The OFFICIAL Unofficial Achewood Message Board

Please login or register.

Login with username, password and session length
Advanced search  

News:

Man Pat you don't gotta talk to me like they teach you in that class for people with too much anger.

Pages: [1] 2 3   Go Down

Author Topic: The Billion Dollar Idea Department  (Read 4883 times)

0 Members and 1 Guest are viewing this topic.

pmcd9

  • Mod Squad
  • Dude since Knucklehead times
  • *
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 608
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 12778
  • The Kid is up to no good
    • View Profile
The Billion Dollar Idea Department
« on: August 03, 2007, 03:49:39 pm »
I keep having them, but I give them away.  It looks like someone is taking the Christian Porn idea and running with it.

But that's not the billion dollar idea I want to talk about today.  This one is for our man Mike trying to find his way as a screenwriter.  Write a remake of Cyrano de Bergerac, bring it into the digital era.

Fly me out to LA for the premiere.
Logged
I hope I never have to refer to a scone in spoken conversation.

jay-ell

  • Den Mother
  • VIP
  • Philippe is standing on it.
  • *
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 407
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Female
  • Posts: 7869
    • View Profile
Re: The Billion Dollar Idea Department
« Reply #1 on: August 03, 2007, 04:02:35 pm »
Didn't Steve Martin sort of do that already? 

I have to say, though, that digital-age retelling of classic tales and myths is a pretty hot idea.  I mean, Pedro rewrote Pygmalion with computers and I thought that was pretty brilliant. 
Logged
"I always hear 'punch me in the face' when you're speaking. But it's usually subtext." -- Martin Freeman as John Watson

Doc

  • Growing Cucumbers of Impressive Dimensions
  • Writer's Workshoppers
  • Philippe is standing on it.
  • *
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 1408
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 5017
  • an emergency backup pug
    • View Profile
Re: The Billion Dollar Idea Department
« Reply #2 on: August 03, 2007, 04:10:53 pm »
Not all remakes need to happen though, some stuff gets so far away from the original you wonder why they bother even using the name, for example...

Also that link is awesome Paul, if only for the other articles listed at the bottom:
"Oral sex and God's will, Anal Sex and God's Will, Viagra and God's will.
Bondage in Christ"
Logged
Inev: 'A lot of things are ridiculous if you think about them long enough, you know?'

theinevitable

  • Writer's Workshoppers
  • Dude since Knucklehead times
  • *
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 486
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 12139
    • View Profile
    • tweet tweet fun fun
Re: The Billion Dollar Idea Department
« Reply #3 on: August 03, 2007, 04:22:24 pm »
I'm just thinking...

I'll do, like, a cyber-age version of "The Grapes of Wrath," or even...

I don't know. Harry Potter or something.

The concept I am doing a poor job of putting across is that I will write a "modern" version of a book that is not that old.

BONDAGE IN CHRIST!
FISTING AND GOD'S WILL!

PS: "Have anal sex so that you can stay a virgin until you are married"
PPS: "Always swallow."
« Last Edit: August 03, 2007, 04:28:08 pm by theinevitable »
Logged
Social pressures exist
And if you think about them all of the time
You're gonna find that your head's been kicked in
You're gonna do it all for the grind

jaydub

  • VIP
  • Philippe is standing on it.
  • *
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 1493
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 5056
  • Arrant pedantry
    • View Profile
Re: The Billion Dollar Idea Department
« Reply #4 on: August 03, 2007, 04:27:16 pm »
There's some factoid knocking around in my head about the fact that there are only, like, 7 stories in human history - everything else is variations on those themes.  Plus David Lynch.
Logged
If you desire peace, work for justice.

jay-ell

  • Den Mother
  • VIP
  • Philippe is standing on it.
  • *
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 407
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Female
  • Posts: 7869
    • View Profile
Re: The Billion Dollar Idea Department
« Reply #5 on: August 03, 2007, 04:37:04 pm »
Wow.  Just...wow. 

I'm so glad to know that Jesus approves of my under-the-bed restraint system. 

I guess I'll have to grow my hair long and start wearing makeup, though. 

Seriously, I'm a church-every-week kind of girl, and I've given my share of pre-marital  blowjobs (and post-marital ones, thanks for your concern), but I didn't for a minute believe that swallowing was the will of God.

I notice that mention of cunnilingus is remarkably absent in the article about oral sex?  But M-F-F threesomes are OK? 

Freaky. 
Logged
"I always hear 'punch me in the face' when you're speaking. But it's usually subtext." -- Martin Freeman as John Watson

littlefallsmets

  • Writer's Workshoppers
  • Philippe is standing on it.
  • *
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 363
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 6294
  • the perfect is the enemy of the good
    • View Profile
    • this is where I jot down random ideas
Re: The Billion Dollar Idea Department
« Reply #6 on: August 03, 2007, 05:16:50 pm »
Oh man.

Cyrano Debergerac... with *****S.

C/Run/Zero-DBRK.

It would be like Heartbeeps meets The Bicentennial Man meets Heartbeeps again.

"He's got a heart of gold... plated circuitry!"

Oh man. Oh. Man.

Also:

Oral sex on a lady is just assumed as good and right, implicitly, even by the Bible.

It is basically the only reason society exists, that you gals haven't left us all out in the snow to die punching each other and shoving berries up our noses... people will say that humanity was able to climb out of the trees and build cities because of opposable thumbs and up-right walking but most of the time, people other than me are wrong.

The great and glorious sacrament of eating box is pretty much what separates people from non-thinking beasts. It causes women, with their minds' miraculous ability to "think about more than one thing at once" something I cannot even fathom, to mostly put up with men and to take the time to trick us into not just beating each other up and laughing at farts.

The glory of going down on a lady is assumed.
Logged
I do the Tweets @Cecconi140

jay-ell

  • Den Mother
  • VIP
  • Philippe is standing on it.
  • *
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 407
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Female
  • Posts: 7869
    • View Profile
Re: The Billion Dollar Idea Department
« Reply #7 on: August 03, 2007, 05:44:01 pm »
Oh, lfm, you get such a can for that. 
Logged
"I always hear 'punch me in the face' when you're speaking. But it's usually subtext." -- Martin Freeman as John Watson

pmcd9

  • Mod Squad
  • Dude since Knucklehead times
  • *
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 608
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 12778
  • The Kid is up to no good
    • View Profile
Re: The Billion Dollar Idea Department
« Reply #8 on: August 03, 2007, 07:54:43 pm »
Mike you are gonna fell like such an chump when this movie gets made and you ain't the one that wrote it.

Quote from: jldunston on August 03, 2007, 04:02:35 pm
Didn't Steve Martin sort of do that already?

No, not at all.  He made a modern (well 80's modern at least) version of Cyrano, but I'm talking about bringing it into the internet age.  You've got Mail is closer to what I am talking about, but that is a completely different kind of story.  The idea is ripe with possibilities.  So much potential.
Logged
I hope I never have to refer to a scone in spoken conversation.

linnea

  • VIP
  • Ocular Shenanigans
  • *
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 168
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Female
  • Posts: 3332
    • View Profile
Re: The Billion Dollar Idea Department
« Reply #9 on: August 03, 2007, 09:40:48 pm »
LFM, that was a glorious treatise to one of my favorite things. You get a tiny can of Dr. Pepper for that.
Logged

Nabubrush

  • Nightlife Mingus
  • VIP
  • Philippe is standing on it
  • *
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 448
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 8782
  • The cat wonders if the camera is a foodstuff.
    • View Profile
    • Intonarumoron
Re: The Billion Dollar Idea Department
« Reply #10 on: August 03, 2007, 10:28:47 pm »
Quote from: littlefallsmets on August 03, 2007, 05:16:50 pm
LFM enjoys cunnilingus.

Ain't you mentioned this before? Not trying to accuse you of recycling, but this sounds familiar, and it's clearly something that you feel strongly about. (I'm all for it, obviously - pretty much all kinda action is good.)
Logged
Never feel that you're out of the loop, because the loop is you. - Platon

AugustWest

  • Over Easy
  • Philosopher King
  • Dude since Knucklehead times
  • *
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 774
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 10549
  • Bulbous, also tapered.
    • View Profile
Re: The Billion Dollar Idea Department
« Reply #11 on: August 04, 2007, 04:40:59 am »
I wish I was cynical enough to follow the advice that P.T. Barnum and H.L. Mencken gave us.

-- F.L. Dempsey
Logged
Infinitely vast, infinitely detailed.

RMJ12345

  • Lie Bot
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 45
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Female
  • Posts: 381
  • all employing the principles of hopping
    • View Profile
    • myspace
Re: The Billion Dollar Idea Department
« Reply #12 on: August 07, 2007, 04:22:08 pm »
Quote from: theinevitable on August 03, 2007, 04:22:24 pm
I'm just thinking...

I'll do, like, a cyber-age version of "The Grapes of Wrath," or even...

I don't know. Harry Potter or something.

The concept I am doing a poor job of putting across is that I will write a "modern" version of a book that is not that old.

BONDAGE IN CHRIST!
FISTING AND GOD'S WILL!

PS: "Have anal sex so that you can stay a virgin until you are married"
PPS: "Always swallow."

Grapes of Wrath is totally old enough to re-do. Harry Potter isn't, though.
Logged

theinevitable

  • Writer's Workshoppers
  • Dude since Knucklehead times
  • *
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 486
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Male
  • Posts: 12139
    • View Profile
    • tweet tweet fun fun
Re: The Billion Dollar Idea Department
« Reply #13 on: August 07, 2007, 05:01:39 pm »
ok, so, I am not sure what I was saying in that post that wasn't the same as what Paul was saying. i swear, I had some kind of point that I just wasn't getting across.

I was mostly kidding about Harry Potter-- I did find it frustrating, though, how often they spent hours researching things manually, in the MAGIC fuck*ng LIBRARY AT THEIR MAGIC SCHOOL, when real-life students can just look things up on Wikipedia. No one ever invented a Google spell?
Logged
Social pressures exist
And if you think about them all of the time
You're gonna find that your head's been kicked in
You're gonna do it all for the grind

RMJ12345

  • Lie Bot
  • Tiny cans of Dr Pepper: 45
  • Offline Offline
  • Gender: Female
  • Posts: 381
  • all employing the principles of hopping
    • View Profile
    • myspace
Re: The Billion Dollar Idea Department
« Reply #14 on: August 07, 2007, 09:34:59 pm »
Quote from: theinevitable on August 07, 2007, 05:01:39 pm
ok, so, I am not sure what I was saying in that post that wasn't the same as what Paul was saying. i swear, I had some kind of point that I just wasn't getting across.

I was mostly kidding about Harry Potter-- I did find it frustrating, though, how often they spent hours researching things manually, in the MAGIC fuck*ng LIBRARY AT THEIR MAGIC SCHOOL, when real-life students can just look things up on Wikipedia. No one ever invented a Google spell?

This is my main question about the magic world - what would they do in the information age? Would they still use owls?

The Internets is the one tool we could use against Voldemort.

If Harry Potter was real.
Logged
Pages: [1] 2 3   Go Up
« previous next »