Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
Advanced search  

News:

@achewood Today's sad thing: A reeking tweaker couple looking in the gas station freezer for "that pizza that was good in the microwave last time."

Pages: 1 [2] 3 4   Go Down

Author Topic: Last Meal  (Read 9255 times)

0 Members and 2 Guests are viewing this topic.

side_show

  • Sweet Fancy Moses
  • Mod Squad
  • Philippe is standing on it.
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 501
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Female
  • Posts: 6487
    • View Profile
Re: Last Meal
« Reply #15 on: July 11, 2006, 09:29:39 pm »

wombat - this is your last meal:  you can order the pizza and the Chinese food.

AD - I agree, I was originally thinking my order would be for nothing too, but if it were my last day on earth, I think I would want to taste food, probably comfort food.  (I can't help but notice most of the prisioners in the book chose things that the probably ate as a kid.)

Mr & Judy - from what I see, inmates don't seem to be allowed to order booze, but otherwise those are pretty smart choices.

I still have no idea what I'd want.

Logged
Abuse of power comes as no surprise.

AugustWest

  • Over Easy
  • Philosopher King
  • Dude since Knucklehead times
  • *
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 774
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 10549
  • Bulbous, also tapered.
    • View Profile
Re: Last Meal
« Reply #16 on: July 11, 2006, 09:35:08 pm »

Spinach.

You get a tiny can (of spinach) for that one.
Logged
Infinitely vast, infinitely detailed.

wombat

  • English-Speaking Pizza
  • Moderator
  • Dude since Knucklehead times
  • *
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 644
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 12493
  • Yeah man, these are pugs, not some fuck*ng lolcat.
    • View Profile
Re: Last Meal
« Reply #17 on: July 11, 2006, 09:36:20 pm »

wombat - this is your last meal:  you can order the pizza and the Chinese food.


No, I could never do that, they would be yucky together.

And there is definitely no chance I'd accidentally be eating them both when the ten-ton weight came down.
Logged
What is this, the fuckin' Algonquin Round Table or some shit?  - Nabu

If you're going to change your life then you have to change it every day, not just the days the world isn't taking a shit on you. -Doc

smick

  • -=Ray=-
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 1351
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 1437
  • MasturBot 342: ONLINE
    • View Profile
Re: Last Meal
« Reply #18 on: July 11, 2006, 10:13:25 pm »

I once answered this question, and it largely depends on what the death penalty in the particular area is.   If I was sentenced to death by electric chair, I would want my last meal to be 3 cups of popcorn kernels.

Then… they would be all "Any last words?"
I’d be all "Yes."
Then they’d be all "What is it?"

"You shoulda brought some butter."  Then, POW! Popcorn everywhere.
Logged

misterqueue

  • Sick Fuck
  • VIP
  • R I S O T T O ?
  • *
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 25
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 2011
  • I can do anything I want. And so can you.
    • View Profile
    • A Reason for Diseasin'
Re: Last Meal
« Reply #19 on: July 11, 2006, 10:18:44 pm »

I once answered this question, and it largely depends on what the death penalty in the particular area is.   If I was sentenced to death by electric chair, I would want my last meal to be 3 cups of popcorn kernels.

Then… they would be all "Any last words?"
I’d be all "Yes."
Then they’d be all "What is it?"

"You shoulda brought some butter."  Then, POW! Popcorn everywhere.

Dammit smick, on an unrelated note, your image has always looked like Shatner just furiously trying to jerk a dude off into his face.   I hope this was on purpose.  If not I can take solace in the fact that I've now ruined it for EVERYone.
Logged
So it's satire, is it?  Well that changes everything!

Lockjaw is serious times.

smick

  • -=Ray=-
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 1351
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 1437
  • MasturBot 342: ONLINE
    • View Profile
Re: Last Meal
« Reply #20 on: July 11, 2006, 10:20:51 pm »

Oh man... that just makes the avatar better for me. 
Logged

pmcd9

  • Mod Squad
  • Dude since Knucklehead times
  • *
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 608
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 12778
  • The Kid is up to no good
    • View Profile
Re: Last Meal
« Reply #21 on: July 11, 2006, 10:32:09 pm »

Dammit smick, your avatar has always looked like Shatner just furiously trying to jerk a dude off into his face.   I hope this was on purpose.

I assumed it to be.

~Paul
Logged
I hope I never have to refer to a scone in spoken conversation.

theinevitable

  • Writer's Workshoppers
  • Dude since Knucklehead times
  • *
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 486
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 12139
    • View Profile
    • tweet tweet fun fun
Re: Last Meal
« Reply #22 on: July 11, 2006, 11:10:49 pm »

man, that popcorn thing is brilliant.

Logged
Social pressures exist
And if you think about them all of the time
You're gonna find that your head's been kicked in
You're gonna do it all for the grind

Choop

  • Mod Squad
  • LAZARUS, Tasseled Loafer of the Powerful
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 1010
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 4260
  • www dot at rick and morty dot com www
    • View Profile
Re: Last Meal
« Reply #23 on: July 12, 2006, 12:28:49 am »

Okay, for reals this time:

  • Aperitif cocktail: a margarita of Patron or Herradurra, Meyer Lemons, Key Limes, and a dash each of Gran Marnier and Angostura Bitters.
  • Salad: Baby spinach and snapped green beans with a warm dressing of minced garlic and pancetta, extra virgin olive oil, 25-year balsamic vinegar, and an egg. Accompanied by Persimmon Creek 2001 Seyval Blanc.
  • Entree: Delmonico steak with a thyme and tarragon aioli, paired with a Don Melchor 2003 or 1995 Malbec.
  • Pallete cleanser: Peach, kiwi, and pistachio gelati, with any bottle of Veuve Clicquot.
  • Bonus entree: Hand-tossed pizza margherita, using only the authentic ingredients: 00 flour, crushed roma tomatoes, fresh minced basil, and fresh, hand-made bufala mozzarella. 1973 Rothschild Pinot Noir; failing that bottle, any reasonable Barbera d'Alba will suffice.
  • Dessert: Mom's lemon meringue pie, with a snifter of La Strega and two cups of medium-roast Blue Mountain (no blends, damnit).

Here I have to concede that the last thing I want to eat is in fact pussy. There just can't be a better sendoff than that.
Logged
Nobody exists on purpose; nobody belongs anywhere; everybody's gonna die. Come watch TV?

Mite

  • Motel 6 Kind of Girl
  • King of the Make-Outs
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 6
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Female
  • Posts: 584
    • View Profile
Re: Last Meal
« Reply #24 on: July 12, 2006, 12:54:47 am »

Crawgiraffe and Blue Crab with a shrimp po' boy flown in from this great little place in Pascagoula (assuming it's still there), with fresh sweet corn, a greek salad, sourdough bread, and a root beer float made with ice cream from the University of Wisconsin dairy. Oh, with a side of a nice scotch - aged in a port wine barrel, if possible. I think that'd do it.

Sad thing is, from the lists I've read, the poor guys (and gals) have to choose off of the regular prison menu. So you get dudes eating a burger with chicken fingers for their last meal. There's a website somewhere that lists all the last meals of texas inmates in a more concise form than the one Keith gave. Pretty depressing.

Oh, here it is. Props to the guy who requested world peace.
Logged
I'm no longer a Bankhead teacher, but I'll still take your cookies.

Drygioni

  • formerly Judy
  • VIP
  • Onstad's Left Shoe
  • *
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 194
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 1796
    • View Profile
    • FACEBOOK
Re: Last Meal
« Reply #25 on: July 12, 2006, 01:00:37 am »

Sweet Christ. This is fascinating. I am going through every member of this morbid list, looking at the last meals and the information of each individual prisoner. Some of it's heartbreaking; the ones who had nothing or eat the same meal as everyone else just strikes me as tragic.
Logged
I am sorry for my behaviour last night.

side_show

  • Sweet Fancy Moses
  • Mod Squad
  • Philippe is standing on it.
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 501
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Female
  • Posts: 6487
    • View Profile
Re: Last Meal
« Reply #26 on: July 12, 2006, 01:09:15 am »

One of the many times I saw Henry Rollins do spoken word, he went on for at least an hour about what a lovely man William Shatner is (because he is Canadian).  I have to agree.  Even commercials prove me right.  What other celebrity cares as to whether you have regular bowel movements or not?*

*wait, do they air those commercials in the US?

Logged
Abuse of power comes as no surprise.

AugustWest

  • Over Easy
  • Philosopher King
  • Dude since Knucklehead times
  • *
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 774
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 10549
  • Bulbous, also tapered.
    • View Profile
Re: Last Meal
« Reply #27 on: July 12, 2006, 01:11:12 am »

I was surprised by how many wanted liver and onions.  One of my favorites, but I didn't think it was very popular.  Also, quite a few had breakfast food.
Logged
Infinitely vast, infinitely detailed.

wombat

  • English-Speaking Pizza
  • Moderator
  • Dude since Knucklehead times
  • *
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 644
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 12493
  • Yeah man, these are pugs, not some fuck*ng lolcat.
    • View Profile
Re: Last Meal
« Reply #28 on: July 12, 2006, 01:11:30 am »

Wow. They're like amazing, tragic little short stories. The guy who wants just the relish tray and grilled cheese sandwiches and the one who declined a meal and then ate a hamburger at his mother's request. The ones who ordered almost everything on the menu and the one who just ate fruit and coconut and the one who just ate Cool Whip and cherries.  Wow.

You know, I kind of like the idea of having to choose from the regular menu.  Takes the pressure off.  The fried chicken seems like the obvious place to start.  And onion rings.
Logged
What is this, the fuckin' Algonquin Round Table or some shit?  - Nabu

If you're going to change your life then you have to change it every day, not just the days the world isn't taking a shit on you. -Doc

linnea

  • VIP
  • Ocular Shenanigans
  • *
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 168
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Female
  • Posts: 3332
    • View Profile
Re: Last Meal
« Reply #29 on: July 12, 2006, 03:00:32 am »

Sad thing is, from the lists I've read, the poor guys (and gals) have to choose off of the regular prison menu. So you get dudes eating a burger with chicken fingers for their last meal. There's a website somewhere that lists all the last meals of texas inmates in a more concise form than the one Keith gave. Pretty depressing.

Yeah, if you're on Death Row I doubt that the Taxpayers are going to spring for filet mignon or even Arby's. Maybe you could have a friend or loved one bring you your last meal? If so then I'd have my sisters bring me some hella tasty Indian vegetable korma with an order of Naan bread and some kheer (rice pudding with cardamom) for dessert. Then I'd also want a few chilly Stellas. That would be a good last meal.

If I was on Death Row and if I had to order something from the prison kitchen then I'd just go without a meal. Well, maybe I'd get some chicken strips and french fries. I'm just saying that because I'm back on the Hacker's Diet and I'm fuck*ng hungry. Yesterday I had 1125 calories and took an 8-mile hike out to this really pretty waterfall. Today I did a 25 minute stint on the elliptical and had an extravagant 2,200 calories. We'll see how tomorrow goes.

Also, can you imagine being a mother and hearing that your son is going to be executed? And that he refused his final meal because he is going to die anyway? And then you tearfully say, "Sweetie, at least have a hamburger. I worry about you." Damn. I'm getting all choked up at that thought. And now after today's comic I'm looking up at my light fixture on the ceiling and waiting for the ambient breezes to dry the tears that are welling in my eyes.  THE SADDEST THING.


((EDIT))
Man, look at those guys, rapists and murderers and in their "sincerity" they list "world peace" or "request that my last meal be given to a homeless person." How ironic that they would learn about kindness and mercy only after killing someone and spending hard time in prison. And asking that your last meal be the Eucharist/Sacrament? Damn, maybe you should have read about Baby Jesus before you decided to stab two people to death. Call me hypocritical, but I don't give a fuck about these guys who have a "change of heart" in jail. Yeah, fine, the church takes my tithe and prints up "Christ the Prisoner" pamphlets for guys in jail. There's nothing more infurating than some sick fuck who decides to deprive someone else of life and liberty, and then smugly proclaim that he has been Forgiven by God. Man, fuck you.

« Last Edit: July 12, 2006, 03:59:49 am by linnea »
Logged
Pages: 1 [2] 3 4   Go Up