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[Sub_Topical]

Three young 'uns, an early schedule that sets yuou free on the world in the early afternoon and Hawaii.

Shoot, I'd drop us too.

[littlefallsmets]

Also, he has a new baby in the house, no?

This reminds me of my brother's particular way of mocking people whose MINDS ARE COMPLETELY BLOWN by getting to see a friend or relation's new child and claim that everyone needs to visit the new child and so on.

He will sarcastically say "Oooooooh, fresh baby! Everyone, fresh baby! OH MY fuck*ng CHRIST, fresh baby!"

There is nothing he hates more when visiting back home than when he is forced to visit a friend or relation's new child on a perfunctory basis. His is a world of cheap wine, test tubes and dusty seventy-eight RPM records. He is pretty much Crumb except if Crumb was a drug-testing analyst instead of a comic book artist.

[theinevitable]

but...
but...
I love fresh babies!

I learned, not quite 3 hours ago, that there is an evolutionary benefit to becoming a gibbering mess when confronted with a baby.
This is one evolutionary battle which I win, hands down.

[Sub_Topical]

Yeah, if you like 'em it incrementally improves ones chances at practicing making 'em in many cases.

Cort? Your Cue

[littlefallsmets]

I learned, not quite 3 hours ago, that there is an evolutionary benefit to becoming a gibbering mess when confronted with a baby. This is one evolutionary battle which I win, hands down.

What benefit is that? That some ladies dig on a dude who likes babies as it subconsciously keys them to the idea that if you and her made a baby, you'd probably stick around and so forth?

I am not as anti-baby as my brother. Babies are okay but... I don't hold 'em as I am afraid I'll hurt 'em. I'm nervous around small children and smaller animals because I'm a big dude, I'm clumsy and I don't always know my own strength.

(And by that I mean, I am a weakling for my size but my size alone makes me stronger than most people so I forget.)

I'm afraid I'll accidentally harm them.

Also, I ain't talkin' baby to 'em. I'll talk to a child who is non-verbal or barely-verbal but I won't talk to 'em gibberish-style. Same for animals. I talk to animals and babies the same way I would speak to an adult human who does not understand larger words.

I'll bring the verbage down to basics but I don't do the goo-goo ga-ga thing.

I'm the guy who says "So.... bein' a baby, huh? How's that working out for you?" to babies.

[theinevitable]

um, no, it was actually, now that I'm more awake and functioning, in relation to caring for one's own baby. IE our brain gets all warm and fuzzy when we see a baby. And we want to, you know, take care of it. As opposed to swinging it like a bat.

[CortJstr]

Yeah, if you like 'em it incrementally improves ones chances at practicing making 'em in many cases.

Cort? Your Cue

Too obscure for me.

[Sub_Topical]

Also, I ain't talkin' baby to 'em. I'll talk to a child who is non-verbal or barely-verbal but I won't talk to 'em gibberish-style. Same for animals. I talk to animals and babies the same way I would speak to an adult human who does not understand larger words.

I'll bring the verbage down to basics but I don't do the goo-goo ga-ga thing.

I'm the guy who says "So.... bein' a baby, huh? How's that working out for you?" to babies.

Man, you ain't helping your case here 'cause that is basically a good thing. Children spoken to that way develop more rapidly and generally superior verbal skills for their age group.

ALSO: Your pattern is great because the mom's in the grocery store will get a laugh and the hottz as you ask babyling stuff in the store like "So, whatta ya think? 2% this week?"

Other recent grocery store lines:

[baby blows rasperry] I don't like it either bub, but it's on the list
[cart bumps shelf] Hey! Pay attention when your driving!
[baby farts] So, fudged any good huggies lately?
[baby beats on coffee container] Are you gonna work or just bang on the drum all day?

These are my grocery trips.

[AugustWest]

[baby beats on coffee container] Are you gonna work or just bang on the drum all day?

Heh.  Can for a Rundgren ref.

[Muse_Of_Fire]

*shudders*

Babies give me the CREEPS. They're just... small helpless humans. They can't do ANYTHING. They're so... DEPENDENT. It just bugs me. As a kid, I never liked playing dolls with my female friends (unless it was Barbies, because then it was all about the clothes and the pink car and going to parties with Ken and trying to network with the brunette at the sushi bar to get the promotion at the law firm before going to the beach). But playing "babies" with dolls that actually looked like babies? Blech. I'd rather read the dictionary. And I often did that.

For as long as I can remember, when someone would bring their baby around to show off, and *everyone* would be going all stupid about the baby, I never could understand what all the fuss was about. I would always be like, "Meh, cute, I guess," and then want to move on to other more interesting activities like Scrabble or making a perfect Hollandaise. I still don't get what everyone gets all wound up about.

There are three exceptions to this mentality: my nephew and niece and goddaughter. All three were perfect, beautiful, genius babies. But that's it. All other babies bother me. I can be happy for my peers who want to be parents, when I see how happy they are to be raising their kids. I'm cool with that, but it so isn't me. I know what it takes to be a good parent, and if I were to do it, I'd want to do it right, and I already know that the things I want out of life aren't conducive to being a good parent. I wouldn't be there for my kid the way I'd want to be. I love travel and adventure too much. And besides, the whole idea of being pregnant and having some other person split me in half by crawling out of me screaming? No thanks.

My mother in law is not pleased with this line of thinking. I received Folic Acid in my Christmas stocking for about five years before she finally came to terms with the fact that It wasn't going to Happen. It made for some crabby holidays.

The irony is, I LOVE kids. Babies, not so much. Okay, not at all. But once they're about 4 or so, I love them. In fact, I spent my birthday entertaining the contingent of children who'd come out to my birthday dinner with my friends (who are their parents). After dinner, I herded all the kids around, maybe 7 or 8 of them, between ages 3 and 14, and we did all sorts of games and activities. It was a blast. My friends thought I was nuts: Why is she working on her birthday?! But I can't help myself. I see a bunch of kids in a room and immediately I'm drawn to them and wanting to engage them somehow.

I think it's because for my "real person" job, I'm a public school teacher. I also teach at the ballet company school on evenings and weekends. Yeah okay, I'm pretty much teaching all the time. So getting in there with the kids is just an instinct for me and I can't help it.

But babies? Yuck.

[side_show]

I totally agree MOF, I am totally not about the babies.  I was a little worried as every single one of my female friends but for one has had a baby within the bast 15 months, (the other friend is currently trying for baby).  I thought, "uh-oh!  I've never wanted one before, but here comes the big test - it's a cavalcade of babies!"  And like you, I work with kids - I work at a children's theatre.  Today one of the kindermusic toddlers was thrilled to show me that she was "HOLDING A SPOOOON!" cute, but, meh - whatever.  Even with hyper exposure, I've totally failed to catch baby-wantin' fever.  Infact, though I like kids and am pretty damn good with them, all the exposure has fully cemented my total lack of desire to have one.  I've never, ever had a maternal desire.  Not for a second.  Not once.  Last night my SO and I babysat for our friends - it was the first time they were leaving the boy for more than an hour.  He was under 3 months, and a really good little guy.  He was really happy to see me with big grins and nice baby babble, but I was totally only there for my friends.  It was no fun.  It was not something I wanted to do with my time, other than to make my buddies feel safe that their baby wouldn't die if they took a night off. 

I feel a little like an alien since all my pals have become breeders, so it's actually really nice to hear that another woman in the world doesn't go insane when a baby appears.  Everyone asks me all the time, and when I say I've made the choice not to have children, or not to get married, many folk patronize me to the extreme.  I haaate it.  "Oh just wait..."  "Oh, but if it happens..."  I am totally happy for my buddies and their choice to have babies, I do wish they'd be happy for me and my choice to not have babies.  I guess I'll just have to have a happy fulfilled life just to spite them!

[linnea]

I am totally torn between wanting un bebe and being terrified of having one.

Sometimes I'll see a picture of a child (infant, whatever) and I'll just get really sad and think, "My son or daughter would be waaay cuter than that!"

What I really want is for my two sisters and I to have kids around the same time. In 1982 my dad and all his siblings had girl children, and it was kind of cool for all the cousins to grow up together. 

[Muse_Of_Fire]

Amen, side_show.

It actually makes me really angry to be treated like there's something wrong with me, or to be patronized, like "Oh well someday when you've matured you'll join the rest of us and want one." Or maybe I've decided now and that's my decision and I'm happy with it? Some people have gone so far to as to be openly hostile, treating me like I'm broken or something. It makes me soooooo mad!

Part of my rationale, besides not being at all keen on pregnancy or babies, is that there are so many children on earth already who need someone to love them, and why can't I be that person? I try to be that person in my work, and in the community. Why do I need to perpetuate my own DNA to be a good parent? For a lot of my students, I *am* the parent, because for whatever reason their biological parents are unwilling or unable to be good parents. That's very fulfilling to me, to be the positive adult figure in a lot of children's lives. I feel like I get a lot of the benefits of parenting, and few if any of the drawbacks, and that society is benefiting from my choice.

Good to see I'm not the only female out there that has to deal with the less pleasant consequences of that personal choice. *high-fives side_show*

Also, people are missing from the boards.

(I have no idea what I'm talking about but I want to get the thread back on track... I feel bad for contributing to the hijack)

[jaydub]

I've never doubted that I wanted kids (six sounds like a good number, but its looking like I'll make do with one - of my own).  Pretty much every serious relationship I've had involved moments of "what would a kid of ours look like" and "what kind of a mom would she be?".  I even have gone so far as to let a relationship die because I knew the lady, while fun and sexy, wouldn't make the kind of mother I'd want for a kid.  (hubris, I know. Who am I to judge?  Well, a potential father for one.)

[Muse_Of_Fire]

Not to worry, jay_dub. "Kids or no kids" is a dealbreaker. I have known far too many people who are compatible in every way except for agreeing on the kids question, and those who stick together and end up having kids because the partner who wanted them insisted... well it always ends badly. And that's not good for anyone, least of all the poor kid. So I'd say it's a good thing to let that be a contributing factor in your relationship decisions, and a significant one. You're one of the few people who knows exactly how he feels about the subject, and it's good to stand firm on that and find a woman who feels the same.

I'll even go so far as to say that you and the lucky lady will be spectacular parents and raise healthy, happy, successful children as a result.