Oh wow...
The first night of the play went better than I had ever dared to dream.
Seriously, it was awesome.Thank you guys for all the well-wishin'. I seriously think it helped.
When I first got my monologue (My pu$$y Was My Village) it took me 6 weeks of daily readings before I could desensitize myself enough so that I could read it without crying. I have read it twice a week for the past three months for my V-Day group. After six weeks of total awfulness, I learned to be able to compose myself and get through the reading.
One of the women in my group is Russian. She gave me a black lace scarf and suggested that I cover my face during the sad parts of the monologue. Women in Eastern Europe (and other parts of the world) wear black veils when something really bad has happened. Her simple suggestion was immensely powerful. I am SO grateful that she helped me because it's a powerful gesture that really helps convey the message of the monologue.
Tonight when I read it...the emotions were magnified a thousandfold from the regular rehearsal. The entire audience -- women and men -- were sobbing during my monologue. I read it and started crying partway through, but I was able to focus on the words and enunciate loud and clear despite my tears so the entire theater could hear me. It devastated them, and the entire audience (over 100 people in a rural Alaskan village of 4,000) cried along with me.
I didn't know it, but behind me, all my fellow actors were crying. These are women who bravely helped me through the rough spots of reading this monologue and were able to dispassionately give me pointers on the technical aspects of my monologue. Tonight, during the performance, I felt the words like I have never felt them before. I was devastated by the words in the monologue, but I also felt hope that I was giving a voice to millions of women who have never had their stories told.
The same atrocities that women in Bosnia, Kosovo, and Serbia suffered through...well, those atrocities are being perpetrated day after day and are happening now in places like Darfur. The whole point of V-Day is to put a stop to the violence. I felt honored that I was able to do a small part and honor those women.
I'm really glad that tonight went so well. I got the butterflies out and I think that tomorrow night (the second and final night) will be even better.
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Topic: oh crap, oh goodness...SO NERVOUS! (stage debut) (Read 1970 times)