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[linnea]

You are describing something I wanted to do very much in college.

But I quickly learned that I lacked the one thing that pretty much all the female athletes of Syracuse University were looking for in a lover:

A pu$$y.

"Tall girls, tall girls everywhere and none of them liked dink" to paraphrase.

(frowny emoticon here)

That story confuses me. Why are men attracted to lesbians? Or were you just hitting on attractive women and then finding out that they weren't straight? I ask this as a serious question because lesbians don't go for men. They like women. Why do fellas hold so dearly onto their "convert the lesbian" fantasy? See also "Chasing Amy".

A guy that I knew in college loved to go to parties with the womens' rugby team in hopes of getting some. Was he ever successful? NO. Dude should have been focusing on flirting with women who are straight. He would've had maybe half a chance there.

Maybe it's the grass-is-greener mindset that makes men (and women) want what they can't have?

[littlefallsmets]

I've always tended to be into tomboy-type ladies and, though it would be unfair as an across-the-board stereotype, it is fair to say that tomboy-type ladies are of a higher percentage into ladies and... therefore... my poor collegiate luck.

It had nothing to do with being "into lesbians" or "wanting to turn lesbians" or anything.

Digging on tomboys and tall girls just tends to lend you down that blind alley more than other tastes in women, I think.

Not that I actually ever dated a six-footer, such as would have been awesome, but pretty much all of the girls I've dated have been assertive and artsy and strong and such. My girlfriend Adri tends to do the fixing of stuff around here and I'm the one who does the bookkeeping and the bills and such.

The only thing that is not perfect about her is that she is 5'7 and not 6'1.

[theinevitable]

yeah, I have been quoted as saying "I like girls who kind of look like boys."

of course, only kind of. I have not dated any of these. My current Lady, especially, is very Ladylike.
The "looking like boys" comment is mostly that the girls I go for are typically twiggy and short-haired. I have also noticed that glasses make me automatically think a girl is 10 times cuter, but, that's neither here nor there.

(it's actually kind of strange. it's like I use short hair + glasses as a mental shortcut to judge a girl as pretty. This has led to me pointing out girls as "cute" who were anything but... simply because my primitive male brain only noticed their eyeglasses and coiffure.)

[Choop]

Have to agree with lfm here. It's a tomboy thing, an iconoclast thing, not an unattainable goal thing. But then, half the students at my college were women, and about two-thirds of them were gay (or at least believed they were). Only about 5% of the guys at my school were gay. This leads to a terrible ratio of availability for the straight guys, and an incredibly phenomenal ratio of availability for the straight ladies. Once in a while you're gonna get tired of the games straight chicks play, and you're gonna fall for someone who A) doesn't put up with that kind of shit and B) has tits.

[Ben-San]

That story confuses me. Why are men attracted to lesbians? (...) Maybe it's the grass-is-greener mindset that makes men (and women) want what they can't have?

Sexual fantasies have nothing to do with real-world applicability. Take this from someone who is so deeply embedded in the comics/anime/science-fiction dork giraffebowl that he can't see the edge. Usually when I see the "why is any male attracted to lesbians? They won't go for you!" question it is being posed in the context of, say, the new Batwoman or one of the lesbian characters from Sailor Moon, without the viability of figures who are fundamentally nonexistent as sexual fantasy objects being ever questioned. Well, it's like that. Nobody would question the viability of a sexual fantasy involving a favorite actress, or assume that its existence meant that the person with the fantasy somehow failed to grasp that Hollywood actresses are not generally attracted to the kinds of dudes who post on Internet message boards about cartoon cats. It's a fantasy.

Trying to actually apply the fantasy in real life is something that does indicate a lack of grasp, but as others have said in this case it was probably more an "I like tomboys" thing. Which is pretty normal, all told; a significant percentage of heterosexual men in experiments preferred female faces that had been slightly composited with the features of an attractive man, and a significant percentage of heterosexual women preferred male faces that had been slightly composited with the features of an attractive woman.

[Choop]

Lezzy porn, now, that's a completely different bag of weasels. Let Daddy try to explain.

To the straight man, the woman is innately beautiful, her preferences disregarded. The beautiful woman clothed is enough to dream of. The beautiful woman nude is the dearest dream.

At this point comes the veering apart of male and female fantasy. Women have characteristically throughout history desired the emotional and compounding love of a mate for life; men have tended to be children of the libido, chasing any beauty who happens to pass through the field of vision. Some blame it on instinct, those claims having no foundation; others point to Mr. Heaven and his directive to procreate (the fertility of men much higher than that of women), the need for which has been long overshadowed; still others point to psychology and claim Nurture as the victor, demonstrating that more and more fathers stray and subscribe to dirty magazines then destined for discovery by teenaged boys. The explanation may well remain hidden for generations. Science and faith have been working fruitlessly to explain it. Perhaps there is none? Echos of the fact are seen in homosexual relationships: lesbians tend stay together monogamously for years; gay men tend to stray periodically even during long-term commitments.

As stated: the woman is beautiful. The male continuation is: the more beautiful women there are around, the better a day it is. This holds true in any situation except family gatherings (and even then in some states). It is a happy man who works in an office full of beautiful women. Ask any Italian. The clothed/nude corollary also stated previously continues to hold: A fantasy of a beautiful woman naked can be sublime. The passive act of seeing beautiful women, clothed, make a man smile if only to himself. The product of the fantasy of many beautiful women, naked, is at this point simple math -- and fantasies continue down each individual's specific avenues of desire.

All this (somewhat strained, I admit) logic yields not a fact, but a trend: Straight men trend to dig the thought of two hotties doing the dirty. If the internet is any indicator, it might be true.


Two cans to anyone who can point out my logical fallacies

[littlefallsmets]

See, I'll explain the lesbian porn angle even quicker.

Lesbian porn is the Miller Lite of pornography: less c*ck, tastes great.

There is no lingering revulsion to seeing another man's c*ck/lingering fear that part of what's turning you on is another man's c*ck. It is all naked girls doing stuff, no assault to your male heterosexuality on any level...

Except, of course, for the extent to which the man watching the film is both fetishing the women AND identifying (on some level) with whichever woman is the more active part in the gettin' down and ultimately leaving you open to...

Coming off like a dude who actually wants to be lady. (Full circle!)

Mostly, though, no floppy balls, no strange distended c*ckes, no accidental views of manbutt.

All. Naked. Ladies.

[Choop]

+1 can to lfm for simplifying my theory. Boiling it down to Miller Lite? So great.

[robot_god]

That story confuses me. Why are men attracted to lesbians?

Well for me it's because the dykes are the only ones into jazz and weed.

But it simplifies down to the fact that lesbians tend to have more in common with men than straight women.

[littlefallsmets]

it's because the dykes are the only ones into jazz and weed.

Aw, man, ain't it the truth. Not so much jazz but...

Somehow, there's something very very attractive about a female stoner, if she otherwise has her head together.

Not, like, a headcase who follows Phish around and doesn't wash and frequents screwed-up hippie orgies and such... but a girl you can blow a joint with and listen to AJA, maybe get out of your goards and start writing Conan O'Brien scripts in crayon and then...

The rest of the time is pretty much a normal person?

Bliss.

[AugustWest]

Somehow, there's something very very attractive about a female stoner, if she otherwise has her head together.

Not, like, a headcase who follows Phish around and doesn't wash and frequents screwed-up hippie orgies and such... but a girl you can blow a joint with and listen to AJA, maybe get out of your goards and start writing Conan O'Brien scripts in crayon and then...

The rest of the time is pretty much a normal person?

Bliss.

Yep.  Been married to one for 18 years now.  I highly recommend it.

P.S. -- It's still good even though we both quit smoking almost ten years ago.

[jaydub]

A can to Choop for that sublime prose.  I smile a lot at work, if only to myself.

[Drygioni]

In a lovely denouement to the thread:

World's tallest man finds love

(Yes, this is a big story)

[slink]

(Yes, this is a big story)

Well,  his wife's quite a small story. I could seriosuly never date anyone two feet shorter than me... That would just be weird!

[theinevitable]

I am hell of digging on some shorter ladies lately. However, 2 feet shorter than me would be... an extreme.