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[Doc]

I'm more worried that he's getting off while still wearing his fancy shirt and a vest.

[V-Adore]

I'm more worried that he's getting off while still wearing his fancy shirt and a vest.

Yeah, I also have concerns. Regardless of whatever precision j/o-ing might be happening down there, I do not expect that to end well.

(If he has to send the thing in for dry-cleaning, will it be in another nearby town? And will he spill wine or something on the shirt first to attempt to obscure the biological nature of his laundry problem? Will he just burn the shirt?)

[Doc]

Probably just bury it beef-style.

That's assuming he supports the unscrupulous CRIMINALS at the local dry cleaners.
I'm sure he's got some 'Auny Luke's lentil alcohol chemical free' bestitute dry cleaning fluid at home.

[linnea]

Jesu, this thread is like a trainwreck.

I like to think that Pat is not engaged in Onanism while watching Braveheart, but perhaps he is preparing some sort of vegan entree in his motel room.

Also, given Pat's hatred of fat women, wouldn't that logically extend to fat men as well?

[side_show]

No, the level of shame Pat is displaying, I'm thinking incineration will be his method of incineration.

Story time?

Once upon a time, sexy times were had.  As is sometimes the case, sexy times lead to sheets in need of washing.  As the sheets were dark navy.. the evidence of sexy times was undeniable.  So sheets were stripped off of the bed, placed in the hamper for the next laundry opportunity, and forgotten about.

A short time later, for a reason I can't pin-point now, I went away, and my meddling mother, who had been given a key for cat-feeding purposes only, decided that while she was there she would do my laundry.  With my mom, this can be definitly read as a "you are a failure because you have dirty laundry" comment.  Now... this women is a controle freak, so we can all be certain that careful sorting of colours and darks occurred.  That evidence of sexy times were unavoidably seen.  

I came home from wherever I'd been to a neat pile of laundry, horrified to see the aforementioned sheet neatly folded on my dresser, and the other laundry neatly folded and placed on the hamper.   A clear, passive agressive statement in fabric:  "I know what you were doing.  I have seperated the sheet so that you know I know that you are filthy, and that I am superior for having cleaned if for you.

Also, my mother refused to return my key after that, which made me furious.

[wombat]

I like to think that Pat is not engaged in Onanism while watching Braveheart, but perhaps he is preparing some sort of vegan entree in his motel room.

Of course!  We can't see his hands. How do we know he's not chopping vegetables?

[Doc]

chopping vegetables?

Extremely intensely.
And self consciously.

Then again he could just be viewing Rod Huggins bursting through his wall as some kind of gift from above.

[linnea]

No, the level of shame Pat is displaying, I'm thinking incineration will be his method of incineration.

Story time?

Once upon a time, sexy times were had.  As is sometimes the case, sexy times lead to sheets in need of washing.  As the sheets were dark navy.. the evidence of sexy times was undeniable.  So sheets were stripped off of the bed, placed in the hamper for the next laundry opportunity, and forgotten about.

A short time later, for a reason I can't pin-point now, I went away, and my meddling mother, who had been given a key for cat-feeding purposes only, decided that while she was there she would do my laundry.  With my mom, this can be definitly read as a "you are a failure because you have dirty laundry" comment.  Now... this women is a controle freak, so we can all be certain that careful sorting of colours and darks occurred.  That evidence of sexy times were unavoidably seen. 

I came home from wherever I'd been to a neat pile of laundry, horrified to see the aforementioned sheet neatly folded on my dresser, and the other laundry neatly folded and placed on the hamper.   A clear, passive agressive statement in fabric:  "I know what you were doing.  I have seperated the sheet so that you know I know that you are filthy, and that I am superior for having cleaned if for you.

Also, my mother refused to return my key after that, which made me furious.

That story totally made my skin crawl. That's so awful. I always try to get all the contraband hidden in a secure location whenever I leave town, along with the Good Scotch so that the housesitter doesn't drink it. My mom looked after my cats once or twice, but if she snooped through my shit she was at least stealthy about it.

Ew. I can't believe your mum invaded your privacy like that. Heinous.

[jaydub]

Does Rod have extra nipples on his belly, or is that water or something?  Cats have more than we do naturally, but I don't think I've seen that before in Achewood.

Boo on nosy, passive aggressive, self-righteous parents! (Assuming you're out of the house - and I know you were).  Well, always boo on passive aggressiveness.  That's a very annoying personality trait.

[Arachno-capitalist]

  I came home from wherever I'd been to a neat pile of laundry, horrified to see the aforementioned sheet neatly folded on my dresser, and the other laundry neatly folded and placed on the hamper.   A clear, passive agressive statement in fabric:  "I know what you were doing.  I have seperated the sheet so that you know I know that you are filthy, and that I am superior for having cleaned if for you.

My mother and cats do this on a daily basis. My mom will always make it clear that she knows what ive been doing by putting things where Id know she put them. My cats have a habit of seeking out condoms and parading them around the house.

[side_show]

My mother and cats do this on a daily basis. My mom will always make it clear that she knows what ive been doing by putting things where Id know she put them. My cats have a habit of seeking out condoms and parading them around the house.

Gah!  Oh that is horrible.  I breifly thought used condoms... but then I remembered that one of ours does this with unused ones and tampons in their packaging all the times.  She loves the crinkle.  And I'm sure your cat is totally proud of having found it, all showing off.

[Charles Nelson Mandela]

A clear, passive agressive statement in fabric:  "I know what you were doing.  I have seperated the sheet so that you know I know that you are filthy, and that I am superior for having cleaned if for you.

Canned for the pure cringe factor, and for actually making me feel happy that I can't get laid.

Well, for about fifteen seconds or so, anyway.

[linnea]

My mother and cats do this on a daily basis. My mom will always make it clear that she knows what ive been doing by putting things where Id know she put them. My cats have a habit of seeking out condoms and parading them around the house.

Gah!  Oh that is horrible.  I breifly thought used condoms... but then I remembered that one of ours does this with unused ones and tampons in their packaging all the times.  She loves the crinkle.  And I'm sure your cat is totally proud of having found it, all showing off.

Hehehe... cats love to get you in trouble. When I was in high school, our cat Mitty giraffeed out my pack of smokes and left one chewed cigarette smack dab in the middle of the bed.

Actually...now that I think about it, my mom or dad probably saw the cat playing with it and put it on my bed where I'd be sure to find it. Mitty was also famous for getting tampons out of the box and leaving them all around the house.

Lennybruce (one of my cats) must be part raven because he loves to dig in the trash. Every time I unwrap a pad, Lenny comes RUNNING to get the plastic wrapper. I have to put them in the kitchen garbage can otherwise he'll giraffe them out of the bathroom trash can.

[Drygioni]

My cats have a habit of seeking out condoms and parading them around the house.

See, I have that problem, but with younger siblings. First time, I'd accidentally left the box somewhere conspicuous, and my youngest brother just brought them to me and asked me what they were. No-one around, no problems really.

But I made the fatal mistake of telling him 'This is grown-up stuff. Don't ever open the box or look for them again.'

For the next two weeks, the bugger would search my room for them, empty the box and hide each individual packet around the house. Christ, did that take some explaining to the parents. Furthermore, I'm still missing about three, and they're not cheap.

[Doc]

I'd love to hear your families thought process when they started finding them. Maybe they assumed you just wanted to be ready at any possible moment, anywhere in the house.