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@achewood Terrible dream where Bobby Flay came to my childhood home, danced on the table, recited verse, and we had nothing interesting for him to do.

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Author Topic: 15 things I have learned  (Read 26145 times)

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chuanoplast

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Re: 15 things I have learned
« Reply #45 on: April 09, 2007, 05:56:43 am »
Sadly, the only advice I can give is this:

1. Get up when your alarm clock rings the first time. Otherwise, you may hit the snooze button and suddenly wake up an hour later and completely late for your morning classes/work.

2. Don't eat milk products if you're lactose-intolerant and not taking something like lactaid. Even if you really like ice cream.

3. Knives are sharp. Remember this. Your fingers are important.

Truthfully, I have more advice, but it would only apply to specific instances of stupidity that most people would never encounter. Unfortunately, I am not most people.
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KeithHernandez

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Re: 15 things I have learned
« Reply #46 on: April 09, 2007, 06:39:10 am »
Don't write on CD-R's until the tracks have successfully copied.
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jough

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Re: 15 things I have learned
« Reply #47 on: April 10, 2007, 04:52:05 am »
* Don't download the screener rip of that new hollywood movie from a public tracker.  Use a private group.

* Don't suffer just to try to prove to someone else that you're hard.

* Don't ever look a gift hoss in the mouth, which basically means if someone offers you something you want or need, fuck*ng take it.  Don't let pride fuck with you.  Whenever you have a conflict between your greed and your pride, let the greed win every time.  Pride don't pay the rent, mufugga.

* Video games are huge time sucks, but they ain't gonna play themselves.  Since someone has to play them, it may as well be you.

* Let the ugly girl blow you.  She'll enjoy it more, work harder to please, and will have such low self-esteem as to not expect reciprocity.

* Give her hers anyway. 

* Sex is about her orgasm, asshole.  Yours is pretty much a given.  So get to work.

* That dipshit college kid who screwed up your lunch order at TGI McFriday's will be running the dang world someday.  That thought'll turn you off your feed faster than the chicken jalapeño guacamole shooters will.
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Doc

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Re: 15 things I have learned
« Reply #48 on: April 10, 2007, 07:23:10 am »
Quote from: jough on April 10, 2007, 04:52:05 am
Don't let pride fuck with you.

Fuck Pride!
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littlefallsmets

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Re: 15 things I have learned
« Reply #49 on: April 10, 2007, 02:03:13 pm »
L-Money, I reposted my answers into my journal and three of my friends posted their answers and... I do believe some of their friends have posted theirs.

Congratulations, you have birthed a meme. It has your eyes!
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linnea

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Re: 15 things I have learned
« Reply #50 on: April 10, 2007, 02:36:47 pm »
Quote from: littlefallsmets on April 10, 2007, 02:03:13 pm
L-Money, I reposted my answers into my journal and three of my friends posted their answers and... I do believe some of their friends have posted theirs.

Congratulations, you have birthed a meme. It has your eyes!

Heh, awesome nickname. Thanks!
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chuanoplast

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Re: 15 things I have learned
« Reply #51 on: April 10, 2007, 04:18:12 pm »
Quote from: jough on April 10, 2007, 04:52:05 am

* That dipshit college kid who screwed up your lunch order at TGI McFriday's will be running the dang world someday.  That thought'll turn you off your feed faster than the chicken jalapeņo guacamole shooters will.


Replace TGI Friday's with Quiznos and that describes my summer exactly. I still remember the face of every soccer mom that complained about a sandwich. Now I regret deciding not to be a science major because I don't know enough chemistry/biology to blow things up.
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theinevitable

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Re: 15 things I have learned
« Reply #52 on: April 10, 2007, 06:14:38 pm »
Quote
* Let the ugly girl blow you.

The concept that I could one day be allowing someone to perform oral sex on me is... bizarre.
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Social pressures exist
And if you think about them all of the time
You're gonna find that your head's been kicked in
You're gonna do it all for the grind

pmcd9

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Re: 15 things I have learned
« Reply #53 on: April 10, 2007, 09:14:32 pm »
Quote from: chuanoplast on April 10, 2007, 04:18:12 pm
Replace TGI Friday's with Quiznos and that describes my summer exactly. I still remember the face of every soccer mom that complained about a sandwich. Now I regret deciding not to be a science major because I don't know enough chemistry/biology to blow things up.

You want to blow up Quizno's because it reminds you how much you suck at making sandwiches?
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CortJstr

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Re: 15 things I have learned
« Reply #54 on: April 10, 2007, 09:43:45 pm »
Quote from: theinevitable on April 10, 2007, 06:14:38 pm
The concept that I could one day be allowing someone to perform oral sex on me is... bizarre.

For me this was high school. There was the ugly girl who never went on any dates and even her friends would frequently "forget" to tell her about gatherings because she was annoying. Starting in like 7th grade she decided that I was her ideal man and would try to get with me whenever I was single. She was of the "if I offer to be his fuck-buddy he'll slowly realize we're meant for each other" school of insanity.
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theinevitable

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Re: 15 things I have learned
« Reply #55 on: April 10, 2007, 09:54:56 pm »
oh no. so sad.

OK, now I am kind of thinking of a circumstance where I have a story. It was weird being in a situation where the lady wanted that more than I did. I am pretty sad that that girl ended up being a bitch, because damn was that a situation to be in.
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Social pressures exist
And if you think about them all of the time
You're gonna find that your head's been kicked in
You're gonna do it all for the grind

jough

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Re: 15 things I have learned
« Reply #56 on: April 11, 2007, 02:38:48 am »
Quote from: theinevitable on April 10, 2007, 06:14:38 pm
The concept that I could one day be allowing someone to perform oral sex on me is... bizarre.

Hey, this dick ain't gonna suck itself!

I think this is one of those "Thank you?  More like 'You're welcome.'" kinds of deals.

I also forgot to add that the ugly girl will try harder to please and probably be better at giving head than the really pretty girl who doesn't need to be skillful - although on the other side of that coin is the insanely pretty girl who overcompensates and excels at everything because she doesn't want people to think she's skating by on her looks.

So maybe let the neurotic really pretty girl blow you?  That way you get the competence AND good looks.  It's win-win.


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Doc

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Re: 15 things I have learned
« Reply #57 on: April 11, 2007, 03:32:20 am »
Quote from: jough on April 11, 2007, 02:38:48 am
So maybe let the neurotic really pretty girl blow you?  That way you get the competence AND good looks.  It's win-win.

What if they have a panic attack and bite? Then they realise what they are doing and descend further into a panic attack and get panic induced-lockjaw and they refuse to go near a hospital out of embarassment.
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chuanoplast

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Re: 15 things I have learned
« Reply #58 on: April 11, 2007, 03:40:39 am »
Quote from: pmcd9 on April 10, 2007, 09:14:32 pm
You want to blow up Quizno's because it reminds you how much you suck at making sandwiches?

I just want to blow things up in general. Alas, I can only make Mentos and Coca-Cola fountains.
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theinevitable

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Re: 15 things I have learned
« Reply #59 on: April 11, 2007, 04:05:40 am »
I can confirm; neurotic girls are the way to go.

Also: a guy down the hall says that the first really popular mentos + coke video on youtube was some guys he knows.

they are in the circus with him.
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Social pressures exist
And if you think about them all of the time
You're gonna find that your head's been kicked in
You're gonna do it all for the grind
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