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Author Topic: 15th of December, 2006 - Dear lord spare me from that awful group sex.  (Read 11209 times)

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jaydub

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Re: 15th of December, 2006 - Dear lord spare me from that awful group sex.
« Reply #30 on: December 18, 2006, 05:55:09 pm »

there's always that one person, the he-slut or she-slut that makes you think, "Wow, so that's how diseases get spread!"

There was a girl in my dorm who went through 3 guys before Thanksgiving break during her Freshman year.  I was dragging my bag down the hallway as she and stud-of-the-moment engaged in a long, tonsil knocking goodbye.  As I was tossing luggage into my roommate's car, she came trotting down the stairs to a waiting car, and spent a minute or so enthusiastically frenching with her boyfriend-from-back-home who was picking her up.  As they drove off my roommate commented, "Damn, you can hear that AIDS chain clanking all the way to San Diego."
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Ben-San

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Re: 15th of December, 2006 - Dear lord spare me from that awful group sex.
« Reply #31 on: December 18, 2006, 06:28:55 pm »

Where's Ben-San?  If he made a claim like this, he'd provide the picture.

Sadly, all the Wonder Woman issues I've got on hand right now are from the 1980s relaunch, so you'll have to content yourself with a panel from All-Star Comics #13 (1942).

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theinevitable

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Re: 15th of December, 2006 - Dear lord spare me from that awful group sex.
« Reply #32 on: December 18, 2006, 09:00:41 pm »

I wish people wouldn't bring up the VD-chain stories.

MAYBE I MIGHT BE A LINK IN ONE, OK? ONE THAT INVOLVES BOTH LADIES AND FELLOWS!

*sobs softly*

(actually, I'm 99% sure I do not have any VD. If we had a poll on the board of who is most likely to have VD... I would be way at the fuck*ng bottom. But there was this one girl, and I am pretty sure she either had, has, or will have VD in her life. sadly.)
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Choop

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Re: 15th of December, 2006 - Dear lord spare me from that awful group sex.
« Reply #33 on: December 18, 2006, 09:13:34 pm »

High five!

Get tested regularly. There are places that will test you for free and aren't vans parked in alleys.
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smick

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Re: 15th of December, 2006 - Dear lord spare me from that awful group sex.
« Reply #34 on: December 19, 2006, 04:12:23 am »

I wish people wouldn't bring up the VD-chain stories.

MAYBE I MIGHT BE A LINK IN ONE, OK? ONE THAT INVOLVES BOTH LADIES AND FELLOWS!

*sobs softly*


Damn! That answer needs work!
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side_show

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Re: 15th of December, 2006 - Dear lord spare me from that awful group sex.
« Reply #35 on: December 19, 2006, 02:29:18 pm »

I'm sure I've mentioned repeatedly that I toured highschools with a Planned Parenthood show I co-wrote about sexual health, right?  I was all "Hey kids!  If you're sexually active get tested for STI's regularly!"  and then I'd do the running man dance for 5 minutes while someone else beat boxed for me.  Then I changed costume to play one of the Choice Triplets (a la Tweedle Dee and
Tweedle Dumb for the Alice in Contraceptive Land skit) I can't remember anymore if I was Abortion, Adoption or Parenthood in that skit... 

Anyway, I got way off track.  What I was going to say is that even if you have just a faint inkling that you might have an STI, there's no shame in getting tested.  I always think that now, especially since the relationshop between genital warts (which I think is still the most common STI?) and cervical cancer has been directly linked, that it's really important to get tested and treated.  A few warts don't seem like a big deal, but no one wants to dance around singing the "I Gave a Girl Cancer From my c*ck" song afterall.  How does that song go again?

I gave a girl cervical cancer from my c*ck,
And only for a short, short trip to Venus!
I gave a girl cervical cancer from my c*ck,
And now the doctor's hackin' out her uterus!

Oh, my c*ck was so lumpy
That I called it "friendly toad!"
And then I stuck it into Gina's
Wide and broad abode!

(enter barber shop quartet)

Now I gave a girl cervical cancer from my c*ck (peeee-nis!)
Cause I didn't take one silly test (a silly test!)
I gave her cervical cancer from my c*ck,
And in a coffin she must now invest (must now invest!)

(Oh she must now in.  She must now in.  She must now inveeeeest!)


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AugustWest

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Re: 15th of December, 2006 - Dear lord spare me from that awful group sex.
« Reply #36 on: December 19, 2006, 05:54:01 pm »

Gilbert and Sullivan would be proud.
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theinevitable

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Re: 15th of December, 2006 - Dear lord spare me from that awful group sex.
« Reply #37 on: December 19, 2006, 09:10:26 pm »

good lord, that was moving. Believe you me, any fears I have are of the "what if she had a magical STI which could penetrate condoms!? Do they have those?" variety.
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linnea

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Re: 15th of December, 2006 - Dear lord spare me from that awful group sex.
« Reply #38 on: December 20, 2006, 04:08:02 am »

Oh man... smells' story reminds me that I'll never forget an acquaintance of mine who was dating the biggest trainwreck of a girl EVER. She was an evangelical christian who decided that she wanted to be a "Messianic Jew". Isn't that a little...redundant? "Jews For Jesus" are CHRISTIANS, not Jewish. Come on. She had a few more character flaws that were tragic, but I won't get into them here.

She apparently went to the doctor one day and was told that she had cervical cancer. This was before the HPV vaccine. She immediately milked it for all it was worth as the "I've Got Cancer" ploy. Well it was true, but she had cervical cancer from all the whoring she'd done.  Brought on by what, you might ask? Let's just say that she had a similar reputation to Lyle's girlfriend.

YUCK. Nobody feels sympathy for that. Don't tell people you've got cervical cancer, unless you didn't get it from the human papilloma virus.
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AugustWest

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Re: 15th of December, 2006 - Dear lord spare me from that awful group sex.
« Reply #39 on: December 20, 2006, 04:44:28 am »

What, sluts deserve cancer? 

Dude, we all have our weaknesses.  Just because yours isn't teh coq doesn't give you the right to judge others!
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theinevitable

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Re: 15th of December, 2006 - Dear lord spare me from that awful group sex.
« Reply #40 on: December 20, 2006, 04:47:42 am »

man, she must just hate on some AIDS-having people.
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V-Adore

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Re: 15th of December, 2006 - Dear lord spare me from that awful group sex.
« Reply #41 on: December 20, 2006, 05:55:56 am »

Ah, it's refreshing to be reminded that, even in an age where women's sexual equality seems tantalizingly close, it's still acceptable to imply that women who have an "inappropriate" level of sexual activity deserve to die of cancer, and also that cancer due to a sexually-transmitted virus is incredibly shameful and demands no sympathy.
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Drastic Action

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Re: 15th of December, 2006 - Dear lord spare me from that awful group sex.
« Reply #42 on: December 20, 2006, 06:51:06 am »

I get the impression that her gender had little to do with it.  A dude with such a reputation would receive an equally harsh assessment of his worthiness of cancer (but that is impossible, as this is a gender-specific affliction -- but if there were an equivalent male counterpart, it would stand).  And while I do agree that that may be a bit harsh, I do see her point: developing cancer just from the environment, chance, or whatnot seems a tragedy, but when it's brought on entirely by your own doing (such as a smoker brings on lung cancer), the tragedy is diminished a bit, or at least is easier to overlook.  It's still sad, just not as sad, and sort of lends an extra bit of strength to the argument against being a moist slutcake.
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CortJstr

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Re: 15th of December, 2006 - Dear lord spare me from that awful group sex.
« Reply #43 on: December 20, 2006, 02:07:17 pm »

Mmm. Moist slutcake. </Homer>
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side_show

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Re: 15th of December, 2006 - Dear lord spare me from that awful group sex.
« Reply #44 on: December 20, 2006, 02:29:36 pm »

People, people!  If Greek tragedy has taught us anything, it's that bringing about your own downfall is the most tragic of all.    

But really though, I don't think anyone deserves to die from having too much sex, or too much food, or too much anything.  The whole Divine punishment mentality is way too facile to me.  Afterall, it's pretty hard to find someone who hasn't had a hedonistic period in their life at some point - it's the joy of living to go a little overboard.  We're all guilty in the end, we all have that fatal flaw we can trace back to and blame when we end up dead, bloated and floating in a vat of cum, gravy or *****ussin.

Who's up for the Christmas dinner gorge?  I know I am.

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