If I haven't already, I would suggest
Pink, by everyone's new favorite Japanese stoner-rock trio BORIS. Here's
a clip of Boris in action to give you some idea of their ass-whompitude.
Out of some dreary sense of obligation, I bought the new SPIN with the Best of 2006 lists, and then used the
Hype Machine to find mp3s from likely contenders. In descending order:
TV on the Radio: I don't get it.
Gnarls Barkley: the band name was so stupid I dreaded downloading "Crazy." Holy crap, that song just moved right on into my head and re-arranged the furniture. Must investigate further.
Arctic Monkeys: To save time, I Liked It a Lot Better When It Was Called will be shortened to ILIALBWIWC. ILIALBWIWC the Buzzcocks. Though I'll keep that "dancefloor" song on my iPod anyway.
Queer Eye For Sgt. Pepper My Chemical Romance: For about a minute, this band sounded like Queen, and I was hopeful that somebody had the balls to fuse
A Night at the Opera and Operation Ivy. Then it turned into cookie-cutter pop punk. Sigh.
Joanna Newsom: No. Just no.
Cat Power: "The Greatest" was nice. Might investigate further.
My Morning Jacket: I liked. Must investigate further.
Clipse: Wow. Find a beat, add a harp sample and someone going "Ugh!" once in a while, write lyrics about selling cocaine for a living, and every critic in America will line up to suck your dick. Crap.
Beck: it's just another Beck album.
The Decemberists: meh.
Hot Chip: weird but enjoyable. I've already forgotten what they sound like.
The Raconteurs: Better than the White Stripes, which is like saying it's better than genital torture.
Sonic Youth: everything I've heard off
Rather Ripped makes me want to buy it.
Pernice Brothers: "Somerville" is a beautiful song, and I want to hear more.
The Roots: "Here I Come" is second only to "Crazy" for Earworm of the Year, but the other songs I listened to have failed to take, um, root after several months.
Tapes 'N Tapes: you can miss me with this shit.
The Fags: I thought I'd love these guys based on the description ( "mixes Paul Westerberg's down-in-the-basement alienation with Def Leppard's multiharmony ebullience" ), until I listened to them and remembered how much I hate Def Leppard.
Sparklehoss: pretty song, but I already have a Sparklehoss album I never listen to.
Wolfmother: ILIALBWIWC every other band from the last thirty years that put the riff "Dimension" is based on to better use.
Mastodon: as with almost every heavy metal band of the past decade, love the music, hate the vocals.
The Killers: isn't it funny how when a band decides they need some cred and rip off
Born To Run, they always choose the wrong things to rip off? This is like Duran Duran on steroids, with glockenspiels and fake strings...and a lovelorn Jello Biafra on vocals. The only thing more embarassing to me about the ghastly tastelessness of "When You Were Young" is how much I love it, how completely this song has made me it's bitch and how I'm afraid to hear the rest of the album because then I'll have to admit to people that I like the Killers.
So, to conclude: Sonic Youth, Gnarls Barkley, My Morning Jacket, Pernice Brothers might wind up getting some of my money.
Yes, I realize that I have become Pat. Whatever. I couldn't cash a check for a shit and two peanuts with what I think of you.