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I get so lonely up here. You never write, you never call.

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Author Topic: Flat on my back  (Read 12405 times)

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CortJstr

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Re: Flat on my back
« Reply #30 on: August 07, 2007, 04:17:18 pm »
Quote from: jldunston on August 07, 2007, 03:47:44 pm
Quote from: side_show on August 07, 2007, 03:45:01 pm
asymmetrical testicles

Man!  What is up with that shit? 

After I see a (natural) pair of perfectly symmetrical breasts and nipples then you can complain.

I'm going to assume that the general male aversion to banging pregnant chicks is yet another hold-over from the knock-up-as-many-women-as-possible gene that we blame so much male behavior on. That or we're afraid that the baby will grab our wang.
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side_show

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Re: Flat on my back
« Reply #31 on: August 07, 2007, 04:24:25 pm »
Quote from: CortJstr on August 07, 2007, 04:17:18 pm
That or we're afraid that the baby will grab our wang.

What's wrong with a free handjob? 

(Oh!  That is foul.  I'm sorry.)
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theinevitable

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Re: Flat on my back
« Reply #32 on: August 07, 2007, 04:58:47 pm »
ok, so, asymmetrical testes? I am trying to envision how they could be asymmetrical. In size, or in position? Because the position thing is so that they won't get crushed between your legs when you walk.

also: no symmetrical breasts in real life? really? I must not be looking for flaws hard enough.
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CortJstr

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Re: Flat on my back
« Reply #33 on: August 07, 2007, 05:26:18 pm »
Quote from: theinevitable on August 07, 2007, 04:58:47 pm
ok, so, asymmetrical testes? I am trying to envision how they could be asymmetrical. In size, or in position? Because the position thing is so that they won't get crushed between your legs when you walk.

also: no symmetrical breasts in real life? really? I must not be looking for flaws hard enough.

For anything in the human body that has a left and right version they're going to be different, breasts were just a convenient, and sexy, point of reference. But you have one foot that's at least a bit bigger than the other, and you probably know which one it is and probably consistently try on new shoes with that foot.

Also, Smells with the alley oop!
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Nabubrush

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Re: Flat on my back
« Reply #34 on: August 07, 2007, 05:29:23 pm »
Quote from: CortJstr on August 07, 2007, 05:26:18 pm
For anything in the human body that has a left and right version they're going to be different, breasts were just a convenient, and sexy, point of reference. But you have one foot that's at least a bit bigger than the other, and you probably know which one it is and probably consistently try on new shoes with that foot.

Also, Smells with the alley oop!

Lungs, too. Your lungs don't match up exactly. Don't ask me how I know this.
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theinevitable

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Re: Flat on my back
« Reply #35 on: August 07, 2007, 05:32:09 pm »
my body is pretty asymmetrical. I have always blamed this on being a preemie, but I have no reason to think this. The only place where this really bugs me is my jawline-- one side is very different from the other. So basically I am Quasimodo--unfit for human love or companionship.
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side_show

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Re: Flat on my back
« Reply #36 on: August 07, 2007, 05:34:53 pm »
Boobs and testicles are basically right beside each other, which makes any asymmetry more noticeable I guess.  I suppose as we get older and things sag more, these asymmetries pronounce themselves more also.  All I'm saying is as humans, we have a pretty good capacity for ignoring the less attractive parts of our loved ones to get ourselves off.  This is a good thing.  Remember: even Quasimodo got some action.
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CortJstr

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Re: Flat on my back
« Reply #37 on: August 07, 2007, 05:41:08 pm »
Quote from: Nabubrush drinks (a lot) on August 07, 2007, 05:29:23 pm
Lungs, too. Your lungs don't match up exactly. Don't ask me how I know this.

I wondered who'd be performing surgery on me while I slept. I just assumed it was like those shoe-cobbling elves but with tiny scalpels.

Oh, and I'm sure that if you Google it you can find asymmetrical-themed porn. Don't worry tI, you're somebody's fetish.
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theinevitable

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Re: Flat on my back
« Reply #38 on: August 07, 2007, 06:22:08 pm »
hey! I'm not -that- asymmetrical! I would probably fit into a normal person's non-fetish.

you know, if they had a thing for skinny pale boys. Which, I mean, I know at least a few people to whom that applies... where's the porn for them?
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jaydub

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Re: Flat on my back
« Reply #39 on: August 07, 2007, 07:03:47 pm »
Quote from: theinevitable on August 07, 2007, 06:22:08 pm
you know, if they had a thing for skinny pale boys. Which, I mean, I know at least a few people to whom that applies... where's the porn for them?

I'm pretty sure Dan Savage would be into you. He got all vapory over Ashton Kutcher once.

Links might be NSFW in an overly regimented environment, btw.
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littlefallsmets

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Re: Flat on my back
« Reply #40 on: August 07, 2007, 07:31:52 pm »
My girlfriend is deeply enamoured of big dudes... not fat dudes, really, but like... big sturdy barrel chested kinda dudes. Old-school strongman looking dudes. Like how they drew Superman in the Thirties.

Anyway, she found a porno magazine with such dudes naked and she was all such as:

"Michael! Michael! I found a porn mag for me..."

And when I saw the cover said "Big Bear" I didn't have the heart to tell her what that meant... until she figured it out upon opening the centrefold and such fellows were getting blown by skinny little gay dudes, the people who were supposed to be into the magazine.

"Oh... oh nevermind. This magazine is not actually for me."

She sighed and set it down and looked back toward the arts and crafts section.
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Nabubrush

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Re: Flat on my back
« Reply #41 on: August 07, 2007, 07:36:38 pm »
Quote from: jaydub on August 07, 2007, 07:03:47 pm
I'm pretty sure Dan Savage would be into you. He got all vapory over Ashton Kutcher once.

Links might be NSFW in an overly regimented environment, btw.

Don't get your hopes up, though. Dan Savage is in a committed, monogamous relationship.
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smick

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Re: Flat on my back
« Reply #42 on: August 07, 2007, 07:42:51 pm »
Quote from: side_show on August 07, 2007, 03:45:01 pm
asymmetrical testicles

When I tripped and fell on the urologist, that's just how they came out.  I was kind of bugged by it for a while, but then I realized I can't accidentally procreate any more, and I no longer felt so bad.
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jaydub

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Re: Flat on my back
« Reply #43 on: August 07, 2007, 08:04:07 pm »
Quote from: Nabubrush drinks (a lot) on August 07, 2007, 07:36:38 pm
Don't get your hopes up, though. Dan Savage is in a committed, monogamous relationship.
I think he even has a kid.
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linnea

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Re: Flat on my back
« Reply #44 on: August 07, 2007, 08:14:19 pm »
Quote from: Nabubrush drinks (a lot) on August 07, 2007, 07:36:38 pm
Don't get your hopes up, though. Dan Savage is in a committed, monogamous relationship.

I remember reading that Dan and his husband/boyfriend have three-ways all the time. I don't think they're monogamous, just committed. They do have a kid, as well.

Quote from: smick on August 07, 2007, 07:42:51 pm
When I tripped and fell on the urologist, that's just how they came out.  I was kind of bugged by it for a while, but then I realized I can't accidentally procreate any more, and I no longer felt so bad.

Getting one's vas defrens snipped makes one's testicles go asymmetrical? Damn! I did not know that.
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