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[Carlos del Vaca]

1. A former Secretary of State has thrown spit balls at me.
2. I am a recreational pilot
3. It is not yet 10am and I have looked at the unclothed breasts of over 100 different women for work.

Tough one.  They're all a bit to weird to be made up.  I'm going to say #2 is the lie.

1.  I played CBGB's in NYC.
2.  I was interviewed to be on an MTV Networks show about people with weird and obsessive hobbies, but didn't make the cut because I wasn't weird enough.
3.  I have an entry in the IMDB.

[wombat]

Tough one.  They're all a bit to weird to be made up.  I'm going to say #2 is the lie.

1.  I played CBGB's in NYC.
2.  I was interviewed to be on an MTV Networks show about people with weird and obsessive hobbies, but didn't make the cut because I wasn't weird enough.
3.  I have an entry in the IMDB.

3 is the obvious lie because there's no entry for Carlos DelVaca, but that's too easy so it has to be a trick. I think I will go with #2.

1. I handle poison dart frogs with my bare hands at least twice a week.
2. I turned down a chance to go to graduate school at MIT (although I was definitely weird enough).
3. I once showed an armadillo to Supreme Court Justice Sandra Day O'Connor.

[CortJstr]

Tough one.  They're all a bit to weird to be made up.  I'm going to say #2 is the lie.

Correct. My dad is a recreational pilot.

#1 was Lawrence Eagleburger. I saw him at (and some other people I forget the names of) speak at summer camp between 9th and 10th grades.

[jaydub]

I'm going to say three is a lie.  It's the choice that fits the least with my mental image of you, although you could have carefully selected a truth that seems out of character.  But no, I'd believe that you play flute, but if you'd done so in the Sydney Opera House I think it would have come up earlier.  Unless you broke into the Sydney Opera House to play flute after hours. 

In fact, I have no idea what my IQ is.  I attended K-6 grade in New South Wales and apparently the educational system there doesn't (or didn't) believe in IQ testing.  All my American-educated acquaintances seem to have gone through it at some point - although I've never heard anyone claim less than 120 (possibly those with less inflate the figures). 

I participated in the school orchestra, which numbered about 50.  There were 5 flautists, I was about 4th best.  We had a little concert with parents, friends, school officials and the like (which still numbered enough for the floor and galleries in a smaller hall to be filled).  This was 1978 or so.  I'm continually appalled by how minimalist American primary education seems in comparison.

Three more, in keeping with Muse's outline:
     1) I have a M.S. in Biology
     2) I'm a guardian for a special-needs child
     3) I brew enough beer that I haven't needed to buy a six pack in over 2 years. 

[Carlos del Vaca]

3 is the obvious lie because there's no entry for Carlos DelVaca, but that's too easy so it has to be a trick. I think I will go with #2.

Bzzzt!  Carlos del Vaca is a nom de plume.  There is an entry in IMDB under my real name, but it's not me.

A friend recommended me for the VH1 freak show for the Mascot Photos, but when I talked to the producer guy on the phone, he was like "This is interesting and funny, but you sound pretty normal, and you haven't gone to absurd lengths to get any of these pictures."  I guess to qualify, I should have tracked the San Diego Chicken to his house and camped outside.

I did give permission for those same mascot photos to be used in a forthcoming baseball documentary.  I'm hoping they credit me as "Mascot Guy" or something, and I'll get my IMDB entry that way.

[Alternate]

Alternate: I call bullshit on door number three. Based upon this post, I think you're a dude.

Your link isn't working for me, is this the one you mean?  It's funny, I thought that post would give me away, because it's actually a description of what I was like in high school.  When talking about girls I said things like "the isolation they feel" instead of "the isolation we feel" because I wanted to come off as androgynously as possible, but I felt kind of transparent doing it.  Like, "I have this, uh... friend... who has surreal sets of obscure interests.  And I have- I mean, my friend has hopelessly tangled interior monologues..." 

Yes, from glancing through Alternate's posts, Alternate appears to most likely be a guy... though I suppose the door has been left a crack open for being a lady who is into ladies. Which is fine by me. I've never really figured out what women could be attracted to about a dude.

Oh, I like dudes, too.  It's just that A) the hotness of dudes doesn't come up as often as does the hotness of ladies in either the comic or the forum, and B) I've avoided talking about my ex-boyfriends because I didn't want folks to assume I was a chick.  (Obviously dudes can like dudes, but even the most enlightened people frequently tend to assume others are straight until proven otherwise.)  It's not that I wanted to deceive people, it's just that when I meet people in real life my gender/sex is one of the first things they learn about me.  I sometimes feel like that's a little weird because it's such an inconsequential part of my personality.  I don't have a problem with my gender, but it's kind of like the color of a rental car I had no say in choosing.  It's like if I had a mole on my foot, and for some reason I was required to wear a huge sign saying "I have a mole on my foot," and when people met me they immediately read the sign and sometimes made conclusions based on it.  If this were the case, and if I were going to introduce myself to the internet, I might want to give people a chance to get to know me a little before telling them about the mole. 

But yeah, 1) is a lie, and 3) is the truth.  I've never seen the Gauss-Bonnet Theorem graffitied, and I've certainly never seen it on a broken wall at the beach in san francisco.  Although I think that if this did happen it might be one of the high points of my life. 

[RMJ12345]

3. I once showed an armadillo to Supreme Court Justice Sandra Day O'Connor.

Please tell me this is true. I have a mild obsession with Sandra Day O'Connor - she was my childhood hero and currently occupies prime real estate on my dorm room door.

I'm too new, I think, to posit on which one of those is a lie or to post two truths and a lie myself - I would guess #2 because of the qualifier.

But if that story is true, I had to put in a request that you post it and explain please!

[theinevitable]

coldfrog, you are right! Beer keeps tricking me, though. The first sip is always good. Everything after that is horrible.

Um...
1 I am an Art History major (or rather, I plan to be.)
2 Bonus Follow Up: the girl I mentioned in #1 previously is a girl y'all -thought- was my girlfriend.
3 I never really liked listening to John Coltrane until today.

Jaydub-- I am going to guess that #1 is the lie. Just because the other two seem like strange things to lie about.

[wombat]

Please tell me this is true. I have a mild obsession with Sandra Day O'Connor - she was my childhood hero and currently occupies prime real estate on my dorm room door.

Sorry, this is the lie - I only passed through the room while someone else showed her an armadillo. I did once get to show Robert De Niro a naked mole rat, though.

#2 is true. I could have studied with Steven Pinker, author of bestselling books on the mind and charter member of the Luxiuriant Flowing Hair Club for Scientists. But I chose otherwise.

#1 is of course completely true.  Dart frogs in captivity are not toxic, since their toxins come from their diet in the wild.

[CortJstr]

Sorry, this is the lie - I only passed through the room while someone else showed her an armadillo. I did once get to show Robert De Niro a naked mole rat, though.

#2 is true. I could have studied with Steven Pinker, author of bestselling books on the mind and charter member of the Luxiuriant Flowing Hair Club for Scientists. But I chose otherwise.

#1 is of course completely true.  Dart frogs in captivity are not toxic, since their toxins come from their diet in the wild.

But you have shown an armadillo to JL and me. And we're way cooler than some Supreme Court Justice. I'm not going to pretend to be cooler than DeNiro, though.

[slink]

I'm not going to pretend to be cooler than DeNiro, though.

You have been in fewer bad movies though!

Possibly unfair to DeNiro since he's been in an awful lot of good movies and been incredibly good in them, but he has chosen some real stinkers!

[littlefallsmets]

It's funny, I thought that post would give me away, because it's actually a description of what I was like in high school.

Hm. In retrospect, I would see how you'd think others would think you were "protesting too much" with that phrasing. But... hopefully it bespeaks the community here well that... we never thought to analyze such a statement at anything other than face value.

This doesn't seem to be one of those message board communities where everyone's trying to suss out each other's ages/genders/locations for the purposes of trying to maybe kinda sorta pooooosssssssibly set up a sex hook-up.

And thank Christ for that, y'know? The board I used to post most at for years (decades in internet time) I've sort of pulled away from, specifically because it has devolved into a bunch of people trying to giraffe for romances and dramas and intrigues and so on. And it blows. Blows massive amounts of diseased bison.

Whereas here is, like, genuinely about talking about a really unique comic strip and... by extension... all sorts of neat fucked-up topics that spin out of those discussions.

And because of that... no one thinks to Sherlock what set of parts someone is carrying around in their Dockers unless the subject directly comes up.

Which is one of the many reasons this is an Awesome Place.

[jaydub]

Theinev:  yep, you're right.  Other than sucking at the game I have no defense for why I put those up there.  Process of elimination was pretty simple given what I posted.
My level of formal education is my terrible secret, and (other than the fact that I love my job) is one big reason why I haven't hopped around more companies.

[wombat]

Possibly unfair to DeNiro since he's been in an awful lot of good movies and been incredibly good in them, but he has chosen some real stinkers!

DeNiro actually seemed like a really nice regular person, which was the only reason I let him touch the mole rat, which is actually not allowed.  But I don't know if his taste in people is any better than his taste in scripts - he had this whole entourage of odd family and vacuous stupid movie people in tow. Including the one who was wearing a fur coat, clearly oblivious to the enormous faux pas that this would constitute when asking for special favors from zookeepers.

[linnea]

I'll say #2 because 98 seems low. IIRC you were doing EMT stuff before moving to a place that only has 98 total people.

Correct...although truthfully, I have only performed far fewer sticks than 98...I've only accomplished about 32 IV sticks in my lifetime. I did not do any EMS/Fire until I moved to Alaska. I only got certified to perform IV sticks in November 2006.

Also, I have never been IN a boat fire. We've had two since I've lived here and been certified as a firefighter, but I was not on call either of those nights. I've stayed up on night watch afterwards as security for a boat that was gutted in a fire until the fire marshal could come out and do inspections for arson, but I've never actually been a firefighter in a boat fire.