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[Arachno-capitalist]

Or perhaps a non celebrity


GUYS STOP THAT DONT YOU KNOW THERE IS A WAR GOING ON

This image and caption is burned into my retina for at least the next couple hours.

[hammish]

I guess I'm just wondering if it is being... consciously done or if the characters and ideas have gotten to a point where the whole Secret World thing just no longer serves the strip creatively.

Either is fine, I just find the process interesting.

I'm a bit newer to the comic than many on here... but from what I've been able to absorb, the Underground is a formal concept only partly-revealed. As such there's a great degree of plasticity available to Onstad to evolve the idea (or make up new rules, to put it crassly) as the particular arc demands. Maybe some humans are in on the underground -- but they keep real cool about it.

Then again I'm a dewey-eyed fanboy for Achewood and would like nothing better than the stern condemnation of strict constructionist.

[Charles Nelson Mandela]

I'm a bit newer to the comic than many on here... but from what I've been able to absorb, the Underground is a formal concept only partly-revealed. As such there's a great degree of plasticity available to Onstad to evolve the idea (or make up new rules, to put it crassly) as the particular arc demands. Maybe some humans are in on the underground -- but they keep real cool about it.

Although I knew about Achewood almost from the beginning, it was only about six months ago that I really got sucked in and went back and caught myself up from the very beginning. And the Underground was the very last concept that I figured out. Apparently you had to be in on the Sunday-only subscription strips to really grok it. (I keep thinking about subscribing just so I can get one last massive, four-days-on-crystal-meth hit of Achewood - as it's so much fun to read in mega-doses of dozens of strips at a time - but then I never get around to it because I can't wrap my head around the concept of having to subscribe to something that never updates and will charge me in perpetuity anyway unless I cancel it.)

Then again I'm a dewey-eyed fanboy for Achewood and would like nothing better than the stern condemnation of strict constructionist.

You know, I think "The Pleasures of Spanking with Antonin Scalia" could be the ultimate Ray disguised gay porn case. It hides itself while being exactly what you're looking for at the same time.

[robot_god]

It's not every day I coincidentally run into an Ultimate Warrior gif.  Glad today is one of them, although they are not uncommon.

[vivouk]

Or perhaps a non celebrity


GUYS STOP THAT DONT YOU KNOW THERE IS A WAR GOING ON

CHRIST. 

Can'd.

Yours,
Lurking Can Distributor

[CortJstr]

There is only one celebrity worthy of busting through the wall of a gay porno.

That's right, the Ultimate Warrior.

AW HELL YEAH

This is a man who legally changed his name to Warrior Warrior. Seriously. At a speech to a group of college kids he said, "Queering don't make the world go 'round"

The dude is messed up, even compared to other pro-wrestlers.

[Bobby Isosceles]

At a speech to a group of college kids he said, "Queering don't make the world go 'round"

And NOW you understand why he's perfect to break into the wall of a gay porno.

[littlefallsmets]

I guess this is why I would be bad at an Internet Comic Strip...

The theoretical crescendo to this all, the closeted angry man from American Idol actually storming in on a Ray-financed gay cat pornography shoot... possibly involving Lyle... and refering to the soundtrack as a "dismal and pathetic chord sequence"?

This is not as interesting to me as the comedy anti-climax of the closeted angry gay man showing up to do the role and just being freaked out that there is this hidden world, not only of talking cats and alive stuffed animals, but that their parallel culture is advanced enough to have high-budget gay cat pornos in production.

Just throw a wrench into the whole proceeding and have the comedy suddenly come from this... famous successful man who built his life around making fun of people who can still sing better than anyone you or I know... comfortable in his cynicism and resting on the solid gold laurels of his life and then, all the sudden...

Cats can talk, teddy bears are alive and... not even that... they have a hidden world that has been going on for at least centuries, roughly at a pace with the human world.

What do worldwide fame and tens of millions of dollars exactly MEAN if everything you know is wrong?

And then the comedy comes from... you know... how do we manufacture an ending that doesn't completely void the premise, ala Springfield ejecting the real Principal Skinner and then putting a gag order on the town under the threat of torture, except when Skinner tries to call Lisa on the intellectual inhonest of finding a cat identical to Snowball and naming it as such and going on essentially as though the last sequence of events never happened even though, if challenged, they could be said to have?

I am sure that whatever Onstad comes up with will be... funnier than that sort of a scenario but... that is where my mind would go with this premise and... that is why I do not have a successful web comic strip.

That and my inability to draw, my inability to build a website and my difficulty with short-form comedy.

Those four factors are why.

[Bobby Isosceles]

I guess this is why I would be bad at an Internet Comic Strip...

The theoretical crescendo to this all, the closeted angry man from American Idol actually storming in on a Ray-financed gay cat pornography shoot... possibly involving Lyle... and refering to the soundtrack as a "dismal and pathetic chord sequence"?

This is not as interesting to me as the comedy anti-climax of the closeted angry gay man showing up to do the role and just being freaked out that there is this hidden world, not only of talking cats and alive stuffed animals, but that their parallel culture is advanced enough to have high-budget gay cat pornos in production.

Just throw a wrench into the whole proceeding and have the comedy suddenly come from this... famous successful man who built his life around making fun of people who can still sing better than anyone you or I know... comfortable in his cynicism and resting on the solid gold laurels of his life and then, all the sudden...

Cats can talk, teddy bears are alive and... not even that... they have a hidden world that has been going on for at least centuries, roughly at a pace with the human world.

What do worldwide fame and tens of millions of dollars exactly MEAN if everything you know is wrong?

And then the comedy comes from... you know... how do we manufacture an ending that doesn't completely void the premise, ala Springfield ejecting the real Principal Skinner and then putting a gag order on the town under the threat of torture, except when Skinner tries to call Lisa on the intellectual inhonest of finding a cat identical to Snowball and naming it as such and going on essentially as though the last sequence of events never happened even though, if challenged, they could be said to have?

I am sure that whatever Onstad comes up with will be... funnier than that sort of a scenario but... that is where my mind would go with this premise and... that is why I do not have a successful web comic strip.

That and my inability to draw, my inability to build a website and my difficulty with short-form comedy.

Those four factors are why.

Also, Calvin never ages and sometimes his tiger is real and sometimes it's not. JUST LIKE GMr. WonderfulS BALTAR AND NUMBER SIX.

Seriously. More fiber in your diet. Clear that little problem right up.

I recommend McCann's Steel Cut Oats.

[hammish]

Just throw a wrench into the whole proceeding and have the comedy suddenly come from this... famous successful man who built his life around making fun of people who can still sing better than anyone you or I know... comfortable in his cynicism and resting on the solid gold laurels of his life and then, all the sudden...

Cats can talk, teddy bears are alive and... not even that... they have a hidden world that has been going on for at least centuries, roughly at a pace with the human world.

What do worldwide fame and tens of millions of dollars exactly MEAN if everything you know is wrong?

And then the comedy comes from... you know... how do we manufacture an ending that doesn't completely void the premise...

I think it would be a splendid twist. Currently I'm so used to the Underworld paradox just working smoothly... at some point it would be a great deus ex machina for a human to wander into an improbably-complicated achewood arc and, apropos nothing, just bug the fuck out. Brain completely melted from talking cats in thongs to a stuffed bear cradling his bong while the other stuffed bear films a squir -- OH MY GOD WHAT IS THE SQUIRREL DOING???

[Turbo Ninja]

CIRCUS PENIS, y'all.

Caftans, airplanes and giving $7 to an otter!.  Achewood porn stars are anthropomorphic cats and bears!  Teodor was almost in a gay porn!  Lyle probably knows them all by their Christian names!

[littlefallsmets]

But Ninja, clearly they are not talking about Stallone's cat equivalent storming in or Simon's cat equiv storming in.

They are talking about the human people intervening, it seems, even though the pornographic acts would be barb-on-barb.

My Amateur Writer Sense tingles toward that conflict, is all I'm saying.

And... exactly, Ham... your scenario is only heightened by the human in question being a human who is famous for making withering non-chalant comments about fairly bizarre people. But in the face of talking cats fuck*ng, would that wit hold strong?

That is not exactly the same as critiquing a nerdy Asian man for singing poorly on purpose so he can be on television.

A hardened violent criminal wakes up weaponless and nude, restrained and surrounded by aliens and hurtling past Neptune in a spaceship is not going to react the way he would if restrained by, say, two police officers with batons. A dude's reflex is to fight back at two normal dudes in a scenario that he must have at least considered before if not having been directly in that situation before.

But this is not four blocks from LAX in a MacDonald's parking lot.

This is OUTER fuck*ng SPACE and these things you've never seen are holding fuck*ng LASER SWORDS OR SOMETHING.

The comedy comes from his different reaction to a theorethically-similar situation with a few important differences.

Simon WOULD probably react to human pornography the same way he would to purposely-bad singers, this is not so much an interesting comedy premise or, at least, for more than a one-panel joke. But a motherfucker is not just trying to comment wryly on two people fuckin' in a manner as he would to butchering "Free Bird"... his sense of the universe's order is being violated at the same time as he is trying to crackwise about a crack which is wise to the feel of a cock.

[dejavroom]

You overthink. You overthink too much.

not that there is anything wrong with that

[Bobby Isosceles]

Overthinking leads to things like this:

[dejavroom]

Pictures like that make me want to love everybody.