Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

[Golfhaus]

The Hammer is part of a story I've been working on where...

God or an alien or something is considering whether to wipe out the human race and we are left, those of us who want or do not want the human race wiped out, to agree on one piece of evidence each and to present them to the judge making the decision.

I'd watch that movie, don't get me wrong. But wasn't that basically the reason that Q existed on Star Trek: The Next Generation?

[littlefallsmets]

That's just why Q SAID he was on the show.

Actually, it was because he had a really fun time being a dick... and God bless him for it.

Anyway, it's more of a short story. I have reams and reams of five-to-ten page short stories that'll never see the light of day anywhere just sorta clogging up computers. I... I'm basically Vonnegut's Kilgore Trout or PKD's H-o-r-s-e-lover Fat for the modern age. I've come to grips with this.

I am a made-up writer character in a story from a much better writer's imagination, used mainly to express his stranger and less useful ideas through.

It's cool. I am hip to this.

[jaydub]

I am a made-up writer character in a story from a much better writer's imagination, used mainly to express his her stranger and less useful ideas through.

It's cool. I am hip to this.

You got Wombat's gender wrong, there.

[Carlos del Vaca]

LFM, you need to track down the Penn & Teller short story "Invisible Thread."

[Doc]

I really like the sound of that one LFM. Reminds me of Asimov-era sci fi short stories. You know back when sci fi was 'what would be the social reaction to x, let's write a story exploring that and thus reveal deeper truths about humanity' not 'CHICKS WITH LAZER GUNS!!!'

[mavies]

H-o-r-s-e-lover Fat

Please don't mention h-o-r-s-e loving. I'm trying to get that second life thing out of my brain.

I'm agreeing with Doc, that story of yours sounds pretty cool. I'm completely not averse to reading science fiction, so if you ever upload any or whatever, y'know, tell us.

I just read Iain M. Bank's Against a Dark Background and it has some interesting ideas in it, not to mention chicks with laser guns. Also, death. Lots and lots of death.

[Nabubrush]

You got Wombat's gender wrong, there.

jaydub all on top of things.

[linnea]

Thanks for the craigslist suggestions. I put in emails to about a dozen people who listed their computers for sale, and only one got back to me. I asked Kellichou to come with me, and god damn am I glad I did. I bought the computer and my roommate is helping me configure it for our wireless intarwub connection here in the house.

Backstory about the creepy Craigslist dudes: Kelli and I pull up to an older suburban house. The driveway is cluttered with old bike frames, an old lawnmower, all kinds of shit. The guy I spoke with on the phone, J,  invites us in and I immediately make up my mind that if we have to go any farther than the front door that I am pushing Kelli out the window to safety and jumping after her. Inside the house there is a dude the size of a god damned wall standing there. The house is pretty damn cluttered, although not the worst I've seen in my EMT days (you would be appalled at how some people live). A little boy sits on the stairs. The computer is on a card table in the living room. Mercifully there's no carpeting and the whole place was hardwood floors...but even still the place smells awful. You notice a huge tank that contains - yep! Two huge snakes. Lovely.

The huge dude is introduced as J's son Vern. The little boy is not introduced. Maybe he is Vern's son and J's grandson? I have no idea. J starts messing around with the computer. I'm nervous about being in the situation and thereby jumpier than a flea on a flat dog and say, "That's fine, I'll take it" while whipping out my wallet. He shows me the software it's got preloaded and I'm just like, fine, fine. I ask about the hard drive size and he says "40 gigs". Vern pipes up that he has a 400 gig drive because he downloads anime. Then he makes a comment that it's not hentai. CREEEEEPY. Don't want to know, thanks.

Kelli tries to make small talk with the dudes. I shoot her the evilest look I can muster. Christ, don't talk to them! We need to get the computer and get the hell out! The dudes are talking to each other about the snakes, Kelli asks about them, and then Vern goes over to get them out!! I wanted to kick her. Fortunately Vern only holds them out for us to look at and then puts them back. They are ball pythons, about 5 feet long. Fortunately I don't get skeeved out by snakes, otherwise I would have fled.

Anyway, then J wants to install a program that plays DVDs. Finally, after a bunch of finagling I finally get him to shut down the computer. He realizes that he's left the damned software CD in the drive so he has to repower it. It's like pulling teeth. The little boy helps me with the cables. J says to me, "Have you ever had mumps?" The little boy has mumps.

Kelli and I look at each other, appalled. Kelli manages, "Uh, well, we've had our MMRs..." Vern laughs and says, "So did he!" Kelli and I FLEE AS FAST AS OUR LEGS WILL CARRY US.

Damn. Nothing bad happened (except for the vaccine-resistant mumps exposure) but I won't be buying anything off Craigslist again unless I can bring a burly man with me. And maybe an N95 face mask.

[linnea]

So...this craigslist computer just made a terrible burning smell and shut down.

Probably the power supply just took four shits and died.

Fuck. At least I still have this old laptop as a backup. Dammit.

[jough]

You have to be careful of those internet used computer salesmen.

[jaydub]

So...this craigslist computer just made a terrible burning smell and shut down.
Probably the power supply just took four shits and died.

Did you know electronics run on magic smoke?  They break when the smoke gets out.
A power supply fix is pretty easy (assuming it didn't somehow fry the rest of the board).  Get yourself a nice Antec.  There's lots of education available on such things at anandtech.com or Tom's Hardware (and a million overclocking sites).  Anyone who can figure out which end of a screwdriver is the pointy one can replace a PSU.

[linnea]

I have the world's raddest roommate, and I mentioned it to him on chat (I live upstairs, he lives downstairs, it's a big house, we don't see each other that often).  The next morning, when I woke up, he had installed a new power supply (I guess he has lots of computer parts) and brought it upstairs. It works like a charm...except for the shittay wireless internet card, he helped me find a linksys USB wireless networking card on eBay and hopefully that will arrive in a few days.

Damn! Lucky me!

[wombat]

notice a huge tank that contains - yep! Two huge snakes. Lovely.

Hey! What's wrong with snakes!

No, I understand. An already obviously creepy guy who has snakes... it's probably not a good thing for the snakes either.

[linnea]

Hey! What's wrong with snakes!

No, I understand. An already obviously creepy guy who has snakes... it's probably not a good thing for the snakes either.

It's disconcerting...not meant as a slam against reptile owners. A lot of people are scared of snakes.

[side_show]

Oh man... what is wrong with the people on Craigslist?  I swear this should be the Craigslist mascot.  In trying to sell my car, I'm fairly certain at least one guy was trying to have a convenient mode of taking me away somewhere no one would find me via a test drive (thankfully I smelled danger and didn't give him my address) and at least four more people were trying to scam me.  I swear Linnea, if you hadn't brought you sister we'd be asking, where's Linnea - oh she went away on work... she'll be back eventually... but it's been a long time..."