Jeeze Cort, I don't know if your locale is anything like my locale since I have no problem getting any spices or herbs I need. I did have to spend a few hours searching out the correct peppers for Mole Poblano since we don't have much of a Mexicano contingent locally, but it was a "joy of the hunt" sort of thing, and I did find them. Then again, I'm the sort of lady who loves the idea of spending a week collecting ingredients for a single meal, then spending a whole Sunday creating it. There's a joy in going from market to market. It's something we, as a society, don't do much anymore, but I just love the adventure. So I spit on the idea of mail order, even though you said you and your lady aren't in to venturing too far outside your own burrow. To me the key is to head for the ethnic ghettos. Identify where the ethnic groups who's spices you are seeking out traditionally gravitates to housing-wise and hit up a bunch of mom and pop places around there.
Also, seriously, don't go to the nice places, go to the places that people who live in the area would walk to out of necessity, and ask the little old guy/lady who probably doesn't speak much English who's sitting behind the counter. If s/he doesn't have what you want s/he will be able to tell you where to find it. It can be time consuming, especially if you're dealing with folks who don't speak your language, but it's also a lot of fun, and once you've done it a few times you'll have a mental inventory of where to go for what for all future occasions. Neatly print out the ingredients you need - I can't tell you how many times a little old person took my list from my hands and either consulted with someone else or lead me down a maze of crowded isles to hand me what I need. I know where to go for good quality Saffron at 50% less than any mainstream grocer (but the same places's meat looks like it would kill you!) and there's this place that sells hair extensions, pomades and wigs - but in the back they have isles ans isles of Indian and Carribean spices! These little gems are what it's all about to me. It's like a treasure hunt fo' real, yo'!
Also, spice grinder? How 'bout a pestle? Every shop in my china town sells 'em for very cheap, and if you get a little marble or stainless steel one it'll last for life and not take up too much space.
Side story: when hunting down chili's negros for the above noted culinary adventure, I hit up an African spice shop. As soon as I stepped in I could see that this place did not have what I needed - the shelves were pretty bare, but I always take at least one turn through a shop before bailing. The guy behind the counter was chatting it up with another guy in the otherwise empty shop, blasting an African language soap opera, and they both paused and checked me out head to toe, with some lingering. Then they exchanged words and the one guy left and suddenly the counter guy really wanted to help me, and he moved in way to close for comfort - a close talker. I was too embarrassed to ask for what I was looking for as he practically chased me around the store, with me backing up down the isles. I couldn't ask an African guy for chili's negro, could I? It just seemed... inappropriate, and clearly this was a place that sold rice and a variety of beans, and that was about it. Finally, as he continued to persist, he just took my list from me, looked it over, and agreed that he didn't have any of the stuff. He seemed embarrassed too, after reading the list. Then he asked me what type of food I was making, since he didn't recognize any of the ingredients. I told him Mexican, he said "are you Mexican!?" with a lot of shock and some disappointment in his voice. I said no and sort of apologize-ed-ly explained I was cooking Mexican food but not Mexican myself. He directed me to another place, but was all about the chatting, trying to convince me to make something else that would require ingredients he sells, as I backed out the door. I could still hear his voice as the door swung shut behind me. It was an incredibly socially awkward moment for me, and I just wanted to get the hell out of there.