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[linnea]

Okay, party people. What kind of bullshit tactics do the TSA fucks take?

Every fuck*ng time I try to go through security, I get searched. I get taken aside and wanded, patted down, the whole nine yards. They always tell me that it's "Random". Yeah right.

Do they search out people who are angry? Hurried? Stressed? In a rush? I'm Sicilian for God's sake, not Arab or Middle Eastern, so why are they profiling me? Should I take heavy tranquilizers before flying so that I'm nicer? Any help you guys could offer would be great, because I'm going to snap someday and then I'll probably get arrested and beaten for yelling at a TSA employee. I hate flying enough as it is, and I'm fuck*ng sick of being publicly groped by TSA employees.

[AugustWest]

Okay, party people. What kind of bullshit tactics do the TSA fucks take?

Every fuck*ng time I try to go through security, I get searched. I get taken aside and wanded, patted down, the whole nine yards. They always tell me that it's "Random". Yeah right.

Do they search out people who are angry? Hurried? Stressed? In a rush? I'm Sicilian for God's sake, not Arab or Middle Eastern, so why are they profiling me? Should I take heavy tranquilizers before flying so that I'm nicer? Any help you guys could offer would be great, because I'm going to snap someday and then I'll probably get arrested and beaten for yelling at a TSA employee. I hate flying enough as it is, and I'm fuck*ng sick of being publicly groped by TSA employees.

I think the security dudes just want to frisk you. 

And who could blame them?

[Nabubrush]

Do not tell me about hating to fly.

[theinevitable]

I am still at a point in my life where things like flying (and thus, having to take the metro there, checking in, etc), residing, grocery shopping, and working alone are really satisfying to me. Going through security by myself basically makes me feel like a grown-up, is what I am saying.
Here's hoping I'm immature enough that I never get sick of it. But, you know, fat chance.

[ImpyChick]

I think the security dudes just want to frisk you. 

And who could blame them?

This is my theory, as well.

[Ruta Bagas]

Well, at least shit like this makes it easier on those of us who have too much climate-change related guilt afoot to ever feel comfortable on a plane again.

Those who are forced through this rigmarole by circumstances have my sympathies. Airports are horrible places.

[Golfhaus]

Okay, party people. What kind of bullshit tactics do the TSA fucks take?

Every fuck*ng time I try to go through security, I get searched. I get taken aside and wanded, patted down, the whole nine yards. They always tell me that it's "Random". Yeah right.

Do they search out people who are angry? Hurried? Stressed? In a rush? I'm Sicilian for God's sake, not Arab or Middle Eastern, so why are they profiling me? Should I take heavy tranquilizers before flying so that I'm nicer? Any help you guys could offer would be great, because I'm going to snap someday and then I'll probably get arrested and beaten for yelling at a TSA employee. I hate flying enough as it is, and I'm fuck*ng sick of being publicly groped by TSA employees.

As an airline employee, here's what I've experienced:

1) If your name isn't on the TSA lists, but close enough to one that is, the system will take the safe road and select you for the additional screening. This isn't a designation the people who man the checkpoints make. This is done at check-in by the computers.

2) Depending on the protocols that are in place on that particular day, a checkpoint might be required to send a higher random percentage of people through the additional screening. One possible protocol requires that there be someone going through the additional screening at all times. If the checkpoint is empty, and you show up, you get to be the one. If you show up when someone is just finishing getting their strip search, you take their place.

3) Sometimes it's just dumb luck. I've known people who have gone through checkpoints for three years and never gotten searched, and then one month it happens six or seven times in a row.

4) The TSA understands that not all terrorists are Arabic... even if the rest of Dubya's Amurricah does not.

[side_show]

Side note:  If you are an Aboriginal Canadian at LAX everyone will speak to you in Spanish.  If you say "pardon me?" they will assume you are being critical of their Spanish and either be a cock or speak more slowly in Spanish.

Also upon returning home, landing in LAX from Asia, everyone on my flight but me got finger printed.  We had been warned that we would be fingerprinted by a stewardess before landing, but the customs guy glanced at my Canadian passport and waved me through with out a word.  I watched all the people ahead of me in line being finger printed including little kids.  That was some weird shit.  It actually made me feel really angry.  I really wanted to ask why... it seems extremely crass.  I really felt like criminal, waiting in line to be finger printed like that.  But I just wanted to get home.