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Author Topic: I don't want to buy a ferret  (Read 15665 times)

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theinevitable

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Re: I don't want to buy a ferret
« Reply #15 on: August 01, 2007, 09:14:42 pm »

Quote
Also, I like getting laid so having my living quarters not smell like ass is kind of a priority.

oh... my god! it all seems so simple now!
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Limmo

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Re: I don't want to buy a ferret
« Reply #16 on: August 01, 2007, 09:41:35 pm »

Komodo dragons are the most disgusting creatures to walk the earth.   

When male Komodo dragons wish to mate, they fight over the female.  The victor then lays down on top of the loser and rakes his claws up and down the loser's body, to add insult to injury. 

Their mouths are filled with fetid bacteria.  When they wish to eat, they chomp some poor mammal on the leg, which gets bacteria into said mammal's bloodstream.  The dragon then follows the poor mammal around while it slowly dies of gangrenous infection.  Then they chow down. 

So, yeah, man up and get a Komodo dragon!

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AugustWest

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Re: I want to buy a ferret
« Reply #17 on: August 01, 2007, 10:00:09 pm »

The funniest part of the documentary was the end, when it was noted that there was around 298 ferrets entered in the ferret show, and that something like 307 awards were given out.  Everyone was awarded something.  The SO and I were laughing, and I was saying that I should enter the ferret show with our one cat that has markings like a ferret, and just get all crazy when the judges point out that he'd a cat "No.  Noooo!  He's a ferret!  Now give me my ribbon!  He's a ferret!  I don't care what you say!  Where's my ribbon?  Where's my ribbon?!"

WRONG!

The funniest part of the documentary was the poor pathetic lady singing her ferret song. 

Oh ferret
My ferret
Collector of
things...


Cringeworthy.
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pmcd9

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Re: I don't want to buy a ferret
« Reply #18 on: August 01, 2007, 10:01:10 pm »

Get a Rhinoceros.
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pmcd9

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Re: I want to buy a ferret
« Reply #19 on: August 01, 2007, 10:04:27 pm »

Cringeworthy.

I found quite a lot of that documentary to be cringeworthy, but the part about the plethora of ribbons being handed out was the funniest part of the show.
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Golfhaus

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Re: I don't want to buy a ferret
« Reply #20 on: August 01, 2007, 10:11:22 pm »

My daughter's mother, back when we dated in college, had a ferret. Then three. Then four. They were cute. They were fun. When we broke up I missed them a lot. It's kind of a lifestyle choice, and they have their bad points, but so do all animals. Guinea pigs are awesome, though. I'd rather have two pigs or two ferrets than one of each.
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Nabubrush

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Re: I don't want to buy a ferret
« Reply #21 on: August 01, 2007, 11:25:59 pm »

When male Komodo dragons wish to mate, they fight over the female.  The victor then lays down on top of the loser and rakes his claws up and down the loser's body, to add insult to injury. 

Well, I guess your way of making love is beautiful and romantic, but I think you're being pretty prejudiced. Not everyone goes the candy and flowers route, you know. If I hadn't behaved like that, I probably never owuld have even gotten to first base with my wife, let alone married her. Plus, the loser seemed to sort of enjoy it.
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Doc

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Re: I want to buy a ferret
« Reply #22 on: August 02, 2007, 11:29:19 am »

Oh no, not an iguana. Did you know that if you manage not to kill your iguana it will eventually grow to be six feet long?

All the more reason. I want a pet that will outlive me, I don't deal well with heartbreak.
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wombat

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Re: I don't want to buy a ferret
« Reply #23 on: August 02, 2007, 02:45:06 pm »

An iguana won't outlive you unless you're only planning to live another 15 or so years. It will just take up a very large amount of space in the meantime.
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side_show

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Re: I want to buy a ferret
« Reply #24 on: August 02, 2007, 03:42:37 pm »

I found quite a lot of that documentary to be cringeworthy, but the part about the plethora of ribbons being handed out was the funniest part of the show.

The SO and I both found the most horrifying part was when the lady who made songs about her ferrets started talking about how she kept the remains of her dead ferrets and the ferrets of associates in her freezer (with her food!) so as to amass enough ferret corpses to get a cut rate on cremation based on weight, and that she then used a measuring spoon to dole out the cremated remains among herself and the owners of the other ferrets.  She calmly reasoned that if a certain person gave three ferrets for cremation they would get more ashes than someone who'd given one.  A mixed bag of ferret ash...  Also she kept the remains in tea tins around the house, and I had this horrible thought that someone might mistake it for actual tea, and then... but perhaps it fair to reason that no one would be visiting this lady, or that if they were, they would know better than to be randomly helping themselves to "tea" they found around the house.
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wombat

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Re: I don't want to buy a ferret
« Reply #25 on: August 02, 2007, 03:55:36 pm »

Sadly, I have never seen this ferret program. But someone sent me a link to this ad for a ferret show recently:

http://www.hofa-rescue.org/default.aspx?pageid=l3cM6MyYJDsO5vRjS%2Ffagw%3D%3D

Unfortunately my corporate masters don't give me a travel budget, but I found out that there's a local show in October. If they are having a costume contest I am definitely going to go and do a story. I could just interview people over the phone, of course, but a picture of the ferret costume contest would be worth the trip. I mean, seriously, wouldn't you read ANYTHING that was accompanied by a photo of a ferret in Elizabethan dress?
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jaydub

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Re: I don't want to buy a ferret
« Reply #26 on: August 02, 2007, 04:03:11 pm »

I mean, seriously, wouldn't you read ANYTHING that was accompanied by a photo of a ferret in Elizabethan dress?
Read?  Hell, I'd buy a ferret, name him Lord Byron, and set him loose among the Elizabethan lady ferrets.
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AugustWest

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Re: I want to buy a ferret
« Reply #27 on: August 02, 2007, 07:31:35 pm »

The SO and I both found the most horrifying part was when the lady who made songs about her ferrets started talking about how she kept the remains of her dead ferrets and the ferrets of associates in her freezer (with her food!) so as to amass enough ferret corpses to get a cut rate on cremation based on weight, and that she then used a measuring spoon to dole out the cremated remains among herself and the owners of the other ferrets.  She calmly reasoned that if a certain person gave three ferrets for cremation they would get more ashes than someone who'd given one.  A mixed bag of ferret ash...  Also she kept the remains in tea tins around the house, and I had this horrible thought that someone might mistake it for actual tea, and then... but perhaps it fair to reason that no one would be visiting this lady, or that if they were, they would know better than to be randomly helping themselves to "tea" they found around the house.

Yes, because you get a better rate on cremation if you've got 25 pounds of ferret to burn.
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smick

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Re: I want to buy a ferret
« Reply #28 on: August 02, 2007, 07:56:24 pm »

Yes, because you get a better rate on cremation if you've got 25 pounds of ferret to burn.

God that turns horrific when you do the math.
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side_show

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Re: I don't want to buy a ferret
« Reply #29 on: August 02, 2007, 08:10:04 pm »

Yeah, and there was just a shot of this big freezer as she explained that they were in there with her meat!

Also, today I got to see some 7 day old Guinea pig "pups."  The sign actually said "pups."  Is that for real?  This store has a giraffe named Joey Jojo Shabado Jr., so I never know if they're serious about anything. 

Also at the store, a lady cut in front of me in line (when I was next up at the counter for god sake!) when I was trying to buy my blood worms, only to make the counter girl go to the fridge and get out a pack of frozen pinkie mice for her.  If you don't have the stomach to open the frozen fridge of pet foods, but you want a bag of frozen newborn mice... then you don't make any sense to me.  I wanted to bitch her out, but I didn't want to make it worse so I just sighed and rolled my eyes.
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