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[Nabubrush]

This has probably either been touched on or explicitly discussed, but I offer:

Sabbra Cadabra, as covered by Metallica. I forgot how much like ass this is.

Almost unlistenable. First of all, if you are going to cover a band with such a distinctive sound, you better make sure to change it up. The only thing that's different is that James Hetfield has that stupid metal voice. Also, Kirk Hammet's guitar is so incredibly clinical. I never really thought of Tony Iommi's playing as being especially soulful, but Kirk and the rest of the band really squeeze all the joy and life out of this song. Why couldn't they have covered something off Never Say Die - or better yet, Headless Cross?

[Ruta Bagas]

I saw an awesome local band in a little town in Normandy once that played some really beautiful covers. I can't decide whether I preferred the excellent ABBA medley with lengthy accordion solo or the rendition of Cotton Eye Joe sung by the bassist, who spoke very little English and hence was just imitating the sounds as best he could. Musically, they were dreadful, but they were so entertaining I can't really hold it against them.

Properly rubbish cover versions by established bands? Memory fails me. I heard an appaling Hallelujah the other day, but they're ten a penny. Possibly fifteen.

[Nabubrush]

I saw an awesome local band in a little town in Normandy once that played some really beautiful covers. I can't decide whether I preferred the excellent ABBA medley with lengthy accordion solo or the rendition of Cotton Eye Joe sung by the bassist, who spoke very little English and hence was just imitating the sounds as best he could. Musically, they were dreadful, but they were so entertaining I can't really hold it against them.

Properly rubbish cover versions by established bands? Memory fails me. I heard an apalling Hallelujah the other day, but they're ten a penny. Possibly fifteen.

But clearly you have just located a penny.

[Limmo]

Sabbra Cadabra, as covered by Metallica. I forgot how much like ass this is.

The original is pretty spiffy, especially when they break it down at the end and go for this part-Sabbath/part-Meters piano jam at the end.  When I bought Garage Inc. I found myself wondering how Metallica would handle trying to be funky.  Answer: they avoided the issue entirely and played the verse of "A National Acrobat" instead.  Lame. 

Actually, you could choose anything off that disc and pretty much guarantee a win in this category.  Though I must single out their acoustic destruction of Skynyrd's "Tuesday's Gone," which may be not only the worst cover I've ever heard, but worst song period. 

[V-Adore]

I would pay for a disc of Hallelujahs -- good, bad, and otherwise. That stuff is gold.

As for hideous covers, can I nominate the version of "New York, New York" I once heard played on car horns? It was a classic whistling-dog-style cover -- lady, it's great that you can do this, but stop doing it!

[Ruta Bagas]

Even if that disc contained a rendition... on car horns?

Actually, come to think of it, I'd pay for that too. Although I guess if it was a car-horn rendition of the original it might be a smidgen dull...

EDIT: A present.

[CortJstr]

I'm not sure if this really counts, but TMBG's version of Lady Is a Tramp is pretty dissonant and unfun.

[Lister]

Does William Hung's cover of She Bangs even qualify?  I'm not entirely sure the original even counts as music.

Let's see... in the "just plain bad" category we have:

Limp Bizkit - Faith
MC Hammer - Have You Seen Her
Korn - Another Brick In The Wall
Celine Dion - You Shook Me All Night Long
Kid Rock - Feel Like Makin' Love
William Shatner - Anything
Paris Hilton - Anything

And for the "completely different" (but sometimes completely awesome) category we have:

The Lemonheads - Mrs. Robinson
Tori Amos - Smells Like Teen Spirit
Rodriguo y Gabriela - Stairway to Heaven*
Save Ferris - Come On Eileen
The Gipsy Kings - Hotel California

*This is completely awesome.

[pmcd9]

I just saw an ad for Rodriguo y Gabriela in which they were billed as "gypsy metal."  I didn't know what to make of this.

[side_show]

MC Hammer - Have You Seen Her

Oh.  Oh.  Yes.  So bad.  Like, when he talk-sings "have you seen her?" With the weird emphasis on "you" like he's just so pathetic that he's hoping one of his listeners has seen her and will give him a call.  Just, bad.

That Gnarls Barkley cover of "Gone Daddy, Gone" is pretty bad. 

Johnny Cash singing "Hurt" is great.

The Rascal Flatts cover of "Life is a Highway" is awful.  Not that the original song was any good either though.

Also, there are some really horrible covers on both Guitar Hero and Guitar Hero II.  Terrible stuff.

[CortJstr]

The Beach Boy's cover of Barbara Ann is way better than the original.

It's corny but part of me still likes the Run DMC version of Walk This Way.

I probably could've done without Rob Zombie's Blitzkrieg Bop.

[theinevitable]

That Gnarls Barkley cover of "Gone Daddy, Gone" is pretty bad.

Really? I kind of like it. My friend who is really into hip-hop didn't know that that wasn't the original version of the song.

[V-Adore]

Johnny Cash singing "Hurt" is great.

Is there any song Johnny Cash covered that he did not make intensely dignified and beautiful? I've listened to his covers of "Hurt," "Personal Jesus," and "Solitary Man" on repeat so many times that I'm surprised I haven't managed to wear through the MP3s. (Via, you know, magic.)

[KeithHernandez]

His cover of Bonnie 'Prince' Billie's "I See a Darkness" is probably the only song he covered that he didn't make better.

[pmcd9]

His cover of Bonnie 'Prince' Billie's "I See a Darkness" is probably the only song he covered that he didn't make better.

Agreed.  But JC's version isn't bad.