woo America and never pull it off... you got shots made, shots missed and MAYBE assists and... that's it. America wants numbers, America wants mile-markers, America wants two pages of numbers explaining the gradual steps between victory and defeat so that we can pick them apart and discern the patterns.

If you give us "Yeah, they tried ten times to score, one guy did, the other guys tried fifteen times, two did... and the rest of it, dudes were kinda kicking something around for a while" we're gonna glaze over. I don't know what this says about American psychology, but there we are.

[Drygioni]

This person knows their stuff

I don't know if you stole that from somewhere, but it is nonetheless an excellent theory and well presented. It would also explain why Britain prefers rugby and football to your crazy games. In England, you have sports to get needlessly emotional over with your mates. In America, you also have sports to get needlessly emotional over with your buddies.

I think the difference is why people get emotional. In England, it's generally pride; rarely if ever are a teams or players statistics used as a way of getting one up on a Liverpool supporter. There is no one way to prove a team was better than the other in an individual match, because of the very low amount of conclusive stats you can use. In America, you have all these in-depth stats anyone can use to prove 'we were on average better than you in that match', and the other person has no comeback.

Another huge difference is the value of goals/hits/touchdowns. In football, a game with no goals scored is a very common scenario. One flukey goal can give the poorer team the win; therefore, because your team scored more goals doesn't mean you were 'better', as there are just too few goals scored and it's not a real representation of the team's skill. In American Football so many touchdowns are scored that the real nature of the team's abilities is more apparent. If the score is 2-1 in a football match and 60-45 (whatever) in American football, you can see what I mean.

I still stand by the fact that football is NOT boring to watch. Now, as for baseball..

Also: Cricket is the exception to this England-like-simple-sports rule: I don't get cricket. But in Britain people generally fall between either cricket supporting or football supporting, so yet again different mindsets.