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[side_show]

Okay, I know what the SAT's are - some sort of standardized testing in the U.S., right?  But what's this about an extended time room?  Are you being metaphorical, like there's a room at your school where time seems to go slower (this was the Math room for me), or do certain dummies get more time?  If so, wouldn't that cancel out the fact that the results are supposed to be standardized?

[melack]

I would like to officially withdraw my negative comments about today's comic. The picture of Ray in the first panel makes me laugh more and more every time I look at it. I know it's a recycled position, but it's still funny. From now on, whenever I want to make a point, I'm going to hunch over slightly and point violently towards the ground with my index finger, while at the same time resting my other hand on my belly.

[theinevitable]

it was a room for people with major huge problems.
like: they did not have a time limit. They had to wait until every person had finished the section.

she was there for something like 7 hours.

yeah, we figured that those kids could have done better than everyone else, because they could take as much time as they wanted. Lame.

also: one girl kept asking questions (which is not allowed) until the woman started essentially telling her the correct answers.

[ndpatel]

i would just like to to point out that like any good student, teodor probably eliminated two of the four possible answers on his first pass.

what we're seeing here is the 50/50 struggle: trying to pick between two answers in which you have zero confidence.

[Ben-San]

If you have certain learning disabilities you are put in the extended-time room for most of the major standardized tests. This is most important for the AP exams where you have to hand-write an essay. If you are dyslexic or otherwise have a Problem that negatively impacts your handwriting speed, you would be penalized for a Problem that does not actually impact what is supposed to be tested since the test is supposed to be about your ability to compose an essay and not your ability to write it down quickly.

The time limit on the SATs is intended to be a little longer than they expect an average test-taker to need if he proceeds sensibly. If you actually have too little time to fill out all the questions, it is presumed that you are either not proceeding sensibly and briskly or you are spending a very long time chewing over questions you do not actually know the answers to. This is why everyone tells you to skip the questions you don't know and go back to them later; because that way, any questions you don't have time to fill out accurately are the ones you do not know.

For my part, I had to go in a different special room where they force you to stay at the test until the standard time limit is up. This is for the kids with serious ADHD who they think will otherwise just knock on random answers when they get bored and waste everyone's time. I got 1600 though so fuck 'em.

[side_show]

Wow, those are some insane testing practices.  The only thing I knew about SAT's before today, I learned back in the day from "Saved By The Bell" and "Blossom," and this is that they are important tests that somehow effect getting into a good college.  And that there are strange analogies like "Puppy is to dog as kitten is to _________" on the test. 

I'm glad that I didn't have to take any standardize testing in my highschool - it sounds stressful and scary.  I can't even imagine how weird and ostracizing it would be to be isolated as part of a special group that went to some special room to write the same test as everyone else.  I'd probably have been sent to some room for unpopular weirdos for sure - "oh, you're in the creative thinking room.  Good luck with that." 

I'm guessing that if you went to a school that warrented an entire room for various groups of students, that you probably went to a much larger school than any of the ones we have around here, and even that idea is foreign to me.  Basically, I had no idea if my fellow student was dyslexic or hyperactive because everyone was fully integrated into the same classes.  My graduating class had about 75 people, and my entire highschool had around 450 students.  I even went to a small University of around 3000 students, and because I studied such a specialized degree, most of my exams were either in a room with 12-30 other students, or were a final project worked on over time.

[AlohaDawg]

I'm glad that I didn't have to take any standardize testing in my highschool - it sounds stressful and scary. 

Because they are national tests, they are only given on certain days and given en masse. You might not even see people from your HS in the testing room depending on when you scheduled your test. So your peers may not see the circumstances under which you took the test.

[Ben-San]

My high school was indeed huge. Framingham, MA is the largest town in the United States (in technical terms, that is; all the other communities of its size are incorporated as cities rather than towns, with attendant differences in governmental structure (correction: Hempstead, NY is larger with 755,000 residents and also has a town government)) and it only has one public high school, which as a result has more students than many small colleges. Since it is so huge, all the standardized tests were administered at the school itself.

I always quite enjoyed standardized tests, possibly because I do well on them.

[side_show]

Because they are national tests, they are only given on certain days and given en masse. You might not even see people from your HS in the testing room depending on when you scheduled your test. So your peers may not see the circumstances under which you took the test.

Ohh!  That explains it.

Also, Ben-San - since you liked test taking, and are bragging that you do well on them, what answer is the correct one?  Which vehicle is the one to choose?

[theinevitable]

yeah, I, too, am an "underachiever" who does wonderfully on standardized tests (ie: underachiever because my actual grades do not reflect these supposed smarts).

and also: yes, around here you end up at some random highschool which you do not attend for these tests.

and they don't have the analogies any more, which really ticked me off. I was good at those.

[Ben-San]

Also, Ben-San - since you liked test taking, and are bragging that you do well on them, what answer is the correct one?  Which vehicle is the one to choose?

As the test is "virtually impossible to cheat", it presumably takes the test-taker's awareness of the obvious symbolism of its answers into account. Therefore these answers will as well. It should be underlined that in psychological tests there are no right or wrong answers, only normal and crazy answers.

The options divide neatly into two sets: The Oscar Meyer Wienermobile/ZZ Top Eliminator set and the Audi R10/L'Oreal Bugatti set. The Wienermobile and the Eliminator are both effectively "art cars"; they are not things you would choose for their quality as vehicles, but rather for aesthetic value and media associations, while the R10 and Bugatti are both racing machines.

The Wienermobile's obvious association is with having or desiring a huge dong with wheels on it, but due to the test's aforementioned presumable self-awareness of design, it will presume that any test-taker knows this and has chosen the Wienermobile to illustrate, in a self-deprecating manner, his own sense of humor about the size of his c*ck and his feelings about his c*ck. It is probably not the right answer.

The ZZ Top Eliminator, on the other hand, indicates.. well, it indicates that you really like ZZ Top. I'm not even sure what that would mean, but I kind of like ZZ Top, so I will leave it in the running.

The R10 and the Bugatti both seem to indicate the prioritization of performance over showmanship. The Audi R10 is a current machine which has won the only races in which it has appeared; it is at the cutting edge of racing technology. Bugatti, on the other hand, while a legendary name in the field of racing, is best-known for its performance in the first half of the century; while it still competes it is known as an "old man" of the field. Moreover, it is the Lotion Awareness Bugatti. The R10 is a very in-the-moment speed demon while the Bugatti indicates both a respect for the legends and a self-confidence in your Badassness even when driving a L'Oreal Group Lotion Awareness-branded vehicle. I would call the Bugatti the obvious Cornelius choice, and we've seen his performance dominate the field to date, but I wouldn't put it past the old man to surprise us somehow.

I would essentially consider it a choice between the Eliminator and the Bugatti, and I have more confidence in the Bugatti than the Eliminator. If the Bugatti turns out to be the wrong choice, it will be because the Bugatti name is now owned by Volkswagon and therefore the Lotion Awareness Bugatti cannot be considered a true Bugatti; in that case the Eliminator or the R10 will be the leading choices. The Wienermobile only competes if this is a trick question that I have failed to perceive; this is quite possible as the test is almost impossible to cheat.

[theinevitable]

hm.

my favorite kind of tests are the empirically constructed ones. where any question that has been shown to have a statistical correlation is included.

not that i've ever seen one. I just love the idea.

[MattFish]

HERE ARE YOUR NUMBER TWO PENCILS

I would personally pick the extremely fast audi but the scientific response to that answer equals exactly "compensating for a specific lack". I'm curious as to what lotion awareness is.

If the Bugatti turns out to be the wrong choice, it will be because the Bugatti name is now owned by Volkswagon and therefore the Lotion Awareness Bugatti cannot be considered a true Bugatti; in that case the Eliminator or the R10 will be the leading choices.

Considering that Audi is also Volkswagen, in a contest between two exorbitantly expensive Volkswagens, do we instantly lose?

I CAN'T STOP EDITING MY POST.

The options divide neatly into two sets: The Oscar Meyer Wienermobile/ZZ Top Eliminator set and the Audi R10/L'Oreal Bugatti set. The Wienermobile and the Eliminator are both effectively "art cars"; they are not things you would choose for their quality as vehicles, but rather for aesthetic value and media associations, while the R10 and Bugatti are both racing machines.

Let's draw a simple matrix.

                     Slow ----------------> Fast

Bad-Ass   :  ZZTop Ford               Audi R10
      ^
      |
Wussy-Ass:  Weinermobile           Lotion Bugatti

[colmore]

Lyle: ZZ Top Ford, which he would be too respectful of to drive intoxicated, and thus it would sit forever on blocks in his yard, sometimes with the man himself passed out in its backseat.
Vlad: Wienermobile  "For ladies.  Promise of laughter now, and alluring hint of what to come."
Cornelius: Bugatti "Not only does it show an appreciation for fine Italian engineering and design, but proper skin care is neither unmanly nor in any way laughing matter."
Teodore: I think he'll wind up going with the R10, it fits his latent rockstar ambitions and all.  I can see The Edge at least renting time on a track with Jay Leno to scoot around in one of these.
Pat: Scrawled benieth the question: "Recumbant bio-ethanol mo-ped."  (I can't really guess what's going to be on the rest of this test, but I think Pat's going to have a "none of the above" for everything.


I'm liking this little arc more and more.  It's a nice way of nodding to the GOF.  Beef and Ray, having razed the manliest competition in the known universe nigh a few months prior, obviously have the authority to determine the metric by which badassedness is judged.

Also http://images.google.com/images?hl=en&q=bugatti&btnG=Google+Search&sa=N&tab=wi Bugattis are beautiful cars man.  It's nice to see a sports car that isn't basically a c*ck.

[Hobot]

Why does this even need to be asked?  If I am offered an Audi, I will gladly take said Audi.  And it will be the happiest day of my life.

Come on, people.  This is not hard.