Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

[linnea]

DAMMIT. So I'm single and living the rad life in Alaska, a land where the odds are good but the goods are odd if you know what I mean. Anyway, I was visiting my moms and telling her about the new baby that some of my friends have.

Me: "Well, at least I have ten to fifteen more years to have a kid. I have no idea how to prepare for that. Who knows when I'll be ready."
Mom: "But you don't have 10 more years! You're 27 already! I was DONE with menopause when I was 42! So was my mother! and her mother!"
Me: "But one of the women in my town had her first baby when she was 40, and the second at 42! And they're both awesome and healthy!"
Mom: "Honey, I don't want to scare you but you definitely don't have that much time."

Sweet angry jeezus. I asked her if she wanted me to run out and get knocked up just so she could have a grandchild, and that made her pretty mad.

Is this for real? Doesn't modern medicine have something they can do to postpone menopause? This is crazy. If we can put people on the moon and if 68-year-old Italian women can give birth, then dammit so should I! How much does it cost to bank some ova?

[Doc]

15k as of 2004, plus 40 bucks a month for storage.

As for delaying, it seems not, some people are kicking various ideas around regarding growing eggs from stem cells and similar but realistically it takes decade (usually closer to two) for a new drug to come to market so I wouldn't be holding my breath on being able to get people to grow you up new egg cells any time soon. And as far as I understand it hormone replacement therapy is only any good for the symptoms, not for pro-longing the baby making and apparently isn't such a great idea anymore anyway.

I'm sure I don't need to add this: But you can be a perfectly valid member of the human race without ever spawning, and doing it for it's own sake has always seemed like a bad idea for me (that said it seems to work out for most people so what do I know?).

 

[wombat]

Doesn't modern medicine have something they can give to moms so they don't pressure their children to have children that they are not ready to have?

[jough]

So what's wrong with running out and getting knocked up?

Do you hate your mother?  Do you not want to make major life changes just to make her happy?

Jeebus, Somebody nicetrousers.  What kind of a daughter are you?

[theinevitable]

hm.

I would say, 27 to 42 is a pretty good number of years.
there are plenty of chances to get to have a "bun in the oven" in that time.

[CortJstr]

Having children after age 40 is still fairly risky but it's way riskier to rush into something for no reason. You were engaged to to crap-dude at one point, don't end up with a crap baby-daddy.

But then I hate children with an intensity most people reserve for Hitler so you might want to ingore my advice in this realm.

[wombat]

You were engaged to to crap-dude at one point, don't end up with a crap baby-daddy.

Good point.  Cort may hate kids, but he's good at keeping track of what happened to the characters in previous episodes.

[pmcd9]

I hate children with an intensity most people reserve for Hitler

That's gross.

~Paul

[misterqueue]

My mom started mentioning stuff about this like 4 years ago.  I informed her that she also had a daughter who was planning on popping out mewling spawn like there was no tomorrow.  This did not work.

I told her that there were quite a number of people in the world already who had it basically pretty shitty and I didn't really feel like adding to that pool at the moment.  This did not work either.

I then told her exactly what sort of names I had in mind if I accidentally procreated in the near future.  That seemed to work pretty well as I haven't heard much about it since.  YMMV though, so you know, use it sparingly.

[CortJstr]

My mom started mentioning stuff about this like 4 years ago.  I informed her that she also had a daughter who was planning on popping out mewling spawn like there was no tomorrow.  This did not work.

I told her that there were quite a number of people in the world already who had it basically pretty shitty and I didn't really feel like adding to that pool at the moment.  This did not work either.

I then told her exactly what sort of names I had in mind if I accidentally procreated in the near future.  That seemed to work pretty well as I haven't heard much about it since.  YMMV though, so you know, use it sparingly.

See I'm an only child. I've been hearing about my parents wanting grandbabies since I was like 6. But I would make a horrible father because I just plain can't stand kids. I'm like the bad guy in a live-action Disney movie. Hell, I've never even seen a baby picture that I could call "cute" and those are silent.

Luckily the SO doesn't want kids either (although she at least has a healthier attitude towards them). So we're like a ZPG-credit for some family that has 4 kids.

[wombat]

So we're like a ZPG-credit for some family that has 4 kids.

Dang, we ought to be able to get money for that.

My mother never bugged me about this. I don't know if this is because of some innate good sense on her part, or whether she mentioned it once a long time ago that I don't remember and I bit her head off.  Seriously, I don't understand how someone who has children and knows what that entails, could possibly pressure someone to do it who's reluctant about it - you'd think that instead they'd tell you to think long and hard.  I guess they just can't imagine the state of not wanting children, and assume that as soon as you have one of your own, you'll see the light. Because it can't be that they want grandchildren who are unwanted by their parents, right?

[Drygioni]

I have lots of this sort of thing, just not about having kids (it's not like I need to contribute to Swindon's Highest Rate Of Pregnancy In Teens accolade.)

People from my very-Christian village keep asking if I am Christian yet. Like Wombat said about mothers, maybe it's hard for them to imagine being in a state of non-Christianity/non-motherhood, and don't understand why other people don't want God/bairns in their lives. They are creepy people but very nice.

My grandad keeps asking if I've got a girlfriend yet. I think he's afraid I'm turning out gay, as is the rest of my family. So it's always 'So son, ha'e ye got yerself a girl yet?' and then he punches me on the shoulder. I love my Scottish lineage.

But I needn't be forced into having kids, I have three strapping young brothers to fill out the grandkid quota. I'll just be the pyaner playin' bachelor.

[AlohaDawg]

Dang, we ought to be able to get money for that.

You will. We are making the taxpayers and social security contributors and the caregivers of tomorrow.

As for kids, if you don't want them, please don't make them.

If you aren't ready for them or don't feel like you can provide adequately don't make them.

If you have a plan where you expect to get ADC or WIC or some other program, don't make them.

If your entire reasoning is to get your mom off your back or save a relationship, don't make them.

I love kids - I have very rarely met a kid I didn't like. In general, they are energetic, honest and interesting to be around. However I have met many, many parents who I can't stand though.

As for banking, paying big bucks for fertility treatments after 40, etc...I find the whole baby creating industry kind of unnatural, but I also know some really wonderful people who were in their 20s and 30s who had to resort to treatments to have kids, and they are great parents and great families. I also suspect some of the celebrity moms out there have an 'accessorizing' mindset when they have high-profile pregnancies and children with weird names.

Just be you, Somebody nice. If that you doesn't have kids, your mom will have to deal with that. If your mom is that type that will overparent you, parent your parenting, and counter-parent your kid, don't do it within 1000 miles of her.

[theinevitable]

my parents know I love kids, so they assume this will translate into grandkids.

I think I probably will have kids. But not while I'm young... I'll wait 'til I'm older. that seems the most reasonable thing to do.

although, the kind of ladies I seem to fall for are always anti-kid (not like I ask them. as in "I hate babies and children with a fervor")

I constantly get "when you have kids..." comments. it makes me laugh.

we also learned in bio class that one american child uses the resources that like 100 third-world-country kids would. So maybe it's better to not have kids.

[AlohaDawg]

My grandad keeps asking if I've got a girlfriend yet. I think he's afraid I'm turning out gay, as is the rest of my family. So it's always 'So son, ha'e ye got yerself a girl yet?' and then he punches me on the shoulder. I love my Scottish lineage.

I initially read this to mean turning out gay like the rest of your family. I assume that isn't right.

You should ask him if he's tried sex with men yet. That ought to be worth a punch in the shoulder. Or tell him you do, and she's saving up for her operation so you can consummate the relationship.

As for the Christian thing, it's a little odd to ask someone if they are a Christian 'yet'. I've never heard the question put that way.