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[linnea]

Now I have to find a breakup perfume, since he bought me Chergui and Ambre Sultan by Serge Lutens, which have been my favorites until now. I don't want to associate shittiness with them, because they're amazing.  I got a beautiful sample of L'Eau de L'Hiver by Editions de Parfums Frédéric Malle, and it's unlike anything else I wear. I think that it will be my breakup fragrance.

I'm hell of temped to post his email addy, but that would be hitting below the belt. I sent him a brief and polite email asking him to return my books.

Moral of this story: Kids, do not lend your Achewood anything to other people, unless you ain't mind the fuckers keeping it and not giving it back. Jesus.

And yes, the non-crap dudes are imaginary people on the intarwub. Real people just can't compete with that, you know?

[side_show]

Okay, but if he doesn't give your books back within a week, you will post his email address, right?  Riiiight?  Because I am seriously the queen of the well-worded email.  I once responded to a complaint email at my work in such a way as to have the person who sent the complaint send me five apology emails spaced out over less than 12 hours.

[theinevitable]

man. Do we know for sure that this is some kind of twisted achewood-stealing plot, and not "oh dang, I do have her achewood books! Gee whillikers, oops!"

If it is the first, though, we shall sign him up for so much spam.

[littlefallsmets]

Crap dudes is redundant. As a dude, I can definitely tell you... all dudes are crap dudes.

The key is, if you are a lady or a dude who likes dudes, is to find a dude who is crap in a way that is tolerable or outweighed by other traits.

I, for example, am a total crap dude in terms of self-esteem problems and procrastination... but my girlfriend had dated enough guys who were crap dudes in terms of being unfaithful or in terms of being social climbers or in terms of wanting to run her life to the point at which...

Since I am loyal and care for her for who she is without wanting to change her, the specific ways in which I am crap are mostly acceptable.

All men are crap in some way or another, all women are crazy in some way or another.

Lasting love springs when a dude and a lady meet who can deal with the ways that the other are crap or crazy and... y'know... they both understand and appreciate the ways they have been forgiven their being a jerk or being mad.

At least that's my understanding.

[theinevitable]

I think we can simplify this into "no one is perfect." The trick is to find someone who is imperfect in a way you can deal with.

[linnea]

Okay, but if he doesn't give your books back within a week, you will post his email address, right?  Riiiight?  Because I am seriously the queen of the well-worded email.  I once responded to a complaint email at my work in such a way as to have the person who sent the complaint send me five apology emails spaced out over less than 12 hours.

mel, jough, the inev, lfm, CJ, omba, choop, AW, and V-Adore...I love you guys so goddamned much.  That sounds...delicious.

I seriously doubt he's trying to steal them, but for him to neglect to return them would be highly inappropriate. I wish I had gotten them back from him earlier.

sorry for hijacking this thread into my second "lame ass breakup story" within 2 years (the last one was in June 2004 with my crap ex fiance). Ain't there some kind of statue of limitations on this? Some kind of rule against posting a betrayal story more often than once every five years?  Man, I hate this bullshit.

[littlefallsmets]

Do you and the ex have... a mutual friend to pass these items through? I've observed that's the way to do it without opening up old wounds and/or tempting people back into bad bad bad situations. Of course, it is detail-dependent.

Do you have stuff of his to make it a semi-even trade? I find that if it's a situation of a hostage exchange and there's a third-party to do it, all you have to do is buy that third-party a nice bunch of beer and it generally works.

[theinevitable]

it is OK Linnea. I have done this about bullshit things multiple times. Let's be honest-- you're much more lovable than I am. And you actually have a thing to talk about, instead of being like "oh man, yeah, Achewood, but this reminds me of this one joke my girlfriend made..."

[wombat]

Do you and the ex have... a mutual friend to pass these items through? I've observed that's the way to do it without opening up old wounds and/or tempting people back into bad bad bad situations. Of course, it is detail-dependent.

Do you have stuff of his to make it a semi-even trade? I find that if it's a situation of a hostage exchange and there's a third-party to do it, all you have to do is buy that third-party a nice bunch of beer and it generally works.

This is the saddest thing. Especially how LFM is so careful to lead us to believe that he only knows this because it happened to a friend of his.

[Drastic Action]

In past breakups, I seem to require almost nagging the ex to get her stuff back.  I am all, "It is all in a box, and it is right here by the door, you just have to come by some time and it is ALL YOURS".  But it took all the way until I had to make it, "It is on THE PORCH come by WHENEVER AND JUST GET IT PLEASE, before bad weather hits".  Maybe things work differently in alaska?  I've always wanted to go there (random side note).

[littlefallsmets]

This is the saddest thing. Especially how LFM is so careful to lead us to believe that he only knows this because it happened to a friend of his.

Well... it has happened to me but never on a huge scale.

Two dear friends of mine broke up and the difficulty was that... he was holding for her an AMAZINGLY HUGE wide-screen teevee that she couldn't fit in her apartment at the time... for months and months, for the majority of their relationship... and HIS roommates fell in love with the ability to watch it in the interim.

That was a weird one. Because it was his roommates' communal sports-watching device which they loved... more than their OWN girlfriends. Compli-diddly-cated.

[linnea]

I do not have anything of his, so there will be no negotiating.

I emailed him to ask for my stuff back with my mailing address. He emailed me back to say that this is all his fault, he feels terrible (yeah right) and that he'll mail them back ASAP.

It sucks that he would rather mail them back rather than just fuck*ng man up and bring them over, or at least leave them in my truck.  However, the cold and impersonal USPS mail system is better than seeing him. God only knows what would happen if I had to see him this soon...but as lfm said, nothing good could possibly come out of that. 

[KeithHernandez]

I emailed him to ask for my stuff back with my mailing address. He emailed me back to say that this is all his fault, he feels terrible (yeah right) and that he'll mail them back ASAP.

It sucks that he would rather mail them back rather than just fuck*ng man up and bring them over, or at least leave them in my truck.  However, the cold and impersonal USPS mail system is better than seeing him. God only knows what would happen if I had to see him this soon...but as lfm said, nothing good could possibly come out of that. 

all women are crazy in some way or another.

You didn't say he had to mail them, but c'mon, there is no way I wouldn't just mail them to you.  Why else would you include your address?

[linnea]

You didn't say he had to mail them, but c'mon, there is no way I wouldn't just mail them to you.  Why else would you include your address?

That's the whole point. I included my mailing address so that he could just mail them and therefore have no lame excuses as to why he didn't get around to returning them. I was bemoaning the fact that our relationship had degenerated to the point where the US Mail System had to step in as an intermediary.

I have been having really weird nightmares for the past couple of nights. It sucks.

[KeithHernandez]

Oh, well, fair enough.

I have just recently started having dreams.  Well, at least dreams that I have some conscious of.  I have never had a nightmare, but for me dreams are scary enough.