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[HudsonVC]

In which some fairly tired riffing on theme-restaurant platter names gives Beef "a terrible case of the Dignities":

http://www.achewood.com/index.php?date=08202007

Wow. Mr. Onstad has just mined a vein of comedy that it in no way recalls Tchotchke's or Shenaningan's or T.J. O'Pootertoot's and that one episode of The Simpsons where Moe turns his bar into a tacky theme  joint.

That said, I may change my user name to "Sure-Shootin' Rex Dandycorn."

[Doc]

Yeah this went a bit too over the top to be that funny. Though Beef's spin landing on the tomb stone is nicely typical.

[jaydub]

You know you're up late when the damn Aussies are posting.  I got to admit, I tend to go either of two ways with the incredibly enthusiastic waitstaff.  Beef and Ray are standing in nicely for that.  Most often, coming in with a buzz on will tilt me down the path of enjoying the absurdity.  Sometimes though, I walk into the joint, pick up the vibe and just go "I am so not in the mood".  A hot dog off the cart vendor near the hardware store is the best option in such times.

[gloomba]

My favorite part of this strip is the incorrect ñ in "bueno."

I also got a kick out of "Blammin' Slammin' Oh Man Am I Jammin'."  That is truly nauseating.

I have trouble just getting ice cream at Cold Stone because they refer to small, medium, and large as "like it," "love it," and "gotta have it" (or something along those lines).  Ugh.

[theinevitable]

this is like how, at Moe's, the three sizes of "Queso" (don't even get me started on that name...) are Side, Cup, and Bowl. This makes sense until people ask for a Side of Queso, and then complain "no! I wanted the big one!" while others get all pissy when you ask "what size?"-- "um... a side. that's what I just said."


WELCOME TO fuck*ng MOE'S

_{luckily I am probably never entering that place again after yesterday.}

[jay-ell]

I have trouble just getting ice cream at Cold Stone because they refer to small, medium, and large as "like it," "love it," and "gotta have it" (or something along those lines).  Ugh.

I always get Lovett size. 

We don't go to T.G.I. Friday's unless we're both in the foulest of moods.  Because it's the only place in town where we don't feel bad about abusing the wait staff. 

[gloomba]

Cold Stone depresses me all around.  Aside from the size debacle, if you tip them, they have to sing degrading songs.  This discourages me from tipping, but then that makes me feel bad for not tipping.  Then I start worrying about what kind of circumstances forced them into getting a job where you have to sing for quarters.  A simple excursion to get ice cream becomes a spiral of shame and liberal guilt about my own privilege.  In general I prefer Baskin-Robbins.

[jay-ell]

Cold Stone depresses me all around.  Aside from the size debacle, if you tip them, they have to sing degrading songs.  This discourages me from tipping, but then that makes me feel bad for not tipping.  Then I start worrying about what kind of circumstances forced them into getting a job where you have to sing for quarters.  A simple excursion to get ice cream becomes a spiral of shame and liberal guilt about my own privilege.  In general I prefer Baskin-Robbins.

I love Cold Stone.  It is my favourite Ice Cream Parlour.  Due to deliciousness.  I can overlook the social awkwardness of it, because their ice cream creations are so tasty. 

The Best: Peanut Butter Cup Perfection with Dark Chocolate ice cream (instead of regular chocolate, which it comes with.)  IMHO, of course. 

Around these parts, Cold Stone is staffed predominately with high school students who seem to really enjoy singing for tips and being generally perky in some sort of twisted display of Cheerleaderesque "School Spirit."  That, or sullen, shaggy-haired boys looking to earn some cash for a new Paiste or perhaps that high-powered amp, who dish your ice cream in silence with subtly rippling sinews barely emerging from their short sleeves, then betray their mild manner with a charming, boyish grin as they place the dripping cone in your trembling hand.  "Here you go, Mrs. Robinson," he murmurs...

Oh, man.  Sorry about that.  Got lost in my head for a second there. 

[Bimmicus]

Funny, I have that condition too.

[CortJstr]

I actually like how when you put money in the tip jar at Five Guys whoever sees you do it says "thank you" then the rest of the staff will all say "thank you" together.

I always hated ordering from Little Caesar's. Because you'd order 2 pizzas, then they clerk would be, "OK, so does that mean you want to order 'one' so we give you 2, or do you want to order '2' so you get 4 total?" It was even worse for odd numbers.

And while I'm at it, when you order something in another language, do you try to pronounce the name of the dish as written, or just say "the sauteed mushrooms"?

[smick]

And while I'm at it, when you order something in another language, do you try to pronounce the name of the dish as written, or just say "the sauteed mushrooms"?

Nah, I figure when they put numbers on the menu, that's to help keep me from like an exotifying ass or an idiot. 

"I'll go with #38."
"The Pra Nlick P'ant"
"That's the one."

Also, Mrs. Dunston, reading that made me want to go get some ice cream and fuck a teenage boy.

[jay-ell]

Also, Mrs. Dunston, reading that made me want to go get some ice cream and fuck a teenage boy.

Ever my goal -- to inspire lust for ice cream and jailbait. 

[theinevitable]

yeah, I know like 5 people that have worked at Cold Stone and quit due to Hating.

my favorite story is the following:
we have a burrito called the "Joey Bag of Donuts"
most regulars simply call this a Joey.

a week or so ago, when ringing up a customer, I said "ok, so it's a Joey bag of Donuts and a soda?"
"no... I don't have any donuts."
"Excuse me?"
"I... you said something about donuts. I just have a burrito."
"oh... Oh! *pretends to change something on the register* well, thank you ma'am, your total will be (some really unfair amount of money because Moe's charges too much, I think)"

[dejavroom]

Meh strip, but do I love Ray's expression looking at us in the last panel...

[linnea]

I love Cold Stone.  It is my favourite Ice Cream Parlour.  Due to deliciousness.  I can overlook the social awkwardness of it, because their ice cream creations are so tasty. 

The Best: Peanut Butter Cup Perfection with Dark Chocolate ice cream (instead of regular chocolate, which it comes with.)  IMHO, of course. 

Around these parts, Cold Stone is staffed predominately with high school students who seem to really enjoy singing for tips and being generally perky in some sort of twisted display of Cheerleaderesque "School Spirit."  That, or sullen, shaggy-haired boys looking to earn some cash for a new Paiste or perhaps that high-powered amp, who dish your ice cream in silence with subtly rippling sinews barely emerging from their short sleeves, then betray their mild manner with a charming, boyish grin as they place the dripping cone in your trembling hand.  "Here you go, Mrs. Robinson," he murmurs...

Oh, man.  Sorry about that.  Got lost in my head for a second there. 

Heh! Now I don't feel like such a pervert.