The OFFICIAL Unofficial Achewood Message Board

Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
Advanced search  

News:

@achewood C:\> Get on the Night Train. || You are on the Night Train. There is an Axl Rose here.

Pages: 1 2 3 [4] 5   Go Down

Author Topic: Fuck you Onstad, I can out-bacon you anyday.  (Read 12840 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

side_show

  • Sweet Fancy Moses
  • Mod Squad
  • Philippe is standing on it.
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 501
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Female
  • Posts: 6487
    • View Profile
Re: Fuck you Onstad, I can out-bacon you anyday.
« Reply #45 on: December 27, 2007, 09:29:50 pm »
Every part?  The eyes?  The tail?  The hair?  Certainly not every part... I hope.
Logged
Abuse of power comes as no surprise.

wombat

  • English-Speaking Pizza
  • Moderator
  • Dude since Knucklehead times
  • *
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 644
  • Offline Offline
  • Posts: 12493
  • Yeah man, these are pugs, not some fuck*ng lolcat.
    • View Profile
Re: Fuck you Onstad, I can out-bacon you anyday.
« Reply #46 on: December 27, 2007, 09:34:01 pm »
Bourdain eats eyes all the time, is my impression of that show. Although hair... not so much.
Logged
What is this, the fuckin' Algonquin Round Table or some shit?  - Nabu

If you're going to change your life then you have to change it every day, not just the days the world isn't taking a shit on you. -Doc

Doc

  • Growing Cucumbers of Impressive Dimensions
  • Writer's Workshoppers
  • Philippe is standing on it.
  • *
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 1408
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 5017
  • an emergency backup pug
    • View Profile
Re: Fuck you Onstad, I can out-bacon you anyday.
« Reply #47 on: December 27, 2007, 10:18:00 pm »
Quote from: pmcd9 on December 27, 2007, 07:34:17 pm
Also again, ti, are you jewish now?

Nah man, he ain't jewish, he just don't dig on swine that's all.
Logged
Inev: 'A lot of things are ridiculous if you think about them long enough, you know?'

Golfhaus

  • VIP
  • Onstad's Left Shoe
  • *
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 116
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 1625
  • He does not approve. Not at all.
    • View Profile
    • http://www.prolefeed.com
Re: Fuck you Onstad, I can out-bacon you anyday.
« Reply #48 on: December 27, 2007, 11:12:19 pm »
I could give up pork, much like I could give up Burger King Whoppers, sex, or doughnuts.

The question is... why?
Logged

Nabubrush

  • Nightlife Mingus
  • VIP
  • Philippe is standing on it
  • *
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 448
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 8782
  • The cat wonders if the camera is a foodstuff.
    • View Profile
    • Intonarumoron
Re: Fuck you Onstad, I can out-bacon you anyday.
« Reply #49 on: December 28, 2007, 07:18:00 pm »
Logged
Never feel that you're out of the loop, because the loop is you. - Platon

Carlos del Vaca

  • The Mayor
  • VIP
  • Philippe is standing on it.
  • *
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 1316
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 5007
  • Greetings from Banana Town
    • View Profile
    • bigfool.com
Re: Fuck you Onstad, I can out-bacon you anyday.
« Reply #50 on: December 29, 2007, 04:05:53 am »
Logged
My friends call me the Mayor.
My enemies don't call me anything.  'Cuz they're all dead.

side_show

  • Sweet Fancy Moses
  • Mod Squad
  • Philippe is standing on it.
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 501
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Female
  • Posts: 6487
    • View Profile
Re: Fuck you Onstad, I can out-bacon you anyday.
« Reply #51 on: December 29, 2007, 08:04:47 pm »
Logged
Abuse of power comes as no surprise.

pmcd9

  • Mod Squad
  • Dude since Knucklehead times
  • *
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 608
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 12778
  • The Kid is up to no good
    • View Profile
Re: Fuck you Onstad, I can out-bacon you anyday.
« Reply #52 on: December 31, 2007, 08:56:43 am »
Logged
I hope I never have to refer to a scone in spoken conversation.

littlefallsmets

  • Writer's Workshoppers
  • Philippe is standing on it.
  • *
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 363
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 6294
  • the perfect is the enemy of the good
    • View Profile
    • this is where I jot down random ideas
Re: Fuck you Onstad, I can out-bacon you anyday.
« Reply #53 on: December 31, 2007, 09:22:58 am »
Christ, that's just such a great name for a link, I don't even wanna click it.

I don't wanna ruin the mystique.

Here, here is another tiny can of soda for the shelves of Paul's Boutique.

Your link title was that good.
Logged
I do the Tweets @Cecconi140

side_show

  • Sweet Fancy Moses
  • Mod Squad
  • Philippe is standing on it.
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 501
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Female
  • Posts: 6487
    • View Profile
Re: Fuck you Onstad, I can out-bacon you anyday.
« Reply #54 on: December 31, 2007, 06:18:44 pm »
Quote from: pmcd9 on December 31, 2007, 08:56:43 am
Worlds Largest Hog

Your facial expression is priceless!  It's like you're saying "What?!"
Logged
Abuse of power comes as no surprise.

V-Adore

  • Guest
Re: Fuck you Onstad, I can out-bacon you anyday.
« Reply #55 on: December 31, 2007, 11:43:36 pm »
I would say "what?" if faced with that hog.

If it's actually made out of pig iron, that is easily the largest and heaviest pun I've ever seen.
Logged

Lister

  • Teodor
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 101
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 892
  • 2, 4, 6, 8, time to transubstantiate!
    • View Profile
Re: Fuck you Onstad, I can out-bacon you anyday.
« Reply #56 on: January 01, 2008, 07:42:11 am »
I am sorry you were in Dothan.
Logged
Lister.  Not that one, the other one.

side_show

  • Sweet Fancy Moses
  • Mod Squad
  • Philippe is standing on it.
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 501
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Female
  • Posts: 6487
    • View Profile
Re: Fuck you Onstad, I can out-bacon you anyday.
« Reply #57 on: January 01, 2008, 07:53:38 pm »
Quote from: V-Adore on December 31, 2007, 11:43:36 pm
I would say "what?" if faced with that hog.

If it's actually made out of pig iron, that is easily the largest and heaviest pun I've ever seen.

Yeah, I imagine the maker of that pig, lugging around hunks of pig iron, reassuring himself "This is hard work, but it will be so worth it.  This is so funny."  And then at the unveiling, golf claps and polite chuckles from the owner of Dothan Recycling, and the maker is all "don't you get it?  It's a pig, made out of pig iron!" 

"Oh, yeah... I get it.  Funny." 
"No  - I spent 3 days hauling iron around.  I lost 30 pounds of sweat welding it together."
"Yeah, and I said it's funny." 
"But you didn't laugh - not really." 
"Oh, well, it's cute.  Ha."
"See - that was a forced laugh."
"Look you need to calm down."
"No!  I will not calm down!  I spent weeks drafting this pig out!  I consulted with Carrot Top's design team!  This is funny!  You just don't know what funny is!"
"Okay.  Okay Mr. Smith... we like your pig!  Dothan Recycling is prepared to pay you..."
"You suits just don't get me!  I'm an artist!  That pig... that pig is personal.  It's my heart up there!"
"Sure... okay"
"Why are you taking out your cell phone!"
"I'm... I think I should call your wife."
"No.  No god damn it!  Look at my pig.  Look at it!  You need to see my pig.  You need to really see it."
"Yeah, I'm calling Nancy."

Later Mr.Smith's wife Nancy divorces him and he takes out the owner of Dothan Recycling before returning to the pig statue where he attempts to destroy the pig.  Sadly though, the pig will not fall - pig iron is sturdy, and his welding job of such high quality.  Mr. Smith climbs a top the pig as rain starts to fall, and begins clanging a shovel over the pig's face, making only cursory scratches.  In a final swing of the shovel Mr. Smith accidentally cuts loose the overhead wires and electrocutes himself.  The local paper prints the headline "Death by Piggyback" with an accompanying article rife with references to barbecue, pig headedness, etc.  Sadly, no one laughs at the article either.  This is why puns are so horrible.  They're not just weak humour - they kill.
« Last Edit: January 01, 2008, 09:06:22 pm by side_show »
Logged
Abuse of power comes as no surprise.

Nabubrush

  • Nightlife Mingus
  • VIP
  • Philippe is standing on it
  • *
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 448
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 8782
  • The cat wonders if the camera is a foodstuff.
    • View Profile
    • Intonarumoron
Re: Fuck you Onstad, I can out-bacon you anyday.
« Reply #58 on: January 03, 2008, 07:20:01 pm »
Quote from: side_show on January 01, 2008, 07:53:38 pm
I consulted with Carrot Top's design team!

The best thing about Carrot Top is Mr. Show's parody of him: Blueberry Head.

Of course, his image is everywhere in Vegas due to his show at the Luxor. We took to just calling him Satan, because of the surgery.

I'd have tossed in a picture of the results of the HGH and steroids, but I'll leave that as a exercise for the viewer.
Logged
Never feel that you're out of the loop, because the loop is you. - Platon

theinevitable

  • Writer's Workshoppers
  • Dude since Knucklehead times
  • *
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 486
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 12139
    • View Profile
    • tweet tweet fun fun
Re: Fuck you Onstad, I can out-bacon you anyday.
« Reply #59 on: January 03, 2008, 07:36:34 pm »
probably the number one thing that makes me so glad that we officially live in The Future is that I can see that, say "huh, I have never seen that episode of Mr Show," and instead of going out and buying all the DVDs, I can look that shit up on youtube.

...it seems, though, that congress, copyright lawyers, the RIAA, and a lot of other people don't want to live in the future, though.
I mean, for the love of God, I collect vinyl records and I love putting songs on my iPod. How can they think that saying it is illegal to copy a CD to your computer is a viable business model?

at the same time, lately my computer/youtube don't want to be in the future, either.... searches on youtube are taking forever. Is anyone else having this problem?
Logged
Social pressures exist
And if you think about them all of the time
You're gonna find that your head's been kicked in
You're gonna do it all for the grind
Pages: 1 2 3 [4] 5   Go Up
« previous next »