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@achewood Is eaten food technically rotting inside you? It's pretty warm in there. Technically, we all not only live in, but *are* "the danger zone."

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Author Topic: "okay," said the police chief. (9-14-06)  (Read 10305 times)

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theinevitable

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Re: "okay," said the police chief. (9-14-06)
« Reply #15 on: September 14, 2006, 04:20:55 pm »

...why did my link not work? I am not sure what is going on.
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Social pressures exist
And if you think about them all of the time
You're gonna find that your head's been kicked in
You're gonna do it all for the grind

Drygioni

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Re: "okay," said the police chief. (9-14-06)
« Reply #16 on: September 14, 2006, 04:31:00 pm »

S'funny, because I just spent the former half of the afternoon helping our kid with his English. Despite having no school aged children of his own, Onstad's pretty much nailed the way little kids write.

Spartan dialogue? Check. Completely illogical deus ex machinas that the kid never even bats an eye at? Check. Flexible supporting characters who let the hero do what the hell he wants? Check. Check, check, check ad nauseum.

Luckily for us, Phillipe had both the benefit of a neat word processer and excellent grammar. If only this could have been true for the young one today, I might have been doing something fun for an hour.

A* strip. Particularly liked the ending of The Case of the Mystery and the author's subsquent dash to find more fun things to do.
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CortJstr

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Re: "okay," said the police chief. (9-14-06)
« Reply #17 on: September 14, 2006, 04:42:52 pm »

...why did my link not work? I am not sure what is going on.

I think your forgot to paste. Because here's was I saw

Code: [Select]
[url=http://]"It was his signature drink. He craved the stuff."[/url]
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V-Adore

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Re: "okay," said the police chief. (9-14-06)
« Reply #18 on: September 14, 2006, 05:07:45 pm »

In retrospect, I think the detail I like the most about this is the "signature drink" lines, which show off something very typical of kid-writing: awareness that genre cliches exist, and desire to use them ("hard-boiled detectives ALWAYS have signature drinks!"), without any understanding of what they actually mean or how to use them. I think I've seen it more in kid attempts at fantasy and sci-fi (where there are always elves and/or spaceships despite the fact that there isn't anything for them to do), but this implementation is perfect.
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dejavroom

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Re: "okay," said the police chief. (9-14-06)
« Reply #19 on: September 14, 2006, 05:49:13 pm »

Also the concept of a "driving leg" amuses me moderately. "Ow my DRIVING LEG shoot can't DRIVE anymore skidding OW"
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scrimp

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Re: "okay," said the police chief. (9-14-06)
« Reply #20 on: September 14, 2006, 06:06:32 pm »

This strip was peaches all over, I'm going to go read it again. EDIT: Done!
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ghostwriter

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Re: "okay," said the police chief. (9-14-06)
« Reply #21 on: September 14, 2006, 07:00:04 pm »

I think Mr. Bear looks concerned because it's his typewriter Philippe's pounding on.

So many good stuff in this strip, indeed. What about rolling down a plane window to talk to the pilot?
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robot_god

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Re: "okay," said the police chief. (9-14-06)
« Reply #22 on: September 14, 2006, 09:05:27 pm »

Q is spinning in his grave.
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ACHIEVE

jough

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Re: "okay," said the police chief. (9-14-06)
« Reply #23 on: September 14, 2006, 09:25:00 pm »

Ash, you're the one always threatening to stab people.

Q would be more like "OH THAT TYPERITER IS H0TT I WANT TO FUKK THAT TIPEWRYTER"

theinevitable

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Re: "okay," said the police chief. (9-14-06)
« Reply #24 on: September 14, 2006, 09:46:28 pm »

so, yeah. that was a shitty link. sorry about that.

also: I, personally, was a step above this as a child author. I managed to rip off several other stories with everything I wrote. Which is strange, because I had a hell of overactive imagination (if imagination can be overactive at that age... NOT). The worst thing is, I remember turning in the assignment and being so proud of how clever and original it was.
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Social pressures exist
And if you think about them all of the time
You're gonna find that your head's been kicked in
You're gonna do it all for the grind

Doc

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Re: "okay," said the police chief. (9-14-06)
« Reply #25 on: September 14, 2006, 10:46:28 pm »

I really think Q needs to get back, or withdrawal is turning into something... unpleasant.
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Inev: 'A lot of things are ridiculous if you think about them long enough, you know?'

theinevitable

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Re: "okay," said the police chief. (9-14-06)
« Reply #26 on: September 14, 2006, 10:49:45 pm »

I think he's reading it, and just not posting.

so, we should all talk about him as much as possible.
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Social pressures exist
And if you think about them all of the time
You're gonna find that your head's been kicked in
You're gonna do it all for the grind

pmcd9

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Re: "okay," said the police chief. (9-14-06)
« Reply #27 on: September 14, 2006, 11:55:50 pm »

He should be back in just a couple of hours.  He stated quite plainly when he reached 2000 post that he was taking a hiatus until the time of his one year anniversary, which is tomorrow.  He's been reading the entire time he was gone.  I say we tidy up the place, break out a bottle or two of the good stuff and give him a welcome back party.

~Paul
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jough

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Re: "okay," said the police chief. (9-14-06)
« Reply #28 on: September 14, 2006, 11:56:44 pm »

Yeah, he's totally reading this, just slowly jerking off, not coming, and then crying himself to sleep in his hotel room, where he dreams of factory work.

HI Q

AugustWest

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Re: "okay," said the police chief. (9-14-06)
« Reply #29 on: September 15, 2006, 01:24:53 am »

I say we hide behind the door, grab him when him comes in, tie him up with extension cords, pummel him with a sock full of quarters, dunk his head in molasses, roll him in cornmeal and dangle his trussed up carcass from the motel balcony whilst we blast the Bay City Rollers at him.
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