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Author Topic: October 9, 2006 - The worst conversations being had in the English Language  (Read 3616 times)

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Boring K

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http://achewood.com/index.php?date=10092006

If there's no further payoff for this storyline than this strip, I will be happy.
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CortJstr

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The apparently self-aware door was really neat. I like how it reacted to being yelled at. I'd also really like to hear the Todd theme music. I'm guessing it will have stuttering.
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theinevitable

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man, onstad is getting awful weird with the timing.

the worst conversation actually taking place in the english language was me trying to explain why I slept on this girl's floor, without telling the part where she got all Dr Suess. (the reason was that my roommate was "entertaining" and I thought I'd be a nice guy this one time.) That wasn't the height of my English usage.

(it sounds like I'm just finding an excuse to tell that story, but it really was like something in a bad comedy. Judy would have been curled up in a ball and pounding the floor with both fists at the level of Awkwardness.)
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Social pressures exist
And if you think about them all of the time
You're gonna find that your head's been kicked in
You're gonna do it all for the grind

littlefallsmets

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A beer bottle... all ToddSwim with sarcastic plain-text bumps and painfully-hip techno music and plugs for overrated ironic white-boy indie hip-hop acts and double-reverse-psychology ads for expensive cars with good gas mileage.

[toddswim]... all kids outta the pool.
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Bobby Isosceles

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Some of these worst conversations will be culled, verbatim, from TOUAMB.

People will hem and haw and threaten to sue, but won't because they are fat Internet people and thus the smallest modicum of fame flatters and placates them.

"Giraffe Placenta" will be the number one fan candidate, but Onstad will pick something more obscure and palatable for the book to be sold in print format to people with children and jobs that discourage stains on their shirts.

No one here will understand. Jough will talk about how Onstad has lost his edge and make a few simple jumps of logic from his refusal of the masses' love of giraffe placenta, to Onstad being a serial rapist.

The next storyline will begin with Lyle finding a way to ferment vomit into an alcoholic beverage, thus making a perpetual drunken machine.
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littlefallsmets

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As an aside, I like the "Free Mumia" reference, Bob.

Running in left-wing circles as I do but... having a gallow's-humour about the dark state of the world... I like to go up to people wearing "free mumia" shirts and claim that I love mumia, I'd love some free mumia and I love it so much that I'd be happy to pay for it, anyway.

I try to keep looking honestly confused and not crack my facade as... I explain that I believe mumia to be a kind of candy made from sesame seeds that my grandmother brought me back from a trip to Morocco and now, whenever I see a store with an extensive ethnic section, I pick up all the mumia I can and freeze it and... how could anyone give it away for free? It's so good.

And then, you know, I rely on being 6'6 320 to not get the crap beaten out of me.

A lot of my stories end like that. But still.
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linnea

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As an aside, I like the "Free Mumia" reference, Bob.
Running in left-wing circles as I do but... having a gallow's-humour about the dark state of the world... I like to go up to people wearing "free mumia" shirts and claim that I love mumia, I'd love some free mumia and I love it so much that I'd be happy to pay for it, anyway.

Heh, that's just wrong. I had Mr. Abu-Jamal's plight explained to me when I was in high school by a dear friend who is a staunch activist for prisoner's rights, and has been since he was a wee laddie. In high school he heard about Mumia and Leonard Peltier and started doing things like collecting books for prison libraries.

EDIT: it's nice to see that we now have an idea of where all the perceived-products that are Hecho en Mexico come from.
« Last Edit: October 09, 2006, 01:18:44 am by linnea »
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V-Adore

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blah blah blah blah I have problems with Jough blah blah cheap jokes about fat nerds

Incidentally, Bobby, I think the concept of an avatar that is just a box describing a hideous image, as opposed to the actual hideous image, is kind of Magical Realism in and of itself. Or at least cheap postmodernism.
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mrchee

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SYCOPHANTIC DRIVEL
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If no one else can help, and if you can find them, maybe you can hire... The A-Team

jough

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Wow, this strip sure sucked!

mtarquin

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It would have been more amusing if the bottle showed the conversation between the out-of-focus man and Ray.

Or would that be too decadent?
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littlefallsmets

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Or would that be too decadent?

Is going for the cheap meta-textual reference "decadent" now?

Every time an internet comic avoids self-reference, God lets us not have nuclear holocaust for an extra day.

Ce n'est pas une nuclear holocaust. C'est une painting and such.
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V-Adore

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It would have been more amusing if the bottle showed the conversation between the out-of-focus man and Ray.

Or would that be too decadent?

It would be too inaccurate, honestly. While the conversation between Out-of-Focus Man and Ray is not profound, it's also never going to be as bad as any given conversation with Todd, ever. Really, I think that beer bottle's gonna be like 24/7 Todd-o-Vision, maybe with a sideline of Lyle and Lie Bot talking about gonzo porn.
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theinevitable

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so, the next product is going to be "this is my new rollerskate product. Try it on, Ray! I will allow you to guess what action it performs."
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Social pressures exist
And if you think about them all of the time
You're gonna find that your head's been kicked in
You're gonna do it all for the grind

CortJstr

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It would be too inaccurate, honestly. While the conversation between Out-of-Focus Man and Ray is not profound, it's also never going to be as bad as any given conversation with Todd, ever. Really, I think that beer bottle's gonna be like 24/7 Todd-o-Vision, maybe with a sideline of Lyle and Lie Bot talking about gonzo porn.

Or somebody attempting to read Little Nephew's blog. Not to mention a couple of my coworkers.
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