I'm sure I've mentioned repeatedly that I toured highschools with a Planned Parenthood show I co-wrote about sexual health, right? I was all "Hey kids! If you're sexually active get tested for STI's regularly!" and then I'd do the running man dance for 5 minutes while someone else beat boxed for me. Then I changed costume to play one of the Choice Triplets (a la Tweedle Dee and
Tweedle Dumb for the Alice in Contraceptive Land skit) I can't remember anymore if I was Abortion, Adoption or Parenthood in that skit...
Anyway, I got way off track. What I was going to say is that even if you have just a faint inkling that you might have an STI, there's no shame in getting tested. I always think that now, especially since the relationshop between genital warts (which I think is still the most common STI?) and cervical cancer has been directly linked, that it's really important to get tested and treated. A few warts don't seem like a big deal, but no one wants to dance around singing the "I Gave a Girl Cancer From my c*ck" song afterall. How does that song go again?
I gave a girl cervical cancer from my c*ck,
And only for a short, short trip to Venus!
I gave a girl cervical cancer from my c*ck,
And now the doctor's hackin' out her uterus!
Oh, my c*ck was so lumpy
That I called it "friendly toad!"
And then I stuck it into Gina's
Wide and broad abode!
(enter barber shop quartet)
Now I gave a girl cervical cancer from my c*ck (peeee-nis!)
Cause I didn't take one silly test (a silly test!)
I gave her cervical cancer from my c*ck,
And in a coffin she must now invest (must now invest!)
(Oh she must now in. She must now in. She must now inveeeeest!)