Print

Please login or register.
1 Hour 1 Day 1 Week 1 Month Forever
Login with username, password and session length

[littlefallsmets]

Three chapters in, actually.

Like, twenty-one pages. Doing the Vonnegut-style many short chapters thing.

I'm tryin', tryin' my best at a medium I got no training in.

[wombat]

Oh good!

I actually felt bad about needling you and went and voted for your radio show in penance... but I am glad you are making progress.

[littlefallsmets]

That was a needling? Man, I must not get Subtle Things, I thought you were just askin'.

How was it needling? Was it like "hey, work on your book instead of pickin' on The Boss!"?

Huh.

[wombat]

It was a needlin' like it might make you think "Oh god, I am never going to get to work on that book, I am such a Failure, and who I am to pick on someone who is successful and has a large body of excellent songs when I am just sitting around writing messageboard posts all day."

It is good that you did not realize this. That is very well-adjusted for a creative type in my opinion. Hey, do you also not do that thing where, when someone says something nice about your work, you pick it apart to try to figure out what they really mean?

 

[JorgeFabregas]

So what exactly is Martha singing about, anyway?

[littlefallsmets]

womb@:

Honestly? The only person's criticism who I listen to is my own. If I really believe in what I'm doing, I don't care what anyone says.

My problem is that I'm deeply-deeply-deeply hypercritical.

I don't need anyone else to break my confidence in a thing I'm doing because I'm so riddled with self-doubt. I hate everything I've ever written, even the stuff that I think is good, because it isn't perfect. I hold myself to my own personal standard of perfection and so I never succeed.

I like when people say something nice about my work, it is a small nice thing, but I am so arrogant and such a perfectionist, that I assume they are either just being nice to me out of pity (rarely) or they're just not knowledgable enough about writing things to know that I suck (usually).

Basically, I think this is because my mother had me pegged as a lawyer or a college professor from birth and I could never be one of those things. I would get A-minuses and she would make me feel guilty that I did not get an A. My mom is deeply disappointed that I am trying and thusfar failing at being a professional writer.

I am 28 and I am still in "a phase".

My dad just wants me to not be broke and be happy.

I... have longer phone conversations with my father.

[jay-ell]

Basically, I think this is because my mother had me pegged as a lawyer or a college professor from birth and I could never be one of those things. I would get A-minuses and she would make me feel guilty that I did not get an A. My mom is deeply disappointed that I am trying and thusfar failing at being a professional writer.

If I got a 98 on an exam, my dad would ask why I missed that one question and tell me to study harder on the next one. 

If I got a 100, he would say, "see?  you did it this time, you should do it every time." 

This did not get better when I went to college. 

I feel for you, LFM.  I share your pain. 

I love my dad, but...basically I feel like my entire life is lived in order to make him proud of me someday. 

People with kids, don't do this to them.  It is...damaging. 

[littlefallsmets]

Ah, man. It is bad to know that you went through this too and yet.. it is good to know that I'm not alone in this.

Interesting thing, of course, is that my dad loves everything I write. Loves it. I mean, I write from the point of view of the books and movies that he turned me onto as a kid, of course I'd be good at writing for him.

My mom just tells me that I swear too much and nobody cares about the kinds of stories I tell and... it wouldn't sell and if I'm GONNA try and write, I should write something like Tuesdays with Morrie because at least that would make some money.

[wombat]

My mom just tells me that I swear too much and nobody cares about the kinds of stories I tell and... it wouldn't sell and if I'm GONNA try and write, I should write something like Tuesdays with Morrie because at least that would make some money.

I infer from this that you actually let your mom read stuff? I feel this is pointing out the obvious but.. if so, STOP.

I was fortunate to have a really excellent dissertation advisor who taught me where to draw the line between wanting something to be perfect and, as he always put it, 'getting product out the door.' I'm not really sure how to pass this wisdom on, unfortunately...The best way I can explain how I look at it is - Look around you - in general the standards are so low. I mean, how many movies do you see, or books that you pick up, that are total crap? You can fall short of your idea of absolute perfection and still be a lot better than half the stuff that gets published. So why shouldn't you get published too?

But, the thing is, you really have to internalize this attitude. I am not sure how you get this to replace an internal hypercritical attitude.  The only thing is that I suspect that an internal strongly hypercritical attitude sometimes is really a cover for a fear that other people will think it is crap. You claim that you don't care what other people think of your work if you believe in it. But I wonder if it's really, you decide your stuff isn't good enough not because it falls short of your standards, but because you're really afraid that the rest of the world will react like your mom.

Of course, this is a snap diagnosis made without consulting your full medical history...

And yeah, people, don't do that to your kids.

[iron_felix]

Another third of the ads were Dane Cook ranting about how awesome October is, screaming out names of players and teams that he'd clearly just been told by the lady holding the cue cards but completely pretending to know and care.

Wait... that was Dane Cook in those commercials?  I guess I should be thankful I haven't had enough exposure to him before to have recognized him.  Apart from the general knowledge that he is a douchebag, and does douchebag things, I basically only know about his "somebody shit on the coats" routine.  That alone is enough to draw my ire.  Never mind that it's not funny.  Normally I'm not such a pedant about this kind of thing, but I just can't hear or read that phrase anywhere without thinking, "'Somebody shat on the coats,' you imbecile!  Shat!  Past tense!"

Now I have even more reason to hate the commercials, anyway.  People like that are annoying enough when they actually are die-hard fans of a team.  On the other hand, I actually like that one Budweiser advert with the two guys at the opera.  It's the ones for Quiznos that get to me - I guess I still haven't forgiven them for dropping those singing rodents.

[lprkn]

Oh come on, the rodents were advertising gold and you know it. Incidentally, the word shat annoys the shit out of me. I don't think it should be a real word. If you're all set up to cuss, a little disregard for proper grammer should be in order.

[Carlos del Vaca]

Incidentally, the word shat annoys the shit out of me. I don't think it should be a real word.

Amen to that.  The past tense of "quit" is not "quat," now is it?

[iron_felix]

But... but "shat" just sounds so... so Anglo-Saxon.  And isn't that what cussing is all about, really?

lprkn - I'm mad at them for dropping the ads, not for running them in the first place.  Apparently they've moved on from sandwiches to bacon that can hover, but it's not quite the same.  You can also buy the plush doll, which disturbs me on a level I can't describe in writing.  Can you imagine going to sleep with one of those things?

[littlefallsmets]

I don't let my mom read my stuff anymore but... anytime she hears any detail of my stuff from anyone, Lord knows she's down for ripping those things apart. And I should go back to school and become an English professor. "You'd still be working with words" she says.

Oh yeah, the voice in the back of my head that tells me I'm shit is my mom's voice.

It's not about impressing her anymore, persay, but yeah... she's the one who planted that seed in my head.

I'm fightin' it, I'm fightin' it.

[wombat]

And I should go back to school and become an English professor. "You'd still be working with words" she says.

Your mom may or may not know anything about writing but damn, she sure doesn't know anything about the job market. That is seriously lousy advice.