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[RMJ12345]

Being in a fairly similar friendship that is much further along all I can say is that it's important to beware of emotional vampirism from a friend like this.  The friend I mention is never interested in my talking about my own personal traumas and likes to minimize them because no one, no one, has suffered as much as she has.  So my SO and I both focus on the happy times with her, and are only willing to talk about her bad stuff in a limited way, give our support/advice/criticism then move on to other things.  If she wants to wallow, we just shut down and wait for her to participate in the friendship again.  We only welcome the give and take now, and with these ground rules established, our friendship is much healthier.  Like me and my SO, I'd say it's best to keep a third party in the friendship.  Someone who's not "on her side" you can check in with and say "is s/he being legit about circumstance A, B, C, etc.?"  It's much easier to see when you're being honest, when you're giving too much, when you're being callous, etc. when there's someone else there with you to serve as a barometer.

That's really good advice for being friends with females of my age in general (I find). As long as you are able to cut them off when they begin to wallow or consciously attract sympathy, and have someone with whom you can discuss the friend (in a loving if bitchy way) then everything will work out.

A real friend, no matter what their mental state, can handle you calling them on their bullshit, and will call you on yours too - and either sort of exchange should be done with constant good humour.  It's actually an important part of friendship. 

QFT.

[jough]

As long as your friend isn't a "huge uncut asian jerkboy" that posts spam to everyone on the forum, I'm fine with whatever lifestyle choices they choose to make.

[side_show]

Oh man.  That was some good times.  Remember him?  He was like "Holy shit!  I have a huge cock! Check it out!"

[Nabubrush]

Oh man.  That was some good times.  Remember him?  He was like "Holy shit!  I have a huge cock! Check it out!"

Well sure - who wouldn't?

[smick]

It was pretty astounding.

[Lister]

I think it's awesome that the asian jerkboy isn't the worst newbie ever to come post here.

[linnea]

Oh man.  That was some good times.  Remember him?  He was like "Holy shit!  I have a huge cock! Check it out!"

Heh...I should have realized that pressing the "report to moderator" button would send a copy of it to jough and the other mods, who must have been deluged with copies of that wretched thing. Yikes!

[CortJstr]

Heh...I should have realized that pressing the "report to moderator" button would send a copy of it to jough and the other mods, who must have been deluged with copies of that wretched thing. Yikes!

I'm pretty sure that only goes to Jough, because I've never received any reports of anything. Maybe if you'd clicked the button in one my two fora.

[jay-ell]

It goes to me, too. 

Given that I wasn't even active here at the time, it was a nice surprise in my inbox. 

I think I only got two or three copies, though.  I didn't open any but the first. 

[RMJ12345]

Update- Nobody I'm friends with here is buying this individual's transition. My good friend who dated a transman for years is pretty offended by how flippantly he is treating trans identities. The individual meanwhile is simultaneously talking constantly about his identity and whining about how he's a token tranny and how "[he's] a boy, no argument." This is all while he's wearing a skirt. Oh, and no one is allowed to question him about his identity either.

[littlefallsmets]

Oh man.

I have this mental picture, now, of a glammed-up Valley girl in a mini-skirt, tubetop, crocs, yappy rat-dog in a Louis Vitton bag and Dr. Pepper lipsmackers on her mouth, poppin' gum, bein' all...

"No, I'm like totally a man and whatever. Totally. I'm like gettin' the surgery in two weeks! Uhm, I was def gonna get it Saturday but there was a sale at the Shoetorium and I was like OHMIGOD I think I can wait a week for my tiny misshapen non-functioning c*ck if it means 20% off pumps, yaknow? Y'know?"

Or is he a crossdressing man stuck in a woman's body? That'd be an interesting claim.

[RMJ12345]

Crossdressing man in a women's body is basically right on the money. Calls himself a drag queen. Or an effeminite transmasculine person. A gay man.


He was a high femme lesbian less than a year ago.

[littlefallsmets]

Oh man. AWESOME.

When it gets to the point where he/she starts claiming to be an avatar of Rama or a were-moose, that's where the identity-tornado will REALLY get fun.

But you know that this person IS doomed for a prolonged personality-redefinition as a born-again Christian, right? Probably in his/her later twenties?

This is not a knock on all born-agains, some of them are quite sincere in their faith. But EVEN THOSE born-agains will admit that a good 20% of their brethern are psychotics who've exhausted all the "rebellious" identities and, with those roads all taken, do the hard 180 to extreme-goody-goody.

It'll last a lot longer than all the other phases, probably until their early middleage when they're finally "burnt-out drunk".

[RMJ12345]

My bet is that she begins to identify as a person of color. She hasn't yet (she's Italian in ethnicity) but she's started talking about how her great-grandmother was a light-skinned African-American. She knows this from pictures.

[Arachno-capitalist]

My bet is that she begins to identify as a person of color. She hasn't yet (she's Italian in ethnicity) but she's started talking about how her great-grandmother was a light-skinned African-American. She knows this from pictures.

Whoa, white woman to black man - Reverse Michael Jackson.