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Author Topic: A New Movie Rating System  (Read 6247 times)

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melack

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A New Movie Rating System
« on: June 03, 2006, 01:30:21 am »

I've created a new system for rating movies, and I'd like to share it with you. It's what I call Value Over Big (VOB). It's unlike the thumbs up or the number of stars rating systems in that it employs the use of a specific film, the 1988 Tom Hanks comedy about a boy who magically grows into a man overnight, as a baseline for comparing other movies. A film that I find to be worse than Big will receive a negative numerical score, while a film that I find superior to Big receives a positive score.

For example, the original Star Wars receives a 26.3 VOB. It's one of history's great films, and its score reflects that. However, a movie that I only barely liked more than Big, the 1977 Paul Newman hockey comedy Slap Shot, managed a 1.7 VOB. The Da Vinci code, another Tom Hanks movie and one I recently reviewed here, scored a -9.2 VOB. To give more context, the Scary Movie series ranges in score from -34.6 to -52.9.

What are the advantages of this rating system? As far as I can tell, there are none.

The disadvantages are numerous. Firstly, and most glaring, Big is not an average film. Indeed, it is a very good film. Therefore the baseline is not an average or a neutral one, but instead quite arbitrary. This leads to confusing rating systems where a perfectly good movie might very possibly receive a negative score. The classic Hitchcock film, Vertigo, for example--a prefectly fine movie--scored just a -0.8 VOB. Furthermore, there is no paramater to the number system. Each number is assigned a score relative to other movies I have seen, with no limits on either the positive or negative ends of the spectrum. As opinions of movies change over time, this causes a tremendous strain on the integrity of other scores closesly located on the VOB scale. Like a giant spiderweb, each score is closely related, and one shifting opinion is akin to a string breeze that causes the web to flap uncontrollably in the wind.

So, you might be asking yourselves why I would come up with such an ureliable movie rating system. The answer is simple: I felt modern movie discourse had gotten to the point where it wasn't focusing enough attention on Big. What better way to solve that error than by creating a movie rating system where everyone must constantly remember and analyze the merits of Big in comparison to the film one has just viewed? It rightly transforms Big from a cinematic memory into the very essence of the moviegoing experience. Though highly unreliable and largely uninformative, it is a sacrifice we must make as viewers and citizens.
« Last Edit: June 03, 2006, 01:21:56 pm by side_show »
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AugustWest

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Re: A New Move Rating System
« Reply #1 on: June 03, 2006, 01:57:29 am »

I give it a 7.  It has a nice beat and you can dance to it.
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CortJstr

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Re: A New Move Rating System
« Reply #2 on: June 03, 2006, 02:28:05 am »

Thumbs in the middle
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side_show

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Re: A New Movie Rating System
« Reply #3 on: June 03, 2006, 01:29:02 pm »

Melack, it's kind of cute that you put so much thought into this.  I actually think "Big" is a good choice.  It's not a bad movie, but it's pretty middle-of-the-road in terms of greatness. 

Also, I found the underlying love story a little on the perv-ish/pedophilic side, and I wonder how this fits in to your rating system?

(I hope you don't mind, but I corrected your typo: in the thread title you wrote "move" when you clearly meant "movie."  Also, did you know we have a spell check feature?  I tell you this un-sarcastically - your post is readable, but does have typos in it that would be easily fixed by running her through the old spell checker.)
« Last Edit: June 03, 2006, 08:26:28 pm by side_show »
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pmcd9

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Re: A New Movie Rating System
« Reply #4 on: June 03, 2006, 05:25:31 pm »

Vertigo -0.8 VOB?  Inconceivable!

~Paul
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Mite

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Re: A New Movie Rating System
« Reply #5 on: June 03, 2006, 05:47:32 pm »

Vertigo -0.8 VOB?  Inconceivable!

~Paul

Seconded!
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Re: A New Movie Rating System
« Reply #6 on: June 03, 2006, 09:18:04 pm »

Thumbs down on a system that is even more subjective than most systems because it all depends on whether you liked a particular movie or not.

Vertigo -.8 indeed.

Pffffft.
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V-Adore

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Re: A New Movie Rating System
« Reply #7 on: June 03, 2006, 10:51:13 pm »

To be fair, Vertigo and Big share one important trait: total cop-out endings.

Otherwise, I like it. Maybe I'll start using the VOB system or start thinking about my own version of the system, based on a movie I like but don't worship. (Maybe VOPB, Value Over Princess Bride...)
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misterqueue

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Re: A New Movie Rating System
« Reply #8 on: June 04, 2006, 01:19:56 am »

Man, I don't want to start a war or anything, but I don't think I would ever say Star Wars is one of history's great films without busting out in laughter.  I mean, yeah, first to use amazing special effects and whatnot, but when you get down to it, it's a kids movie.  Lots of fun?  Yes.  History's Great Movie?  My vote goes to no. 


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Re: A New Movie Rating System
« Reply #9 on: June 04, 2006, 01:41:39 am »

Man, I don't want to start a war or anything, but I don't think I would ever say Star Wars is one of history's great films without busting out in laughter.  I mean, yeah, first to use amazing special effects and whatnot, but when you get down to it, it's a kids movie.  Lots of fun?  Yes.  History's Great Movie?  My vote goes to no. 


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Ahem, and fangirls.
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miles

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Re: A New Movie Rating System
« Reply #10 on: June 04, 2006, 01:45:03 am »

And distribution companies with a really shitty movie to push can pick an even shittier movie and plug it into the formula, and it will look that much better.

I like it too.

Also, I agree with Q on Star Wars, but!  There are at least a few kids movies I would consider some of history's greatest.
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wombat

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Re: A New Movie Rating System
« Reply #11 on: June 04, 2006, 01:53:49 am »

my own version of the system, based on a movie I like but don't worship.

Yes, this is the right idea.  Now if only I could think of a movie I like.
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AugustWest

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Re: A New Movie Rating System
« Reply #12 on: June 04, 2006, 02:56:58 am »

Man, I don't want to start a war or anything, but I don't think I would ever say Star Wars is one of history's great films without busting out in laughter.  I mean, yeah, first to use amazing special effects and whatnot, but when you get down to it, it's a kids movie.  Lots of fun?  Yes.  History's Great Movie?  My vote goes to no. 


*ducks from all the fanboys*

Why can it not be a great movie just because it's fun?  Are greatness and fun mutually exclusive?  Can there be no great kids movies?

What are your criteria for greatness?
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theinevitable

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Re: A New Movie Rating System
« Reply #13 on: June 04, 2006, 06:32:29 am »

um dude, star wars is brilliant. it takes the archetypes of the hero, and applies them to Science Fiction.
Me, a few of my friends, and my favorite english teacher will War you on this.

also, Hobot.
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misterqueue

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Re: A New Movie Rating System
« Reply #14 on: June 04, 2006, 12:10:54 pm »

um dude, star wars is brilliant. it takes the archetypes of the hero, and applies them to Science Fiction.
Me, a few of my friends, and my favorite english teacher will War you on this.

also, Hobot.

Oh right.  I forgot that mixing two things which already existed makes something BRILLIANT!  Fuck Joseph Campbell man, seriously.

You leave Hobot out of this, I will deal with her... personally.  <ominous music>

AW:  I think a "Great Movie" can be fun sure, but at the same time, I'm less inclined to categorize it as such if that's all there is to it.  I suppose I kind of see it like movie junk food.
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