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TOUAMB: Wandering off topic since the early 21st Century

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Author Topic: One! (1 December '06)  (Read 5555 times)

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jaydub

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Re: One! (1 December '06)
« Reply #15 on: December 01, 2006, 09:59:01 pm »
Quote from: Turbo Ninja on December 01, 2006, 06:19:20 pm
I thought Lyle was using the towel to block out non-porn visuals in his peripheral vision because the hand-blinders he tried in panel 8 were ineffective.

That was my take, too.

Quote from: Turbo Ninja on December 01, 2006, 06:19:20 pm
Also, "hand-blinder" sounds like a veiled euphemism for you-know-what.

You mean,
Battling the purple-headed yogurt slinger
Clearing the snorkel
Dating Somebody nice Palm and her five sisters
Fastening the chin strap on the helmet of love
Fiddling the flesh flute
Flogging the log
Liquidating the inventory
Packing your palm
Playing a little five-on-one
Priming the pump
Pumping the python
Running off a batch by hand
Scour the tower of power
Smiting the bishop
Tenderizing the tube steak
Waxing the dolphin
or Wrestling the bald man?
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Re: One! (1 December '06)
« Reply #16 on: December 01, 2006, 10:30:59 pm »
I prefer the phrase 'Shaking hands with the unemployed'
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oball

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Re: One! (1 December '06)
« Reply #17 on: December 02, 2006, 12:50:19 pm »
"Hand-to-gland combat".
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Drygioni

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Re: One! (1 December '06)
« Reply #18 on: December 02, 2006, 05:18:46 pm »
My favourite euphemism has to be "Playing the Pink Floyd guitar solo"
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littlefallsmets

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Re: One! (1 December '06)
« Reply #19 on: December 02, 2006, 09:59:53 pm »
"the ol' high school cry-and-fall-asleep"
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Choop

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Re: One! (1 December '06)
« Reply #20 on: December 03, 2006, 04:28:27 am »
Rattle the saber
Awaken the dragon
Smite untold thousands
Support local industry
Flummox the Quizmaster
Bejewel the scepter
Reboot the matrix
Fry a sausage
Spread my mat and meditate on England
Rub one out
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foolio

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« Reply #21 on: December 03, 2006, 07:37:14 am »
He's NOT jerking off, he's got both hands on the blanket. That raises the question, what IS he doing?
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KeithHernandez

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Re: One! (1 December '06)
« Reply #22 on: December 03, 2006, 07:45:56 am »
Looking at pornography?  That is what he loves to do.
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littlefallsmets

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Re: One! (1 December '06)
« Reply #23 on: December 03, 2006, 08:03:30 am »
The truest appreciator of pornography does not masturbate to pornography at all.

He or (less likely?) she simply drinks in the debasement and smiles upon it knowingly.

The true pornographist sees not cheap titilation and release, rather sees the human race as an elaborate joke and sexhibitionism as the final and greatest joke.

Us, we're amateurs getting turned on by things.

The Lyles of the world are numb to everything but the schadenfreude that is revulsion.

This is my younger cousin Ryan's point-of-view, anyway, and I am ashamed to admit that I not even making this up. This is his real theory, he's laid it out for me. He says that the thrill he gets from strip clubs is not the thrill of seeing people naked and dancing around but in seeing someone give up the last sacred things about themselves for, like, a rumpled-up fiver.

His myspace tagline is "I'm into fuck*ng". But without the asterix.

Suffice it to say, Cousin Ryan is from Circumstances.
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KeithHernandez

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Re: One! (1 December '06)
« Reply #24 on: December 03, 2006, 08:24:07 am »
Jesus you are cool.
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Ben-San

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Re: One! (1 December '06)
« Reply #25 on: December 03, 2006, 09:19:08 am »
Alternate theory: Lyle has perfected no-handed masturbation.
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CortJstr

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Re: One! (1 December '06)
« Reply #26 on: December 03, 2006, 03:37:56 pm »
Quote from: Ben-San on December 03, 2006, 09:19:08 am
Alternate theory: Lyle has perfected no-handed masturbation.

Or research for his own triumphant return to the business.
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theinevitable

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Re: One! (1 December '06)
« Reply #27 on: December 04, 2006, 02:42:51 am »
or, he's just getting through his quota for the day.
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dejavroom

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Re: One! (1 December '06)
« Reply #28 on: December 04, 2006, 11:46:56 am »
Quote from: littlefallsmets on December 03, 2006, 08:03:30 am
He says that the thrill he gets from strip clubs is not the thrill of seeing people naked and dancing around but in seeing someone give up the last sacred things about themselves for, like, a rumpled-up fiver.

sweet jesus fuck, that's some rough chuckles for you...

also "shaking hands with the unemployed" is the perfect simile, hand down.
« Last Edit: December 04, 2006, 12:36:14 pm by dejavroom »
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