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[wombat]

I don't have any Mafia contacts, but my grandfather was in the Knights of Columbus. If you need some very old German-American men to show up and start saying Hail Marys and Our Fathers in a very dense rural-Minnesotan accent at some subject of your ire, I can get that for you.

Germans are in the Knights of Columbus? I swear I thought this was an organization for Italian guys. 

[V-Adore]

Germans are in the Knights of Columbus? I swear I thought this was an organization for Italian guys. 

They are in rural Minnesota, at least. I suspect the relative paucity of Italians in rural Minnesota may have something to do with it.

Anyway, when I say "ambush nerds," I mean... basically... that class of nerds who think of "freaking the mundanes" as a worthy sport/leisure activity, those who are not only lifestyle nerds but will freely inflict this lifestyle on others. You know, the ones that all other nerds view with embarrassed ambivalence? Those guys.

[jaydub]

Germans are in the Knights of Columbus? I swear I thought this was an organization for Italian guys. 

It's a Catholic version of the Order of the Most Magnificent Water Buffalo (or whatever the Fez-wearing Shriner types are). Where I live there are a lot of Filipino and Vietnamese guys in the Knights.

V:  I gotcha.  "Freaking the Mundanes" was definitely considered a sport among some of my college friends (SCA and RPG varieties).  I think a lot of nerds build up enormous amounts of rage as young teens, and when they finally realize that their own self-worth is truly not determined by the larger society it bubbles out as a sort of reverse bullying in their early 20's.  It lingers even into their 30's among some of my colleagues who refer to well-coiffed business and Marketing types as "the dark side" and treat them with thinly diguised disdain.  "Marketing" opinions are usually regarded as being the braying of barnyard animals. 

[Nabubrush]

. . . some of my college friends (SCA and RPG varieties). . .

OK, so this is somewhat out in the rough, but I would like to share that in my neighborhood, there is a "Bigfoot"-style truck, with the jacking up and the massive, aggressive tires. Not like weekend-warrior type jacked up. More like $50k-$75k type jacked up. It has a personalized license plate. The plate reads:

"MMORPG"

How's that for busting sterotypes?

[littlefallsmets]

"MMORPG"

How's that for busting sterotypes?

Maybe that's the Monster Truck's name, though.

Massive Machine Of Rolling Power Generation.

[Muse_Of_Fire]

Thanks, everyone. Your comments made me laugh, which I really needed. I barely know you guys but I just sort of needed some relief from an emotional wrecking ball and I appreciate you all taking the time to cheer someone who is essentially a stranger to you.

As to the why, I won't go into huge details unless you ask me to, but yesterday I got some horrible news about my job. For the past three years I have put my heart and soul into this project--almost literally. I worked my butt off, three years of 14-hour days, working over vacations, doing insane amounts of research, schmoozing, wrangling... this project was my "baby" and I was very deeply personally invested in it. I'd managed to obtain approval for it from the board, with a level of approval that was unprecedented (and they even said so). I'd managed to recruit an unprecedented number of people to this project, which surprised my entire organization. I was preparing to start implementation when...

...it got ripped out from under me by one person, and some circumstances beyond pretty much anyone's control. My boss can't even do anything about it.

And not only that, but I found out about it in a horrible way:

Colleague: Sorry about X.

Me: What?

Colleague: Oh man, didn't you meet with Boss?

Me: Um... no. Did it get canceled?

Colleague: (shuffling uncomfortably) erm... yeah... I'm really sorry...

Then we had to start our meeting (on something else) so we couldn't really discuss it. My department head was as surprised as I was and encouraged me to talk to the Boss. So I went to his office, but he had left, and on his door was posted:

"The following projects have been canceled

...

Muse's Project"

I was totally just numb and wrecked lastnight. Honestly I was like Beef not being able to bite through the toast. I was pretty much so hurt and angry and upset and sad that I was barely functional.

Today things are a bit different, but uncertain. I met with my boss and fought hard for the project. He has it conditionally back on, but it's based on a lot of ifs that might not happen. At least then if it gets canceled it will be on my terms and I'll know I gave it my best shot and exhausted all possibilities.

Nothing I can do about the person who threw the wrench into the works, unfortunately... none of my non-Touamb associates have any mob connections either.


*sigh*

Oh, PS: My mom is so cool. I got a voice mail from her today: "Hey MoF, it's mom. I'm just calling to see how you are, because lastnight I had a dream that you were really, really sad, and I'm hoping you're okay."

How awesome is that? She's like psychic!

I tried not to make this too long... sorry.

[theinevitable]

MoF... that's because I Am Your Mother. I've been posting on this board for months in the hopes that you might one day find it. I know many embarassing and personal facts about you, if you want me to prove it.

...

seriously though, MoF you seem wonderful, and I hope things turn out as well as they can for you.

[AugustWest]

You should remember that this is a random occurance.  It is not related to anything you did or caused.  In no way should it affect your sense of self-worth.  You absolutely did not deserve to have your project arbitrarily cancelled.

You..Are..Rad..

[linnea]

I was totally just numb and wrecked lastnight. Honestly I was like Beef not being able to bite through the toast. I was pretty much so hurt and angry and upset and sad that I was barely functional.

Today things are a bit different, but uncertain. I met with my boss and fought hard for the project. He has it conditionally back on, but it's based on a lot of ifs that might not happen. At least then if it gets canceled it will be on my terms and I'll know I gave it my best shot and exhausted all possibilities.

Nothing I can do about the person who threw the wrench into the works, unfortunately... none of my non-Touamb associates have any mob connections either.


*sigh*

Oh, PS: My mom is so cool. I got a voice mail from her today: "Hey MoF, it's mom. I'm just calling to see how you are, because lastnight I had a dream that you were really, really sad, and I'm hoping you're okay."

How awesome is that? She's like psychic!

I tried not to make this too long... sorry.

I think we could arrange an "accident". Having your project ripped away from you sounds soul-crushing. BASTIDS!

Also, that is hella awesome about your moms. I wish my mom had powers like that. Good thing I have the rockingest twin sister ever to keep up our "wombie brain link" (womb-mates cuz we're twins...not related to Wombat of this board).

[jaydub]

One might also think this could have been broken to you somewhat more skillfully.  Still, of such crises is character wrought (or so they say).

[wombat]

Work sucks.And managers are idiots. Don't ask me how I know, it is too complicated to go into, but at this moment I am more sure of this than usual. You are not alone.

I hope if you get your project back, you don't work 14 hour days anymore. I learned at a impressionable age - and then forgot, and had to learn it all over again - that you should be careful about giving too much or becoming too attached to a job. Because no matter how much you love the work you do for it, how much you put into it, the organization you work for won't love you back. It just doesn't work that way. And because their committment doesn't equal yours, they can do this kind of thing at any time no matter how little you deserve it. 

[Sub_Topical]

...you should be careful about giving too much or becoming too attached to a job. Because no matter how much you love the work you do for it, how much you put into it, the organization you work for won't love you back.

This is a great thing to have your eyes open about. Well said, critter wrangler.

MoF, I do symphasize for you. Losing out on something you've broken your hump on is a pisser of the first grade. The way it was done was a bag full of hairy ass.

I don't internet-know you well enough to offer any constructive advice. I am passionate about my work and do a damn fine job of it and I really care about excellence as the standard, not a goal. It's gotten me some recent nice things and rewarded me very well. With all that said, work doesn't get to come home with me. I refuse to sacrifice any of my time with family or friends to an entity that would not even hiccup at my vanishment from earth.

Co-worker: How was vacation? Did you miss us?

Me: Didn't think about this place at all once I drove outta the driveway.

This is a real exchange about a place I like.

I'm hep enough to know that some people function better detached and some firmly attached so you may not be able to or want to do anything about your self investment in your work.

And that's OK too, you be you and remember the cholesterol guys fine words:

You..Are..Rad..

[Muse_Of_Fire]

Wow. You guys are extraordinarily kind people. I really appreciate the thoughtful, supportive comments. And the injections of humor. Means more than you know.

I'm normally pretty good about leaving work at work, not letting it consume me, etc. This is a third career for me, so I've been through a lot of those learning curves. However this particular project meant a lot to me. It's something I've wanted to do for over 10 years and finally had the opportunity to do. In this instance, I decided that the crazy hours and the Pouring of Self into it were worth it. If it had been anything else, I wouldn't have cared so much (and, you're right, as a result, I wouldn't have been so crushed by the setback.)

If you'd care for an update:

I did some research and found out that the possibility of my meeting the conditions my boss set for the continuation of the project are quite possible, and in fact might be pretty easy. The project is now officially on, provided I meet said conditions and the Super Big Cheese approves my boss's recommendation. But I think he will. He was pretty gung ho for my initial proposal and in my meeting with my boss I essentially spelled out for him in no uncertain terms that I am the best-qualified person for this organization and this project, and that they'd be fools to let that go (I figure, the only person I can always guarantee to stand up for me is me, so I might as well).

As things stand now the project should continue through completion of its first phase. After that its continuation depends on much.

The Monkey-Wrench-Thrower will be in the game now, though (she was absent for most if the initial phases), and that affects things substantially. So I'll have to be a bit more assertive and cagey. Or start slipping unwise amounts of Ex-Lax into her coffee. *evil grin* Still, as they say, It's ON.

I got taken by surprise and knocked off my feet, but now all that means is they've awakened the dragon.



Thanks again for being with me through the crappy parts. Cans to all y'all for being such sweethearts.

[littlefallsmets]

Good news is awesome!

As Fievel would say, penisltov!

[iron_felix]

Alas, I have no Mafia connections either.  I have one distant relative who was a member of some fascist organization in the UK, though.  He wound up dying fighting the Italians in World War II, which in addition to the obvious irony is a very un-Mafiaesque kind of thing to do.

I found this post a few days late, but I'd like to offer my support as well.  I'm glad things are starting to look better for you now.